Even though it hurts knowing that I’ll never see you after you are born, I have complete confidence that you will have a full and happy life with them. And, I pray that my gut was right. They are awesome, and I wish I could see you blossom under their care.
Love,
Kelsey,
Your Mom
Who are the parents? Couldn’t she have at least have given their names?
This is killing me not knowing.
A mystery to be unraveled.
I quickly fold the letter and put it back and pull out the third one.
Brandy,
I can’t believe how big you’re getting. Or, how big I’m getting. My stomach is huge and I need to pee every five minutes. But I don’t care. I’d keep you here forever if I could. I love how you kick so much, like you are a fighter and aren’t going to take shit from anyone. Even though your adoptive parents are awesome, I still want you to be tough because the world can be tough, and I want you to be able to stand on your own.
Your kicking is keeping me awake. Or maybe it’s because I can’t get comfortable. But that’s okay. It’s just more time that I can spend with you.
I was lying in bed trying to think about all the things you need to know, and I guess the first is roots. I always knew mine but Brandon struggled with wanting to know who he was and where he’d come from. He was just found one day, wandering the streets. The only thing he knew was that he was Brandon Lange, age five and that his birthday was October 5th. He didn’t know his dad’s name. He was just Dad and Brandon couldn’t remember ever having a mom. He didn’t have a home either. He and his dad slept wherever they were that night, and they only had each other. No friends or anything. Then one night, his dad disappeared and never came back. Nobody reported Brandon missing, and he never found out what happened to his dad. That’s when your dad went into the system. I wish I could tell you more, but we never did learn anything more.
What I can tell you is that he was a wonderful person. He protected and loved me. He kept me safe, and he had dreams of a future. He wanted an education, a steady job and a home. We both wanted that. Neither one of us knew I was carrying you when he was killed. My pregnancy would have scared him, as it did me. But, we would have faced it together, and I promise you that Brandon would have been the best dad. Because of who he was and where he’d come from, he would have made sure you were safe, protected and loved. Even if he couldn’t give you nice things, you would have never doubted how much he loved you just like I never doubted how much he loved me.
My mom was Elizabeth Waters. She fell in love with Jason when she was fifteen. He was a high school football star. She was a cheerleader, and they both lived in a small town in Ohio. She was raised in an extremely uptight and religious home. No sinning allowed and she was punished when she stepped out of line. When she was sixteen, she got pregnant. Her parents kicked her out, and Jason was just 17 and not able to help her. His parents wouldn’t help either and blamed Elizabeth for tempting their son. Because nobody was willing to help her, she ran away to New York. She thought she’d get a job and just take care of herself. It didn’t quite work out that way. She landed with the wrong crowd, and her baby was born early. He died. But, Mom didn’t go home. It wasn’t long before she was pregnant with me. When I was four, she was involved with a drug deal that went bad and she was stabbed to death. That’s how I ended up with child services because my grandparents, the religious ones back in Ohio, didn’t want to have anything to do with their daughter’s sin.
I guess I kind of repeated my mother’s history. Not the drugs or any of that. I won’t touch anything like that. I don’t even drink and didn’t because I wanted a better life than what I had, and I wasn’t going to screw it up.
It’s not much, but I wanted to give you some roots. Some idea of where you came from. I wish I could tell you more, but I don’t know any more. I guess I could have tried to meet my grandparents, but after the way they treated my mom, I don’t really want to know them at all.
Well, I guess I should finish this. I need to get up soon for class.
Love,
Kelsey,
Your Mom
Well, whoever this Brandy is, she will know more about her parents than I can ever hope to. All I’ve ever been told was that my mom loved me, but couldn’t keep me.
I’ve never known people that would kick their own kid out, and it’s kind of appalling. I know I screwed up that day of the competition by going for ice cream and then sneaking out, but Mom and Dad would never kick me out. Just make me clean the house from top to bottom and not do anything fun.
Even if I screwed up and got pregnant, they wouldn’t kick me out. My life might not be pleasant, but they’d still keep me.
Poor Kelsey. Poor Kelsey’s mom.
People suck.
“Madison? Where are you?”
