Adolf and Brooklyn went off to hitch a ride into the nearest town to get food, giggling like it was the most hilarious and amusing thing ever. Even that annoyed me in my travel-weary state. My paws hurt like hell, so I’d stayed in wolf form to lick them for a while. I knew I needed more food, too, but I’d only brought two dozen bags, enough to last me for the whole trip—eating my normal ration. If I ran out and couldn’t eat for the last week, I’d probably kill someone.
I realized then that I was assuming I’d go back to Ravenwood Academy at the end of the break. And I knew that wasn’t going to happen. How the hell was I going to get blood on my own?
Panic darted through me. I couldn’t tell my parents what I was. They’d think I was crazy and throw me in Cedar Crest like they had Gramma when she’d sensed something their minds couldn’t comprehend. And I wouldn’t bite my little sister. I vowed that right then. I’d never hurt Josie.
I went off behind some sandstone formations and changed into my clothes. My teeth throbbed painfully, straight down into the root, when I saw all the blood in my bag. It looked like so much. Surely it would be okay to have just one more…
“Timberlyn?”
Alarick’s voice interrupted my internal struggle, and I quickly zipped my bag and straightened. He stepped around the side of the formation, and relief filled his eyes as his brow smoothed. “Sorry,” he said. “You’d been gone a while, and I got worried.”
“I’m fine,” I lied, shaking my hair back. I wasn’t about to remind him of what I really was. They seemed to have forgotten for the moment that I wasn’t just a regular wolf like them. After all, I’d eaten all our kills with them. I’d run as a wolf for days with them. And I hadn’t shown them any indication that I was eating anything different than they were when we weren’t wolves.
We returned to a tiny fire Donovan was stoking. “Ready for another cold one?” he asked, not looking up.
“That sounds like a beer,” Jose said, leaning back on his elbows. “What I wouldn’t give for a cold one of those right now.”
“I’d take a sizzling steak with mine,” Alarick said.
“Yeah, or a burger,” Donovan said. “With fries. A mountain of fries. Not those wispy little wimp fries, either. I want thick ones. Man fries.”
We all laughed at that, and the others looked at me. I realized I was supposed to join in, to say what I wanted. But my brain was thumping in rhythm with my heart—blood, blood, blood.
“Cookies,” I blurted out. “My gramma’s cookies with milk.”
Or blood, my mind suggested.
Brooklyn and Adolf arrived back a few minutes later, carrying white plastic grocery sacks full of Styrofoam takeout boxes of refried beans, Mexican rice, enchiladas, burritos, tacos, and an extra one filled with churros.
“Well, it’s not fries and beer,” Jose said. “But burritos are good, too.”
I waited while everyone chose a box with what they wanted. “What do you want, Timberlyn?” Alarick asked.
Blood, I want fucking blood.
“Nothing,” I said. “I’m not hungry.”
“You’ve been running all day,” he said, his brow furrowing with concern. “You must be hungry.”
“Well, I’m not,” I said. “I’m fine. Really. You guys go ahead.”
“What’s wrong?” Alarick asked, coming to crouch beside me.
I crossed my arms over my chest, wishing he’d go away, that he could see I didn’t want to talk about it.
“You have to eat, Timberlyn,” he said. “You need to keep your strength up.”
“No, you have to eat,” I snapped.
Alarick’s lips tightened, and he stood and stalked off into the dark. I closed my eyes and cursed myself for letting my temper flare. But I was so fucking hungry.
“Aww, you hurt his feelers,” Adolf said.
“Shut up, Moon Moon,” I muttered.
I knew he was right, though. I’d just wanted Alarick to understand that I didn’t need the same food without me having to saying it to the whole group. But now it was too late. He’d pushed until I had to admit it, to explain myself to them. Otherwise, they’d think I was a bitch to their alpha for no reason.
“I can’t eat regular food,” I blurted out. “It makes me puke.”
They all stared at me.
“You mean, you eat blood?” Brooklyn asked, wrinkling her nose. She wasn’t the only one who looked like she was about to lose her own appetite at the thought.
I swallowed hard and looked down at my feet on the hard, sandy ground. “Yes.”
“But you ate with us yesterday,” Donovan said. “When we got the bighorn sheep.”
“I can eat in wolf form,” I said. “But this stuff? I can’t eat human food.”
Donovan looked off at the starry sky, his brow creased with thoughtfulness while he chewed. Jose pushed his food away, looking queasy. Brooklyn had stopped eating, while Adolf kept wolfing down his food like I hadn’t said anything at all about drinking blood.
“You ate with us once before,” Donovan said at last. “At the fire the morning after you joined our pack. Can you only eat meat?”
“I can’t eat anything when I’m in human form,” I said.
“Except blood,” Brooklyn supplied, as if anyone could forget.
I got up
