My good feeling doesn’t last too long, though. I don’t mention the call from Angus until we are in the cab on the way to the restaurant, and only then because he asks if I am OK.
‘Em, is everything OK? You’re very quiet.’ Rupert reaches for my hand, fiddling with the pair of diamond cut rings – one for engagement, one for wedding – that adorn my third finger.
‘Not really,’ I turn and give him a thin smile. I thought I had managed to convince myself that it didn’t matter, but clearly it does. To me, anyway. ‘I heard from Angus Beaton today.’
‘Angus Beaton?’ Rupert says, pulling his fingers away. ‘What are you doing talking to Angus Beaton?’
‘The Children’s Trust?’ I say hesitantly. ‘You donate to them every month, their letters are always sitting in the post pile. I went to see Angus, to see if I could start volunteering with him, but for some weird reason he said no. I did mention it to you when we went out for dinner. You said it was OK.’
Rupert is silent for a long moment, and I can feel the beginnings of a headache thumping at my temples. ‘Well,’ he says, eventually, ‘it’s not like you need to work anyway, is it? Probably for the best.’
‘It’s not about working, Rupert,’ I say testily, a buzz of irritation vibrating under my skin. ‘I just don’t understand why he turned me down. I mean, I’m offering him my time and my skills, for free – at first anyway – and they are a charity, for goodness’ sake. You’d think that they’d snap my hand off for offering, especially since…’ I stop, turning to look out of the window. ‘I thought Angus and I got on really well, the interview was excellent. I’m just disappointed, I suppose. I was looking forward to having something to do every day.’
Rupert says nothing for a moment. ‘I’m sure something else will come up,’ he says eventually, the relief when our cab pulls up outside the restaurant and he can avoid talking about it anymore evident on his face. He helps me from the car, pulling me to his side as we step over a large puddle. ‘Come on,’ he says, squeezing my shoulder a bit too tightly, ‘it’s not the end of the world. I’m sure, if you really, really want to volunteer then there will be somewhere else that could make good use of you.’
I can’t help feeling as though Rupert has just brushed the whole thing away like it’s nothing. Again. And it’s not nothing, not to me anyway. I can’t help believing that he wouldn’t have reacted that way if Caro had been upset. I have to force myself not to think like that, and I sneak a glance at Rupert, as we enter the upmarket Chinese restaurant Miles has chosen, reminding myself that he’s my husband now.
I shake the feeling off, determined not to spoil the evening and soon feel better once we get inside. The others are already here and are seated with the men at one end of the table and the wives at the other, and I won’t lie, I feel a little relieved by this seating arrangement. At least I can relax and have a drink with Sadie and Amanda without having to pretend I’m not annoyed with Rupert. I hope they will be a little more sympathetic to my disappointment.
‘You look gorgeous, I love how you’ve done your hair.’ Sadie sits down next to me and passes me a pisco sour. I have never had one before, not that I’m going to admit that to Sadie, and the combination of pisco and lime dances on my tongue.
‘Thanks. I’m looking forward to having a drink tonight, if you must know.’ I raise my cocktail glass, the foam from the egg white running over the top, making my fingers sticky.
‘Bad day?’ Sadie puts her head on one side and pouts. I get the feeling that maybe this cocktail isn’t Sadie’s first drink of the day.
‘Ugh. You could say that. I got a phone call from the guy at The Children’s Trust.’
‘Oh?’ A look crosses Sadie’s face, her brows drawing tightly together. ‘What about?’
‘After we talked about doing charity work at lunch the other week, I went to see him about volunteering in their fundraising department – basically he called me today and turned me down.’ I make a face and sip at my drink, the alcohol buzzing straight to my head.
‘Perhaps it’s for the best. Everything happens for a reason and all that.’ Sadie is brisk, brushing it aside in much the same way Rupert did, although this time there is an underlying edge to her voice as if I have said something wrong.
‘Maybe.’ I eye her closely, as she looks down the table to where Rupert, Miles and Will are all talking animatedly. ‘Sadie, did I do something wrong? You seem a little… I don’t know. Is it something about Angus and the trust?’
‘Look, if you must know…’ Sadie folds her napkin into tiny squares, her immaculate nail polish catching the light. ‘The Children’s Trust… it’s where Caro used to work. You caught me by surprise, mentioning the name of it, mentioning Angus.’
‘Oh my God.’ I sit back, my hand covering my mouth. The pisco sour is a heavy, sticky mass in my stomach. ‘The vacancy in the fundraising department isn’t Caro’s job, is it? I had no idea.’
‘Well, why would you? I mean, it’s not like we talk about it, is it? And Angus probably had no idea who you are. Don’t take it to heart, him saying you weren’t right for the job. He always was a fussy old bugger,
