‘Emer’s left for a couple of days,’ Lynsey told her. ‘But she said she’ll be back.’
Susannah wasn’t afraid, because she felt love surrounding her. Of the living, and of the dead. In the room with her was her mother, her sister, Kate, and even her lost daddy. She only had one regret.
Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Ava’s face. As clear as day. The black hair, cut straight with bangs, thick dark eyebrows, and dark eyes which swallowed her up. Why had she let her poor mother blackmail her all those years, when she had clearly been suffering from dementia? Would anyone have believed her? Susannah knew in her heart it had been an excuse. She had been afraid to leave the island. Afraid to trust Ava with her secret. She had lived the rest of her life in grief, not just for her sister, but also for Ava.
Someone had opened her window. It was a warm day, even though she knew it was Fall. She smelt the crispness of the trees outside, and a blackbird sat on her window sill, filling the room with the most beautiful song. She took one breath, then another. She was still alive.
Lynsey came into the room, followed by Rebecca.
‘You’re awake,’ Lynsey said gently. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Okay,’ Susannah croaked. It felt as if a knife was twisting in her stomach, but she didn’t want them to dope her up just yet.
‘Someone’s here to see you,’ Lynsey continued, and Susannah could see there was a careful look in her eyes.
‘Is Emer back?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ Rebecca told her.
Susannah was glad. She’d become very fond of the young Irish nurse. Almost viewed her as family.
‘She’s brought someone with her,’ Lynsey said, speaking very slowly, as if Susannah was deaf. ‘Went all the way to New York to get her.’
Susannah looked between her two nieces, not fully comprehending what Lynsey had just told her.
‘Ava’s come, Aunty, do you want to see her?’ Rebecca chirped, unable to keep it in any longer.
Susannah’s heart gave a leap and she gasped in shock. How did the girls know? Was this a dream?
She lifted her frail hands to her face.
‘But I look bad,’ she whispered. ‘Is it really her?’ She looked up at Lynsey.
‘You’re beautiful, Aunty,’ Lynsey said, patting her arm. ‘I’ll go get her.’
She was in a dream, she was sure of it. In the last blissful illusion, before death caught up with her. Ava had come back to her at long last.
45
Emer
5th December 2011
They walked the woods of her and Orla’s childhood. Crunching through the thin films of ice on the puddles, the mud hardened with frost. On her back, she felt the weight of what she was carrying in her backpack. She knew exactly where she needed to go.
Through the trees, rustling in the chill winter’s breeze. Their sound reminded her of the sea, and yet again, she thought about her strange time on Vinalhaven, and its end. Her most abiding memory was of Ava and Susannah reunited, albeit for just a few days. It had been surprisingly easy to find Ava, once she’d arrived at Ethan’s place in New York. He had even heard of her and knew the firm where she still worked, despite the fact she was in her seventies.
When Emer had turned up at her office, Ava had been shocked, but easily convinced to come with her once Emer had explained the urgency of the situation. Her initial delight at hearing her lost love had finally sent a messenger for her had turned to distress to hear of her sickness.
On the long drive to Vinalhaven, Ava had told Emer how much she’d regretted all the years apart from Susannah.
‘I never did fall in love again,’ she said. ‘There were other women, sure. But none like Su.’
‘Why did you never try to get her to come back to New York?’
‘Oh boy, I tried, but her crazy mom made her stay. I couldn’t make her leave her mother. She was so loyal to her and her little nieces.’
‘But couldn’t you have stayed in Vinalhaven with Susannah?’ Emer continued to question her.
‘I said I would, but Su wouldn’t let me. Insisted I leave. I thought she didn’t want me any more.’ Ava sighed. ‘I was young and stupid. A love like ours doesn’t come twice in one life.’
As Ava talked, Emer couldn’t help thinking about Lars. The whole episode with Henry had made her realise that what she and Lars had found was so real, so rare, she shouldn’t turn her back on it.
‘I buried myself in my work,’ Ava said. ‘Poured all my passion into human rights.’
Once on the ferry, Ava had grown quiet. Gone to stand on the deck by herself and watch for the island. Emer could see the young woman within her more and more as they approached Vinalhaven. Her dark eyes, strong brows and chin.
As the ferry pulled in to the harbour, Ava took Emer’s hand.
‘You said she doesn’t know I’m coming. Do you think she’ll really want to see me now, when she’s so sick?’
‘Of course she will,’ Emer reassured her.
‘I’m frightened,’ Ava said, her hand shaking.
‘It’s going to be hard to see her so ill,’ Emer warned. ‘And I know I’m only the nurse, but please, you must go talk to her. Give her peace.’
‘Child, you are so much more than a nurse,’ Ava said, putting Emer’s hand to her face. ‘Indeed, I believe you must be an angel!’
Emer was stunned by Ava’s declaration. She found herself unable to speak, as tears choked her throat. Her sister had always been the angel, not her.
Emer had left Vinalhaven before Susannah had passed. The house had felt very full at that stage, and she knew it was time for her to go. She remembered her last
