Stacie followed Maria’s gaze and squinted at the dull, flat area, trying to see what Maria was envisioning. “I guess so.”
“Maybe a pond there? No. Not a pond, a fireplace. I bet the nights here are beautiful. All the stars in the universe above you,” Maria added, seemingly lost in her own thoughts now. When she looked up at Stacie, her vision seemed as far away as those stars, glittering with the light of an inner universe Stacie wasn’t sure she understood. Then she blinked and seemed to shift back to a more practical mode, one that Stacie was considerably more comfortable with. “And a garden. What I could do with a garden! Tomatoes and peppers and squash, not to mention the herbs and spices. You would not be so skinny then, hmm?”
Stacie flushed again. It wasn’t just the teasing, it was the quick once over Maria gave her. It was too speculative, too much like the practiced eye of the rancher checking over a beef cow to see if it was ready for the butcher. It made her feel gawky and awkward, and reminded her that she was prone to missing one too many meals unless Josie chased her down and fed her. Fattening me up so I’m presentable. Maria and Josie had become downright chummy over the last week, and it was pretty obvious she had been the subject of more than one conversation.
Retreat number two for the day occurred soon afterward. She was filthy and Maria was not, and that was completely unacceptable. She went in search of a fresh set of clothes and more towels, walking straight past her bed as if it wasn’t there with her eyes firmly on her goal, the closet. She would shower and dress in the bathroom. There was no need to risk another semi-clothed incident while a woman she couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of sat in her living room.
*
Fresh jeans and a button up western shirt, a quick brush through her hair and she felt ready to face her guest. She snapped her hair into a low pony tail on the way out. Unlike Maria, she didn’t have to use a hair dryer, and it was resistant to being anything but plain blonde, straight and boring. She shrugged, sighing. Considering her work schedule and way of life, that was just fine with her. At least it was wash and wear.
Maria was in the kitchen.
“Hey, I want to apologize for earlier,” she said. With her hands tucked into her jeans and hangdog expression, she was sure she looked as pathetic as she felt.
“Apologize? Whatever for?” Maria asked, dipping her finger into a steaming pot and quickly popping the digit in her mouth before turning around.
“I,” Stacie stopped. Her mouth opened and closed twice before she could formulate an answer. It felt like her mouth was full of cotton. Even a beer sounded good right then, at least it would be cool and wet and worth a minute or two of procrastination. “You know, I’m not even sure. All I know is that I can’t seem to stop wanting to touch you. It’s like I have no control over my hands…” she paused and let all of her pent up frustration bubble to the surface before continuing. “Or my thoughts, and you’ve seem to put up permanent residence there.”
One week. It had been one week since Josie had sent her on a day trip with Rowan in tow, and everything felt different. Everything was different. She was happy with her quiet little life. She had family here, people who cared about her, and a career in the community she grew up in.
“Does this make you unhappy? Me being here? In your thoughts.” Maria closed the distance between them. “Or within your reach?”
Stacie found it hard to swallow but she managed. Her heart was in her throat and it was beating way too fast for being out of its cage. It made her feel dizzy and lightheaded. “That’s not fair. I can’t think when you’re this close to me.”
“Believe me, the feeling is mutual.”
“Is it?” Stacie muttered, crossing her arms and glowering at the woman who stood there so placidly while trying to convince her she was just as lost as she was.
“You don’t believe me,” Maria stated flatly.
It was a statement not a question, but Stacie answered it anyway. “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem that hard for you to say no. The way I see it, you’re the one putting the brakes on now. Between that and Josie interfering left and right, I don’t know who’s pulling my strings right now.”
“I think I should go now,” Maria finally said after a long silence. “I’ll just get my things and be on my way.”
Stacie collapsed onto the couch and stared at the ceiling, hoping to find some answer in the subtle patterns there. She could here Maria moving around in the hall, and she emerged a moment later, fully dressed and ready to leave.
“Your dress is still damp.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s not very far to the house and I’ll be fine once I get in my car and turn the heat on,” Maria said.
“You don’t have to go.”
“Yes, I do. There’s chili on the stove, it’ll be done in about 30 minutes. Eat. It’ll do you good after this rain, and it shouldn’t be wasted.”
Stacie sighed and bowed her head. She couldn’t meet Maria’s gaze. Hot and angry, it blew over her like a dry wind, bringing with it a sense of emptiness.
“Stacie?” Maria entreated, then huffed in frustration when Stacie refused to look at her. “Fine. Just listen then. I’m leaving now because I need to. Everything you are feeling now? I feel the same. I don’t know how to explain why I have to leave, but
