Blimey, had it been a mess.
Brain and blood and guts painted the room in a sticky and morbid display of nastiness. That white stuff had lost its glow, now resembling wallpaper paste. I was now at my desk, searching some stuff via Paranormal Eyes. Dean was downstairs talking to the police. Our side of the canal had been closed down for the time being—just until things settled.
I dialed Parker’s number again. Nothing.
The poor bloated man had referred to a him. Was it Parker?
Footsteps on the stairs, the jingle of bangles.
Mila. I’d given her a briefing over the phone. She was still in the same outfit she’d been wearing this morning as she entered the office, remaining unbothered by the cold.
“Hallo once again,” she said. “What a dreadful situation.”
“Hi.”
“Give me one moment to restore the wards, though they will be useless until we discover the cause of this.”
“At least there’ll be some protection in place.”
“Indeed.”
She went about her business, placing down red charms. They cast swirls of red magic wherever they were placed, the energy absorbing into every wall, every corner.
It took her all of three minutes to get it done, then she sat opposite me at my desk, her posture like a queen holding court.
“Your perfume is amazing,” I said. It was floral, not overbearing, and smelled expensive.
“Thank you. My own concoction. Now, I gather these vials contain the offending substance?”
“Yeah, came from the victim’s boils. I think the boils were part of his pod-born nature, but not the swelling or this white stuff.”
She nodded. “I would accept that theory. You will need to come with me to the lab to test this.”
“Yeah. I just need to talk to Dean, and we’ll get it done.”
“Quite.” She held up a vial to the light. “It looks like semen.”
“I hope you’re wrong.”
“A pod-born with semen in his boils. That would be a new one. You didn’t swallow any when he went pop?”
Gross. I felt my face contort in disgust. “The door was closed.”
“Good. I would hate to think what pod-born semen could do, especially if it was glowing.”
“Yeah, I’m not gonna think too hard on that.”
“Be open to all possibilities, Jake.”
That was my cue to head downstairs. “I’ll be right back.”
She nodded, scrutinizing the possible pod-born joy juice. Somehow, I didn’t think the exploding guy had been having an orgasm. At least, I bloody hoped he wasn’t. Just a one-off opportunity to climax, then that’s your lot. Like a bee only gets one sting.
“Dean?” I said, stepping outside. He was talking to a female officer, and he turned to face me.
“Hey. You okay?”
I nodded. “Mila’s finished up.” I ushered him over to the side. “I’ve been ridiculous.”
“What do you mean?”
Man, it was so true. An epiphany had risen up between here and the vial of spunk.
It’s not spunk!
Could be!
Oh, shut the hell up!
I carried on talking. “You know, being all simpering and not wanting you to be alone. We always split up to cover more ground. That’s what we do. I mean, look at some of the shit we’ve seen over the years, and I’m all shaken up by some crazy Conclave hag? I’ve gotta stop this being a wimp bollocks.”
“You’re not a wimp. You’re worried about things.”
“Yeah, I’m a wimp. Hiding, potentially jeopardizing the case.”
“You’re not jeopardizing anything.”
“Let’s just do what we always do. Be careful, and catch the bad guy. I’ll go with Mila to the lab. You wait here until the goblins are done. I can link up with you back here or wherever.”
My anxiety spiked again, not wanting to leave him, but we had to split up to get things done. I couldn’t contradict the speech I’d just given him or undo the epiphany. This was the situation. To deal with it, I had to keep my PIA head firmly screwed on.
“Sounds good. Call me once you’re done.”
“I will.”
He tilted his head. “Give me a kiss.”
I obliged.
“You’re not a wimp, Jake.”
“I hate that she’s got under my skin.”
“We’ll stop her and anyone who follows her.”
“I tried Parker again.”
“Voicemail?”
“Yep.”
The sound of bangles behind me. “Are you ready, Jake?” Mila asked.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” I replied over my shoulder.
“I’ll see you later,” Dean said. “Keep me posted.”
“Yeah.” I gave him a peck and headed for my bike.
“I shall meet you there,” Mila said.
“You can climb on the back if you like,” I offered.
“Does this outfit look as if it travels by such means of transport?”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Good to see you understand the complexities of fashion. Now go. I will call a taxi.”
I didn’t bring up my past as a model and my absolute understanding of fashion. It would only open a can of worms I was so not in the mood to see wriggling around.
Mila’s lab was in a house over Geldersekade, not far from Nieuwmarkt. I pulled up outside. She was already waiting there with the door open behind her.
“Wow, that was quick,” I said as I approached.
“Faster than your bike, it appears.”
Passive-aggressive much? I didn’t believe she got a taxi. She was an alchemist. Bet she had some teleporting potion she hadn’t told us about.
I followed her inside, passing through the empty house. No one lived here, the curtains on the windows never open. It was dark, spider webs all in the latticework of the banister. I’d never been upstairs and didn’t have the desire to change that. Too many bugs would live up there. I got the vibes.
“Don’t you ever worry about pods making these spiders grow?” I asked, closing the door behind me.
“Are you referring to the incident involving that blue spider?”
“What the hell? Dean told you that too?”
“I found it rather amusing.” By the stern expression on her face, I’d never have bleedin’ guessed it!
“I’ll kill him.”
“We simply cannot go around removing spiders from our houses when they have just as much entitlement to live there as we do.”
“Yeah, rent-free.”
“They serve a valuable purpose.”
“I know that.” Why did I feel like I was the naughty schoolboy, her the battle-ax head
