Bram, I’ll take every single shitty memory without you, if it means I get to keep the whole nesting doll.
Happy anniversary, B.
Love,
(Here you go, I’m doing this just for you, you dork.)
Jacques
FROM: SIMONIRVINSPIER@GMAIL.COM
TO: LEAHONTHEOFFBEAT@GMAIL.COM
DATE: FEB 10 AT 7:15 PM
SUBJECT: RE: EVERYTHING GOOD?
Hey! Sorry it took me a second to sit down and write back to this. Just wanted to thank you and Abby again for checking in on me (your voice memo was so freaking cute)! But seriously, I’m totally fine! Just pretty much getting back into the swing of things. Kellan and Grover have been in Annapolis all weekend for early Valentine’s Day, so I’ve had the room to myself! They should be back any minute, though, assuming they weren’t overly haunted by any “ghostly entities” from their bed-and-breakfast. (Okay, but serious question: If the ghostly entity never shows up, does that mean it . . . ghosted them??)
Other than that, it’s just business as usual, and classes are busy but good!! Unfortunately, my enemy from Intro Psych who doesn’t know he’s my enemy is now continuing his reign of terror and misogyny in Research Methods and Stats. But he got his ass handed to him during lab last week by this really soft-spoken nonbinary kid named Skyler, and it was all so beautiful to watch!
Oh my god, Leah, I can’t believe the size of your classes!! I can’t even fathom it. Is it overwhelming going to school with that many people? I wonder about that sometimes. Do you end up mostly running into the same people, or is it just kind of big and sprawling? I guess in a way, it would be like living in a big city or something? I don’t know. I’m just curious. And is it easier since Abby’s there?
But I do feel like I’m finally getting to know people here!! My customs group has been doing lots of game nights lately (they’re really into Taboo—which would be amazing, except I’m SO much better at it when I play with you guys!). And I’m kind of an a cappella groupie now! Not really, I’ve just been helping them with their website, but it’s been so cool, and I’ve gotten to sit in on some of their rehearsals (it’s this all-girl group called the Outskirts, and two of my hallmates are in it, and they’re SO GOOD, Leah. Look them up. They’re on YouTube)!
Not much planned for Valentine’s Day—I think we’re probably just going to eat dinner in our rooms and FaceTime! What about you (i.e., what has Abby talked you into so far)?
Anyway, it was really good to talk to you the other day, and I’m sorry again that I’ve been so off the grid lately!! And tell Abby I’ll reply to her soon, I promise, but also you can share this email with her if you want so she knows I’m fine! Okay, I love and miss you guys a lot!!!!
FROM: LEAHONTHEOFFBEAT@GMAIL.COM
TO: ABBYSUSO710@GMAIL.COM
DATE: FEB 11 AT 10:04 AM
SUBJECT: FWD: RE: EVERYTHING GOOD?
Yeah, I’m pretty fucking concerned, actually. Like, that is . . . an aggressively upbeat email. And I’m impressed that he managed to use infinity exclamation points, but . . . I’m not really buying the whole everything’s-fine-here schtick?
I don’t know, maybe I’m overreacting. Do we think this is just chaotic Simon being chaotic? Or is this chaotic depressed Simon in the midst of an unprecedented downward spiral, the depths of which he is both unable and, for some reason, unwilling to fully communicate?? I swear to god. SIMON, YOU KNOW EVERY WORD TO EVERY GODDAMN ELLIOTT SMITH SONG. How is it this hard for him to talk about sadness?
And he still hasn’t replied to the other email, of course, but it’s not even just that. It’s the fact that he hasn’t even acknowledged it, other than thanking me for handling things with the ride operator. But nothing since then, Abby. He hasn’t even mentioned it in a text. It’s kind of freaking me out. He’s normally so open with me.
Abby, what do we do??
FROM: ABBYSUSO710@GMAIL.COM
TO: LEAHONTHEOFFBEAT@GMAIL.COM
DATE: FEB 11 AT 10:24 AM
SUBJECT: RE: FWD: RE: EVERYTHING GOOD?
Hold up, getting my fake Word document into position . . . wait for it . . . and . . .
Okay! So yeah, Simon’s definitely NOT giving off the chill vibes he thinks he is, but I also don’t know that we’re in “unprecedented downward spiral” territory? LOL. I think he’s just missing Bram a lot, and maybe trying to distract himself and stay positive. And I guess he’s trying to keep us from worrying about him (and yeah, it probably would have landed better with about twenty fewer exclamation points, but Simon’s pretty exclaim-y in general, don’t you think?).
But I get why you’re worried. And I get the impression it’s less about this particular Simon-on-crack email (god, the ghost pun), and more about the email he hasn’t replied to. I’m reading between the lines a little, maybe, but Leah . . . you don’t feel like you pushed Simon into an unprecedented downward spiral, right? I don’t care what you wrote in that email. If Simon’s depressed or spiraling or confused right now, that’s because of whatever chemical or situational stuff he’s dealing with. Maybe both! And yeah, I think it’s a good idea to keep checking in on him, but don’t let this haunt you, okay (or “overly haunt” you—wtf does that even mean, Simon? Is there some known acceptable haunting level? SMDH, truly, what are we going to do with that boy??).
Okay, shifting gears for a second, because as you may have noticed, it’s February 11th, which means you and I desperately need to talk about the big VD (NOT the big venereal disease, Burke, don’t even try me). So here’s the deal, my cynical misanthrope of a girlfriend: I hereby challenge you to a single round of Valentine Cliché Bingo.
The rules are as
