And so I started writing a mail to him. This was one of those moments that you could either go with, or not. Ignore any possible consequences and just live in the moment. Bad idea? Horrific idea? Good idea? I had no clue, but I was just doing it!
I read over the mail a few more times, blood pumping through my veins, adrenalin rushing through me with such intensity that it was almost making me shake. My fingers hovered over the send button for what felt like hours, until I eventually just closed my eyes and pressed send.
This was it. No taking it back now.
What the hell was I doing?
Mike
I stared at my computer screen in absolute shock as an email popped into my inbox. It took me a few moments to register what the hell was going on, and when I finally did, my lower jaw felt like it disconnected itself from my skull and hit the floor. WTF!
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your search is over.
Message: I believe you've been looking for me?
I stared at it for a moment or two in absolute disbelief before deciding that it was just Brett playing some cruel, fucking elaborate prank on me. Dick!
Subject: Brett....
Message: ... are you fucking with me?
From: [email protected]
Subject: My name is not Brett
Message: Mike, I'm so terribly offended that you don't believe me. What do I have to do to convince you?
My heart started pounding. Pounding...not the right word. What was the right word? If I had any breathe left in my lungs I might have been able to say it out loud, but I didn't. My hands shook as I brought them down to the keys and started typing again.
Subject: Prove it!
Message: Tell me in detail what happened at the party?
I pressed send and I sat. It felt like the email took an eternity to come through. With each passing second I grew more and more anxious. At some stage it just all became too much to bear and I had to get up and pace across my room a few times. I wanted it to be her so badly. So, so badly. I needed it to be her at this point.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Proof
Message: That terrible song by Katy Perry was playing when all the lights went out. I ran up to you in the dark and put my right hand on your chest and I kissed you. I tasted of mint and cinnamon and you tasted of cigarette smoke and you must have just had a beer, because there was a slight malty flavor on your lips. You didn't respond for a few seconds, and then you wrapped your arm around me and pulled me closer. Your right hand slipped under my top and you put it on my back and I shivered. I haven't been able to think of anything else since then.
P.s I also left something behind in your mouth. X
My heart leap into my brain and started beating there until it had pushed any and all cognitive thoughts out. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't think at all. I was only feeling as I wrote back to her.
Subject: I've been thinking about it too... and I want to do it again.
Message: Please tell me who you are?
There was another long gap between the mails and I didn't know why, or how, but I could sense her grappling with the decision to tell me or not. It was weird, but for some reason I felt close to her. It was as if we knew each other. There was something so familiar about her, yet utterly mysterious at the same time. She was like the word that's on the tip of your tongue that you just can't remember.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Patience is a virtue
Message: Mike, I don't think you're ready to know who I am yet.
Subject: Patience is over rated
Message: I'm so ready to know who you are, trust me.
From: [email protected]
Subject: I KNOW YOU MIKE MATTHEWS
Message: I know exactly how you work. I know exactly what type of guy you are. You've dated every hot blond at your school and I bet you've never bother to get to know any of them... really know them.
Subject: I want to know you
Message: Maybe that was true. But it's not anymore. I want to know you. I want to know everything about you.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Not convinced
Message: You're going to have to prove to me that you are a changed man.
Subject: Done.
Message: I'll do anything you want me to do, just as long as I get to kiss you again.
There was another long pause and for a moment I regretted what I'd just said. Maybe I'd been too forward and had just chased her away? But then another email popped into my box.
From: [email protected]
Subject: X
Message: This will have to do for now.
Subject: XX
Message: I prepared to wait.
From: [email protected]
Subject: XXX
Message: You're going to have to. Goodnight Mike.
Subject: XXX
Message: Good night mystery mint kisser and sweet dreams. I know I'll be having them tonight.
And with that, I closed my computer. The biggest smile broke out across my face and I couldn't imagine anything in the world that could possibly wipe it away.
Maria
I woke up with a fat smile on my face and an actual lightness in my step – not the metaphorical kind. I practically threw myself out of bed and if I knew how to pirouette, I would have.
Last night had been one of those big moments.
