In the back of my mind I knew that this thing was probably going to come back to bite me. I knew it would probably backfire and explode and shatter into a million hot, fiery pieces. But I felt so good right now that I was fully prepared to ignore the possible consequences of what I had just started. To ignore the fact that I had just dug and even bigger hole for myself and told an even bigger lie. All that didn't seem to matter right now in the face of this tingly, glow-y amazing giddy feeling that I was high one.
All I cared about was continuing to tell Mike how much I wanted to kiss him and the best part, was having him say it back to me. So YES, right now, I was just going to blindly ignore the niggling thoughts in the back of my mind that told me this thing was all going to blow up like Hiroshima at some point. This thing was probably going to end one way... and that was with me getting hurt.
But it felt so fucking good right now that I was just going to go with it. I bet that's what people say just before they become crack addicts?
Not even McKenzie's driving fazed me that morning, despite her swerving to miss the curb and not seeing a big, bright red stop sign. I'd noticed that lately McKenzie was being particularly "McKenzie" to me. She usually ripped me off, gave me shit and made my life at home a misery. But lately, she'd been particularly narky and sarcastic. Especially when I'd walked downstairs this morning wearing my 'Welcome down under' shirt that had a Koala bear on.
She'd looked up from her low fat, low taste, low calorie, low- low muffin thing and cringed.
"God, it would be vaguely acceptable if you were wearing that shirt ironically, but your not, so it's not acceptable."
I ignored her, because nothing could put a damper on my mood. And what did that mean anyway? Wearing the shirt ironically? Who wears clothes ironically, I was obviously not cool enough to know about things like that.
"Your sister is right Maria," My mother joined in now. "It's got a hole in the sleeve, you don't want people at school thinking we can't afford to buy you new clothes."
I scoffed loudly at both of them. "Trust me, no one at school could ever doubt your ability to buy clothes."
"Can't you at least wear something that doesn't have a hole?"
"Don't judge me just because I don't want to dress like I am entering a beauty pageant every day."
My sister and mother clocked each other in blatant aesthetic disapproval. They even rolled their eyes and tutted loudly. Then a slightly wicked, demonic looked flashed in my evil twins eyes, "Plus you don't want the guys to get the wrong idea about you," She paused, "Welcome down under."
"MacKenzie!" My mother screeched in shock as she cottoned onto the not so subtle innuendoes that she was throwing around. "You can't talk like that! And certainly not at the breakfast table."
I smirked to myself and wondered what made a breakfast table a less appropriate place to say things like that than say a lounge, or a TV room.
"Sorry Maria." She tossed the halfhearted apology at me. But I just shrugged. Like I said, nothing was getting me down today.
I was freakishly nervous and excited to see Mike and I wondered how he was feeling after last night. I knew the answer though the second I saw him. He had a dopey looking stupid smile smeared from ear to ear and he was checking his phone constantly. I walked up to him and stood there, also beaming.
"Okay, I know why I am so happy today. Why are you so happy?" He asked.
I quickly wiped the smile off my face. "No reason." I knew that I had to play this smart. I had to appear percent normal. Every day Maria, even if nothing felt normal anymore. And in a situation like this, I would probably ask him why he was so happy.
"So what's got you smiling like an idiot?" Good Maria, keep up the slightly disinterested, mildly sarcastic best friend act that I usually have.
"She got hold of me last night!" He looked like a three-year-old about to plunge face first into a river of molten chocolate.
"Who did?" I played dumb. It was a good touch I thought.
"What do you mean? Who? The only person in the world right now that matters, the person I want more than anything to find and contact."
Jeez. Okay. Hammer to stomach. Ego officially crushed and smashed. I picked up my pace and walked ahead of him. He must have known that he had offended me because I felt his arm pull mine. I stopped and turned.
"You know what I mean. Other then you. You're still my number one girl."
"Thanks. But you'll probably cast me aside when you find her."
His eyes widened with surprise, "When have I ever cast you aside when I had a girlfriend?"
"Never. But this one seems different."
He looked like he was seriously considering this. "She is different. But it won't change anything between us," he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer, "Dude, we better get to class."
Dude. There he goes again...
*
"Is this seat taken?" I felt Mike slide into the seat next to me in the cafeteria.
"Nope." I shook my head and suddenly I felt his face by my ear, almost touching
