I thought about climbing into my window and hiding in my bedroom until he went home, but the bubbling anger that I was starting to feel as I looked at his car and imagined him in our house, made me want to confront the man. In fact, I felt like a good fight right about now!
I marched into the front door and my parents were sitting around the kitchen table drinking coffee. As if nothing had happened. My mother was clearly a good pretender. If I were her, I would not be able to have him anywhere near me.
My dad shot out of his seat and walked over to me. "i still haven't had a chance to congratulate you. You played a great game today, son." He never called me son. It was as if he thought placing the word 'son' in his sentences would make up for what he had done.
"Mmmm. What are you doing here?" I asked flatly, grabbing a cup of coffee and slurping it down.
"Well, I wanted to know what the scout said, we both did." He looked to mom and she nodded with a smile. Remind me, was this the same woman that had been falling apart just a few days ago.
I shrugged. "He offered me a scholarship and offered me a place at St. Martin's."
"What?" They were both out of their seats now.
"That's wonderful!" My dad said reaching out for a hug. Not giving it to him!
My mom jumped in, "It's everything you've worked towards."
"Yup!"
My parents both looked at me curiously. Psychologist looks where being tossed around the room. God, predictable. Now I was in for a good psychoanalysis. I sat down, folded my arms defiantly and waited for it.
"Why aren't you more excited?" My mom sat again and reached over for my hand. They had both become so touchy-feely since the separation. Compensation?
"You are going to take it, right?"
"St. Martins has the best Tennis couch in the country basically and you've always wanted to go there. And as for college...well, so many professionals have graduated there."
I shrugged. This was actually the last thing on my mind right now. I had more important things to think about that hotting a yellow ball about on a court. I'd worked so hard for this, but right now, it felt trivial in the grand scheme of things, i.e Maria.
There was an expectant pause as both my parents stared at me. "Mike?" My mother pressed. "You are going to take this..."
I shrugged. "Don't know."
"But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!"
"But it means changing schools half way into the year." Something I was not prepared to do.
"But they are better equipped to prepare you for college tennis, and every one who is anyone in tennis dreams of going there." My mother looked confounded. I didn't blame her, this was what I had always wanted. I think....
"Mike?" My dad now sat at the table. I hated it. It reminded me of how things used to be. Us, sitting around the table, clearly pretending to play 'happy family'. Since it was all a big fat lie.
"I don't know if it's what I want anymore!"
An echo of shocked 'whats' slammed into me from all directions now. It was hard to distinguish who the hell was even speaking. More words and phrases being thrown my way....
"Opportunity on a silver platter..."
"Throwing a gift away..."
"Giving up on dream...."
"Waste...."
"Bad idea..."
God, I wanted the vomit of words to stop. They were not helpful at this stage and only making me feel worse.
"No doubt this has something to do with Maria!" My dad sounded distinctly sarcastic, and the sound of Maria's name coming out of his mouth pissed me off more than I can explain. I jumped out of my seat, almost knocking the coffee as I went.
"Don't you dare say her name!" I yelled.
"Mike... I know you think you're in love..."
"THINK!?" I screamed. "Think?"
"But you're young, you have you're whole life ahead of you and - " My dad continued, and my rage grew.
"What would you know about love. You cheated on mom, I would say that qualifies you as the last person on earth to give relationship advice! Just leave me alone."
I marched upstairs and into my bedroom. I needed to get away from him before I did something that I might regret... like hit him. Yeah, yeah he's my dad. But that title needs to be earned. Not just given.
I thought about Maria. I thought about calling her. I thought about talking to her. I thought about kissing her. But I couldn't. And I didn't even know where she was.
The fight between us all seemed so insignificant now. My dad was wrong. I did love her. It was real.
I tried to imagine what Maria would say when she found out about the scholarships. But I didn't have to think about it very hard, I knew exactly what she'd say. She'd want me to go. She always wanted the best for me, her love had never been selfish.
Should I go-
I cut that thought off immediately. There was no way I was going. None! Maria was my priority now, everything had changed.
Maria
*Again, writing quickly, will come back and edit mistakes and typos!
It was : am in the morning. I'd been staring at my computer screen for hours. A million tabs were open.
Booking flights.
Booking Accomodation.
Booking train trips.
Booking, booking booking.
I was at the final stage with all of them. Card and payment details entered, all I had to do was press 'pay'. Then the email would come through to me, confirming that I had booked my entire trip around the world, starting next year. By myself. No Mike.
I sighed loudly.
