And I can feel him staring at me. Watching me talk to her. And I have to help him in this moment. I want to help him. And I want to help her. If she would just listen to me. If she would just give this a chance. I’m going to do that. I’m going to make it all better.
“He cried that night, Ali. Did I ever tell you that? That he cried. Actual tears after that whole thing between you two.”
ALI
“Blythe, I’m here with Raj and Sammi. I don’t want to—”
But Blythe doesn’t shut up. I keep trying to talk, but she cuts me off. She overpowers me.
She says something about Sean Nessel crying. Sean crying. She harps on about Sean crying.
BLYTHE
“Oh, Sammi. I know Sammi,” I say, waving her over. “Cherie’s little sister. Wow, Cherie has really changed this year since going to college. Look at my dress. Do you love my dress?” I lean into Ali. Take her face in my hands. “I’m not wearing a bra. I’m wearing pasties over my nipples. Can you believe it? This top part is an actual corset. I’m Marie fucking Antoinette.”
I twirl for her. I hop up and down to the music. I’m feeling so good and I want something good to happen tonight. So good that I can’t escape it. Is that so wrong to ask? Is it so simple to just say that?
ALI
“My brain hurts from this,” Sammi says. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
“You’re not walking away from me,” I say.
“Why? I can predict what’s going to happen.”
I see the hurt in Sammi’s face again. I’ve been so distant and clammed up and now she’s so uncomfortable. Her arms across her chest—she’s in a Supergirl outfit. I want her to save me. But I don’t know how to ask her. I don’t know where to begin.
“I’m walking away. Now. I’m not leaving the dance. I won’t leave without you. You can find me later once this whole thing is over.”
And I let Sammi walk away. I’m too stunned to grab her hand, too paralyzed to move. I let it happen. Blythe, standing there in front of me, controlling the whole thing.
Raj turns to me. “Let’s get out of here.”
But I can’t speak. I can’t budge. I’m swollen shut here. If I move, I’ll cry. I’ll scream. Maybe I’ll fall down. I don’t know. It’s safer to stand still.
BLYTHE
I slide up to Sean. “This is the moment,” I whisper. “This is when you have to make your move. You have to apologize. Say you’re sorry and mean it. It has to pour from your soul. Do you understand me?”
He nods.
I take his hand, his large hand, and he wraps his fingers around my fingers. Dev is right there, right behind him, just ten feet. But that’s not what it’s about now. It’s about Ali. Sean. Making it better for him and Ali. That’s all I’m doing. Helping them.
ALI
I’m looking in four places at once. It’s dizzy around me. There’s an echo, like the music’s too loud, but that can’t be it because we’re not even near the music now.
Sean Nessel. The ten different faces of Sean Nessel. Him on top of me. If I hadn’t had that vodka. If I hadn’t talked to him that day in the hallway. If I hadn’t made that stupid collage book of him.
I stare at the floor. It’s the only way I can hold it together. To focus on this gray floor.
Raj is talking to me, but I can’t hear him. I just shake my head. “No.” I say. But I don’t even know what I’m saying no to.
BLYTHE
Sean’s hand in mine. Everything feels right. I’m going to make this good. I’m going to erase Ali’s pain.
ALI
I look for a break in the crowd, but more people just keep meandering toward us because Blythe is the North Star. People just want to get closer to her.
I hear Donnie and Suki cackling behind me.
Blythe rushes back to me. “I have the answer to everything!”
BLYTHE
I let go of Sean to catch Ali, but she slips away, like her skin is too smooth. Oily or something. And so I vise-grip her. I’m not going to let go of her. I’m going to make everything better.
ALI
Sean Nessel’s eyes target me. I look down. Back to the gray floor.
I want to escape. But Blythe clutches me like I’m on a short leash.
I tug on her dress, though there’s not much there to hold on to except for the bottom of her dreess. It’s like thin handkerchiefs. It’s like air.
“Let go of me, Blythe.”
BLYTHE
There’s a yanking on my dress, as if there’s a small child below me, and when I turn I see Ali. She’s taken hold of my dress and is drawing me close to her. Or is she trying to push me away? Her eyes are wild. She’s incensed.
“Blythe, let go of me.” She spits. A monster erupts from her. Her shoulders are crouched. Her cheeks quiver. I look down, and I’m thinking, My dress. She’s going to rip my dress. The words stick to my tongue because everything is happening so fast.
“Let go of my hand now or I’m going to kill you,” Ali says.
I look down at my hand wrapped around her wrist. I didn’t even know it was there.
My fingers repel from her skin.
Her contorted face glares back at me.
ALI
Kill comes out of my mouth flippantly. Racing in my chest.
I’ll wrap my hands around her neck if I have to. I can feel it.
Blythe turns to me, a sharp inhale, and when she exhales it’ll be fire, I know, but I don’t flinch. She edges toward me so that our faces are almost touching, then peels my fingers off her dress.
BLYTHE
“You’re going to kill me?”
“Wait, she’s going to kill
