“I told you about my ex and how he was an asshole and all that,” I said. “But I’m not sure to what extent you understood how dangerous he is. He’s not just an ass, Nick. He’s an abusive ass.”
Nick pursed his lips, his grip on the glass in front of him tightening.
“Part of the reason I’m here in the Bay Area is because when he finally went to jail for everything he did, I knew that nothing would change him. He could fake his way and charm his way through anything and anyone, but the demon inside of him would never go away. I had to get out of Southern California, and I couldn’t tell anyone where I was going. So without much notice, I moved up here where my parents are. And for a while, it worked. But about a month and a half ago, I learned that Malcolm got out early, apparently on ‘good behavior.’”
“That’s fucking bullshit.”
“It is. But at the time, while it scared me, I also had a feeling that I didn’t have anything to worry about that much. After all, I was at least a couple hours’ worth of a plane ride away. And even then, it’s not like this is a small area. But…”
We both sighed at the same time. It would have been kind of cute if not for the seriousness of the situation.
“I don’t even mind that the world knows I was with you. But I mind that Malcolm knows I was with you.”
“Because he knows now that you must be in the Bay Area,” he said. “Those fucking scumbags. If they know what’s going on, I mean, they’re generally heartless sociopaths, but even they are going to recognize—”
But now, strangely enough, it was my turn to put Nick at ease. I reached over and grabbed his hand. For having not touched him at all since that night, and for having had so many doubts in the month since that spanned his spring training, it felt surprisingly natural, like I was supposed to hold him like so.
“I know you’ll do what you can,” I said. “The important thing is that you feel safe. And I owe you an apology for this, too. The reason I was so…I guess you could say distant, was that I just didn’t know how it would work, you as a public figure and me trying to be as private as possible. But now, it has happened. The worst-case scenario is literally unfolding with the world. And…I feel safest here.”
Nick laughed nervously.
“Thanks, I think?” he said.
“You’re welcome,” I said, giving a short giggle. “For real, though, I feel so safe here. My kid is with my parents. For at least tonight, I’m safe.”
“Well, I think we can both cheers to that,” Nick said, holding up his glass.
And with that, we had our first sip of alcohol for the evening. It made no difference to me whether it was the first or the last, because with an appreciative and good mood came a general creeping arousal that made me sure where this was going to wind up sooner rather than later. I didn’t need booze to give me liquid courage for something practically inevitable.
“It was the craziest thing,” I said. “When I saw the article, I just felt like Malcolm would somehow come up here immediately. That was ridiculous, of course.”
“Not ridiculous,” Nick said, which made me feel strangely comforted—like he sincerely was empathetic.
“Well, my boss was kind enough to tell me to go home. So I went to the daycare and picked up my son. And wouldn’t you know it, I get there, and Ryan goes, ‘I saw Daddy.’ And I started to panic, but when I think about it logically, I recognize that there’s no way he did.”
This time, Nick just kept silent, sipping his wine, listening closely to what I had to say.
“Even if Malcolm had made his way up to the Bay Area, the odds of him landing on the exact daycare that I had sent Ryan to are just so small. I keep thinking it was a song or someone who looked like him. The daycare staff assured me that everything would be fine. I just…”
Nick placed his wine on the table, stood up, came behind my chair, and started giving me a massage. Oh, holy fuck, that felt so good. His fingers were thick and incredibly strong, able to burrow deep into my tense muscles, kneading and rubbing them such that it felt like he was massaging my bones.
“Ohhhhh.”
I didn’t say a word for what felt like a good minute. One, this massage felt so good I didn’t know if I could actually form complete sentences while getting rubbed like this. Two, it felt like it would interrupt the tension of the moment if I did.
And three, and perhaps most importantly, this was getting me more and more aroused by the second.
“Nick…” I said breathlessly.
Then his hand went onto my head, his fingers running through my hair and along my scalp. I had never had anyone massage me like so, but heavens, that felt fucking amazing. I closed my eyes and leaned back, resting my head on his stomach. Both hands went to the sides of my head, and I felt like I’d reached the state of bliss known as Nirvana.
“Feel better?”
“Mmhmm,” I murmured, still keeping my eyes closed.
“Only awkward part is you being in a chair,” Nick said.
I know exactly why you’re saying that. And I am all for it.
I opened my eyes, stood up, and turned to him. I didn’t see the athlete,
