Gilda nodded, but she didn’t look at Justin. She was reliving the kiss they had shared. In order to distract herself, she picked up the woolen cap and started to cover her hair.
“Don’t do that, Gilda.” Justin’s plea was hoarse with emotion, and she put away the cap.
“I can’t believe Philip would sneak off like that,” she said.
When Justin didn’t answer, she asked, “What are we going to do?”
“Hope he returns. We can’t do anything else until morning. I can’t find my way out of here in the dark, and even if I could, I wouldn’t know where to go. If he doesn’t come back, I’m not sure what we should do. I keep thinking that if I hadn’t let him know I doubted his word about Lady Mariel, he might not have run away.”
“You have no reason to blame yourself, Justin. I know you don’t think he’ll return, but try to see things from his point of view. Cedric is going to be making accusations against him and his connection to Mariel. No doubt Philip wants to find Lady Emma and tell her about what is happening. After loving her since he was ten, he has finally convinced her to return his love, and he won’t want to risk losing what he has gained.”
Justin took her hand. “You have a great deal of faith in people, Gilda. Do you really believe that Lady Emma, who from what we have heard is at least ten years older than Philip, is the love of his life?”
“It’s very possible. There is no lack of examples of couples who seem hopelessly mismatched but share a deep love for each other.” Gilda looked at her small hand lying in his large one and thought about their own case. Did Justin love her? she wondered. “Let’s find something more to eat,” she whispered.
Holding her hand tightly, Justin ignored her request. “You are a fanciful person, Gilda. I haven’t known many couples who share the type of devotion you speak of.”
“What about my brother Chetwynd and your sister Isabel? You know them.”
“Yes, I know them. But there is nothing mismatched about your brother and my sister. The puzzling thing about them is they took so long to find each other.”
Gilda nodded her agreement and relaxed. The mismatched couple she wished to discuss was the nun and the diplomat, but she was afraid of where that discussion might lead. “Perhaps we should talk of something else to pass the time.”
“You really think that might help?”
“No, and neither will eating. Maybe we should try and sleep. It’s a long time until morning,” she pointed out.
“If I promise to do nothing more than hold you, will you lie in my arms?”
Gilda hesitated briefly, then turned her back and moved closer to him. Justin fitted his body to hers, pulling her close so that she curled into him. Her head tucked neatly under his chin, and when he draped his arm over her stomach, his elbow rested on her hip. It was heaven to hold her, and he knew it would be torture to keep his promise, but he wouldn’t change a thing. It felt right.
When Justin awoke, sunlight was seeping into the cottage from the edge of the window covering. He couldn’t believe he had fallen asleep. The last thing he remembered was hearing Gilda’s steady breathing and feeling her body relax as she nodded off.
Without moving, Justin took stock of how he was holding her. His hand was now cupping her breast. As he became aware of his own arousal, he knew he should pull back before Gilda woke up. Instead he closed his eyes and concentrated on all the places their bodies touched and the heat that touching generated. He told himself that if he moved, he would wake her, and she needed her sleep.
At the same time, he worried about what she would think when she did awake and felt his stiff member resting against her bottom. Perhaps she wouldn’t notice, he reasoned. She was a nun, unfamiliar with the workings of a man’s body.
But Gilda was not dull-witted. Helping abused and cast-off wives, she was bound to have picked up a great deal of knowledge about men. Justin gently lifted his hand from her breast and moved his body slowly away from hers.
When cool air replaced the warmth at her back, Gilda turned toward the retreating heat source. Blinking open her eyes, she saw Justin pulling away from her. She reached out her hand and placed it at the side of his face. “Where are you going?” she asked.
“It’s morning. We should get up.” He turned his mouth into her hand and kissed her palm.
“Hmmmm. I had such a lovely dream,” she said.
“Did you?” Her half-closed eyes and languid smile were impossible to resist. He pulled her against him again. “What did you dream, Gilda?”
“I dreamed of the way you kissed me when I woke you in the middle of the night. You’d never kissed me like that before. In my dream it was like your whole body was kissing me.”
“Do you realize what you’re saying?” he whispered against her temple.
“Show me, Justin. Show me what it’s like to be together with you like that.” She lifted her face, offering her lips.
It would have been so easy to do what she asked. Justin certainly wanted to. But he knew Gilda wasn’t fully awake, and he remembered how easy it was to lose control in that state. It wasn’t that he doubted the fact that she wanted him, it was just that he feared she would be sorry if he allowed her to give in to her desire. She had never been with a man, and she might regret it later. Her brother had been right to warn him that he must be careful.
“We can’t do this, Gilda.” His words fell upon her like a bucket of cold water.
Forcing herself
