“Look at me, Gilda. We need to talk about this. It’s important that we reach some decision about our future before we let our emotions drag us where we aren’t ready to go. Can’t you look at me?”
“No, not at this moment. I’m going outside.”
Gilda scrambled up and was gone before he could say another word. He had done the right thing, he told himself. Two days ago, he had thought he could make love to her and that would be the end of it. She seemed eager to learn what love was about, and he was certainly eager to show her. But now he wanted more. It wasn’t just her body he wanted last night as they lay together in front of the fire. He wanted to talk to her, comfort her, and share a future with her. But he wasn’t sure she wanted the same thing. She had made no secret of the fact that her life as a nun suited her.
Gilda was gone so long that Justin was about to go look for her when the door opened. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the wide smile on her face, but in the next minute he realized the reason for her happiness, and it had nothing to do with him. Philip was behind her.
“Where did you go?” Justin demanded harshly at the same time as he saw that Philip wasn’t alone.
The woman beside Philip seemed taken aback by the bark of Justin’s greeting. She stood as tall as Philip, and strands of russet hair hung below her head covering. In spite of the fact that she was a beautiful woman, the way she hung back, holding Philip’s hand, gave the impression that she was the shyer of the two.
“I had to speak with Lady Emma,” Philip explained. “I left without telling you because I wasn’t sure you’d let me go. Lord Justin, this is Lady Emma, daughter of Lord Metcalf.”
“My lady,” Justin said, nodding his head. Sensing her fear, and knowing he was to blame, he tried to put her at ease. “I hope you don’t mind that we used one of your cottages for the evening.”
She shook her head but still didn’t say anything. Philip spoke for her. “Emma was pleased we stayed here. When we met Sister Gilda outside, we told her that we have brought some fresh bread and cheese for breakfast.”
“That would explain the pleased expression on Sister Gilda’s face,” Justin replied, determined to make up for his earlier harsh greeting.
Emma relaxed enough to say, “Thank you for rescuing Philip from the dungeon, Lord Justin.” She looked at Philip’s battered face with a sad expression.
“Sister Freda and Sister Gilda tended his wounds,” Justin pointed out.
Gilda slipped past him and bent to pick up her cap as Lady Emma, her eyes wide, watched. Philip must have explained the situation to her, but the lady clearly didn’t know what to make of a nun dressed as a lad.
Emma seemed fascinated by the sight of Gilda’s hair disappearing under the cap. “Are you really a nun?” she asked Gilda.
“I am. I’m only dressed this way because we needed to leave Mainz quickly. I imagine Philip told you the circumstances.”
“Yes. Philip explained. But I was expecting . . .” Emma paused as she searched for the right words. “I guess I expected you to be different.”
It was clear to Justin that what she meant was she didn’t expect to find a beautiful woman. Before he could suggest that Emma return home before she was missed, Philip spoke up, urging the same thing.
“Emma, you should probably get back before Lord Metcalf discovers your absence,” he said, appearing nervous as he realized how interested Emma was in Sister Gilda.
Lady Emma smiled at him, but she seemed in no hurry and all signs of shyness had disappeared. She spoke again to Gilda. “You have a lot of freedom for a nun. I didn’t realize nuns could travel about as you are doing.”
“In spite of what you see, I don’t travel about dressed as a lad,” Gilda said. “But it’s not at all unusual for nuns to travel in our work.”
“You have more freedom than I have, Sister Gilda. I’ve never been away from my father’s manor,” Emma said. Then another thought seemed to occur to her. “You don’t have to worry about your father deciding to marry you off to someone you have no interest in marrying. You are fortunate, Sister Gilda.”
“That’s true,” Gilda replied with a smile.
“What’s it like being a nun?” Emma asked.
As she thought about how to answer, Gilda became aware of the two men watching her. She knew Justin didn’t understand her life as a nun any more than Emma did. She wanted them both to know how she became a nun and why she loved it.
“My father didn’t send me to the convent to be a nun, but rather as a young girl to be educated. As I grew older, I began to teach other younger girls who came from all parts of the empire. That was an education in itself. Listening to their tales, I learned almost as much as I taught. When my father decided it was time I married, I told him I wished to stay at the convent. He wasn’t pleased with my decision, but the abbess convinced him that it was the life for me.”
As Gilda talked, she forgot the men watching and concentrated on Emma. “Perhaps the greatest advantage of being a nun is being free from the dictates of a father or husband. I understand that your father wishes you to marry Count Cedric.”
“Yes. But I have no intention of marrying the count. If I can’t dissuade my father, perhaps I can become a nun.”
Startled by her words, Philip interrupted their conversation. “You don’t have to become
