I got up from my desk and closed her coat, telling her that it really wasn’t the best time, I had a surprise meeting I had to get to.
She pouted and even stomped her foot. I made a mental note to block her number. She tried to claw at my chest, thinking it was sexy. Newsflash, pretending you're a cat is not sexy. At least not to me.
She walked out five minutes after she got here, and I sat there on the couch as I stared out at Lauren’s desk. After about half an hour passed and I realized that she wasn't back, I texted her. Okay, so I was a dick, but seriously, where was she? Was she having lunch with Steven? With someone else?
But then she came in and dumped my lunch on the coffee table in front of me and put my Coke down next to it.
I sat up straight at that recollection. She fucking drugged me!
I text Noah right away.
My assistant put a laxative in my Coke.
I don’t have to wait long before he sends me back a text filled with nothing but laughing and crying emoticons.
I send him back the middle finger.
She drugged me. I thought I was dying. I almost called 9-1-1.
You almost called 9-1-1 because you had the shits?
Which he follows with a text of shit emojis.
I shake my head, this isn’t a joke. I almost died. The stuff that came out of me… I didn’t think it was humanly possible to be full of that much shit.
I have to get her back.
Whoa there, you don’t even know if she did anything.
I know it in my gut.
BAHAHA!!! Is there anything left in your gut? Maybe what you think you’re feeling is just emptiness.
I don’t even bother answering him at this point. I throw my phone down and get up slowly. I reach for a bottle of water. I look at it carefully to make sure it wasn’t tampered with before I open it up and start drinking it.
I walk over to her desk and see it spotless. I rip all her Post-its down and crumple them up. I pull out her chair and sit down at her computer, then open it up and start going through her emails.
She thinks I’m an asshole. I find emails to Penelope and see she’s really thinking about quitting. Over my dead body. I’m going to fire her before she can quit on me.
I then think over last year when I got a virus from a porn site. Oh, don’t sit there shaking your head; we all watch porn. I know you do, too.
I open up the porn site and start flipping on all the links that pop up. I click girl porn, anal porn, BBW porn, big tit porn, gay porn, lesbian porn, MILF porn; you name the porn, I open all the links and put her volume to the max. Take that, you little minx.
I close down her screen, rubbing my hands together in evil glee. The minute I do that, my stomach starts up again, and I barely make it to the bathroom, where I am, once again, sitting there thinking I’m dying.
It’s almost three a.m. when I finally make it out of the bathroom. I decide to just spend the night in my office. Making sure I set my alarm for seven so I can get up and shower before she comes in.
I fall asleep with a smile on my face and at least five pounds lighter.
By seven thirty, I am showered and changed. I opt for warm water with honey this morning instead of coffee. I rinse out the cup before using it just in case she’s tampered with everything in the kitchen. Who knows, maybe she’s trying to kill everyone in the office.
I’m sitting at my desk when she walks in. When she walks past my office, I see that her skirt today falls to right above her knees and is not as tight as the others.
Of course, my dick starts to stir right away. I look down and mumble, “Traitor” at him.
She takes off her scarf and jacket, and I see that her shirt is a V-neck today. Finally showing off some skin and a hint of her nice, full C-cups. Her cream sweater molds to her, and my traitorous dick has risen to fully salute her. I give him a firm squeeze as I picture Danielle from yesterday. He shrivels right up in response, leaving me shaking my head.
I watch her sit down and touch the mouse to bring her computer screen to life.
The second her computer fires up, the normally quiet office is filled with the sounds of loud sexual moaning.
“Oh my god! Oh my god! OH MY GOD!” she squeals, getting more and more flustered.
I get up from my chair and walk to my door. I lean against it as I say, “Watching porn at work. Real nice.”
She throws a panicky look over her shoulder at me but doesn’t have time to reply before she turns back to the screen, where a woman with the biggest tits I have ever seen in my life bounces on a guy reverse-cowgirl style as her voice echoes through the office. “Oh yeah, I like that. Play with my tits, give it to me harder! Ooohhhhh yeah, oh right there! Fuck me like that right there!”
She clicks that screen closed, but another one pops right up in its place. Two guys this time. “I’m going to fuck that ass hard, and you’re going to take it all, baby.”
When nothing else happens, she starts to freak out. “What the heck is happening?”
She tries to close it down but to no avail. The screen is frozen on the image of one of the guys’ dicks entering the other guy’s ass. His face looks pained—and not in a good way. The screen may be frozen, but the sound is still coming through loud and clear.
“Fuck that virgin ass, tear it up. I’m
