Sinking back to my knees without losing our connection, I pressed my palms against the backs of her thighs so I could deepen my penetration. Watching myself disappear over and over inside her made me lose my mind. I gripped her hips to pull her to me, and then used my thumb to furiously rub her clit exactly how she loved it.
Rhythmic tremors overcame her, and she came apart immediately, which catapulted me into the abyss of my own release. Jackhammering my cock into her with desperate thrusts, I couldn’t stop until Alex screamed out her pleasure, and I shouted when I emptied myself inside her.
Collapsing, but being careful not to crush her, I wanted to prolong the time that our bodies remained melded as one.
As we lay intertwined, my cock twitched deep inside her. I wondered if it was normal to feel like I was physically addicted to Alex. My body felt like it was born to be interlocked with hers like this. We were two parts of a puzzle and I didn’t want our time together to ever end.
When Alex’s breathing regulated as she drifted off to sleep, I lay awake all night wondering how it would be possible to love someone so much that you could let them go.
It turned out that Alex and I were very civilized about it. After sleeping in until noon and making gentle love when we woke up, we took a shower together, got dressed, and I drove her over to her mom’s. We sat in the front seat of my old beater pickup truck for a long time until finally Alex clutched my hand and looked up at me.
“I’ll always love you.” She peered up at me from under her eyelashes.
“I’ll always love you.”
“You don’t need to be exclusive with me anymore, Jace.” She looked down at her lap.
“You don’t either.” I gulped, nearly choking on the words. “But I probably will have to kill whoever you end up with.”
“Are we having a Whitney Houston moment?” Alex looked up at me with a small smile.
I guffawed. Leave it to my Poppy to make me laugh during the saddest moment of my life.
Alex laughed sharply. “I should go.”
“Okay.” The lump in my throat was unbearable.
Alex leaned over and pressed her lips to mine. Our tongues tangled desperately for a minute before she pulled away.
“I’m going to need some time.” She sighed, not looking at me.
Tipping her chin up with my finger so she couldn’t avoid my gaze, I nodded. “I know. Me too.”
Nodding, Alex opened the car door and her long legs strode across the walkway, up the steps, and to the front door. Turning, she lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers at me, then blew me a kiss and went inside without another glance.
A few days later, I trolled her to make sure she arrived in Germany safely and saw her post from a horse rescue outside of Munich. With her long, blonde hair blowing in the breeze in front of a pasture full of horses, she looked happy. And free. I smiled. Then I unfollowed her because I couldn’t bear it.
For the next forty-eight hours before we left for South America, I isolated myself under the guise of resting up before the tour. I couldn’t talk to anyone, and my heart hurt.
Unfortunately, my only coping mechanism was to get literally black-out drunk for two solid days. It blocked out the pain, but I was too old and had too many responsibilities with my band, so I felt even worse when I boarded the plane.
It struck me that for the first time since LTZ became famous, I wasn’t happy to be starting a new tour.
Chapter 14
ALEX
Almost Two Years Later
Zoey stacked the last of the boxes against the wall in my childhood bedroom. Seeing my life packed up into piles and ready to either donate or move to my new apartment felt cathartic. Now that I’d permanently moved back to Seattle, I was looking forward to setting up my own place.
After looking for a couple of months, I purchased a new, modern condo in Belltown a few blocks away from where Jace lived.
Or used to live. I had no idea.
We hadn’t kept in touch at all after we parted ways. He’d unfollowed my social media. And although I couldn’t bear to unfollow him back, I’d made no effort to see him. It was hard, but as the months dragged on, I’d come to terms that it was truly over between us.
“When do you leave for Paris?” Zoey snapped me out of my reverie.
“Not for another week, I’ll only be gone a few days.” I stretched my arms and legs in preparation to move the boxes. “I’m so excited to be home. To have a home.”
Home base. After so many years in a suitcase, I was ready.
Zoey threw her arms around me, and I hugged her tightly back. So much had happened over the past six years, but it was like time had stood still between us. Sure, we had kept a few secrets from each other. Sure, we had lost touch after high school for a few months.
The reality was, loving our LTZ boys had really taken a toll on both of our hearts.
I didn’t know why I couldn’t bear to tell Zoey—or anyone really—about Jace and how far things had gotten between us. Simply put, I just couldn’t talk about it. Plus, I didn’t want to hurt her. She rarely mentioned Ty anymore, but I saw the pain flash in her eyes when we’d see a new story or blog post of him with yet another model or actress.
It seemed to be happening more and more with all of them, the media couldn’t get enough of the guys of LTZ.
Truthfully, my heart exploded every time I saw Jace with the latest of his own conquests. He still kept himself out of the press, for the most part, so his exploits
