My face inched closer to his and I kissed him on the lips, losing myself in how soft his touch was, losing myself in his scent, in the way his hand felt on my cheek as I kissed him for a second, moving away before I kept kissing him, his hand firmly on my cheek as I practically toppled him back on the bench with my body.
He laughed, moving away from me and then looked me up and down. “Do you understand?” he said.
I bit down on my lower lip. “I understand,” I said. “I just—I don’t want you to do this. If you love me, can you at least go to a lawyer first?”
He shook his head, laughing a little. “You know I can’t afford a lawyer,” he said. “Unless I do another hit.”
I raised my eyebrows. “That’s funny,” I said. “You’re funny.”
“Seriously, though,” he said. “I can’t afford a lawyer.”
“Don’t worry about that,” I replied. “I have someone in mind.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
2019
“How did it go?” I asked as he walked out of the double glass doors and toward the waiting room at the lawyer’s office.
He looked me up and down, smiling a little as he helped me to my feet. “Pretty well,” he said. “All things considered. He said I can go to the police and probably won’t go to prison, but…”
“What?”
“Let’s talk about it once we get out of here,” he said as he pulled me close to him, kissing me softly on the cheek. “Thank you for bringing me here. I appreciate this, and I appreciate you.”
He put his arms around my waist and kissed me on the forehead that time. “So are you going to tell me how it went?”
“No,” he said. “Not until we get out of here.”
“Is… is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine,” he said. “How about we go get a coffee and have a conversation?”
I expected him to have some news, but I hadn’t expected him to be so somber after getting out of the lawyer’s office. I thought there would be some resolution, but no resolution seemed to be happening. He was still as worried as he was before, maybe even more worried, and there were lines on his face, on his forehead, his brow furrowed.
“That sounds scary,” I said.
He laughed. “It’s not as scary as you think,” he said. “There is this local coffee shop across the street, if you want to go there. Are you still into old books?”
“Yes,” I said. “I am.”
“Great, I think they also sell vintage books,” he said. He kept talking about the books as we left the waiting room and went across the street, holding hands as we waited by the traffic light. He pulled me across the street, his fingers intertwined in mine, and his skin was soft and warm even as the cool air felt like it seeped through my skin and into my bones. He kept talking and talking about it some more, but I didn’t want to talk about the bookstore-turned-coffeeshop, though I would’ve been interested in it at any other time.
Jody looked at me, and he stopped talking.
“Hey,” he said, his hand on the handle of the coffee shop's door. “Don’t worry, okay? I have this handled.”
I blinked, shaking my head. “I don’t know,” I said. “There’s something about your attitude that I’m finding a little scary. Are you sure you have this handled?”
He looked me up and down, then looked away. “Coffee first,” he said. “Then we can talk about it.”
I side-eyed him, but didn’t say anything as he pulled the door open and allowed me to go in before him. The coffeeshop was immediately small and cozy, and I did feel like it was a very nice little spot. In any other circumstance, I might have actually enjoyed it.
He ordered a soy latte and I ordered a cappuccino before we sat down in one of the tables which were closest to the windows. He took a sip of his warm coffee and looked up at me. “The lawyer was very good,” he said. “Where did you meet him?”
“He went to medical school with me for a hot minute,” I said. “Then he decided he hated it, dropped out, and became a lawyer.”
He blinked, clearly surprised. “That’s… wow,” he said. “How accomplished.”
I laughed, taking a sip of my own coffee. “That guy is a dick,” I said. “Probably what makes him a good lawyer.”
He smiled, a little dryly. “Yes,” he said. “I can tell that he is a good lawyer.”
“So…”
He took another breath before he spoke. “He believes that I won’t get severely punished, I guess. So to speak.”
“That’s good.”
He smiled again, shaking his head and looking right at me. “They are going to know that it wasn’t just me. They are going to know that other people were involved and they are going to question me.”
“Right,” I said. “That’s what you have a lawyer for.”
He shook his head. “Yes, and I’ll probably get probation, or a couple of months, or maybe even time served if they detain me.”
“But?”
He swallowed, looking away from me before he spoke. “This is what I’m going to do,” he said. “But it’s dangerous. That’s why I’m not going to just do that.”
I blinked, taking another sip of my coffee. “What do you mean?”
“I have to tell them,” he said. “I have to tell the people I worked with. I can’t blindside them.”
“You can’t—”
“You don’t understand,” he said, looking right into my eyes,
