“I didn’t put it on Facebook or anything,” I said.
He laughed, throwing his head back. “That doesn’t matter,” he said. “I have a feeling that they have been tracking me for a while, because they are going to know. And I’m not comfortable going away and leaving you without protection.”
“I don’t really understand. How is you telling them that you’re going to go to the police going to protect you?”
“It’s not,” he said. “It’s going to protect you.”
“You might get stabbed again,” I said, my voice dropping to a whisper. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“Yes, but I have two arms, and I know some really good doctors.”
I shook my head. “It’s not funny.”
“I’m going to be in a world of pain if this gets back to me,” he said. “But if I own up to it, I can take my licks, and then bow out. It can be that simple. You won’t have to get involved and I won’t have to worry about you being in danger or hurt if, or maybe when, I have to go away for a long time.”
I swallowed. “You’re not going to have to go away. That’s what you have a lawyer for.”
“Yes,” he said. “But even he said that he can’t guarantee anything. And that’s okay, the only thing I need to be guaranteed is your safety.”
“That’s very sweet, but it might not be achievable. My job can be sort of dangerous.”
He smiled, licking his lips before he did. “I know. I know exactly how dangerous your job can be, and I don’t want it to be more dangerous than it already is. If you have goons coming after you, that’s going to make your life way harder than it already is.”
“But what if you get hurt? I wouldn’t be okay with that.”
“I’ll be okay. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”
I swallowed, looking away from him. “What if they do more than hurt you? What if I can’t help you, what if no one else can?”
He kissed my hand, my ring finger, my index finger, my pinky, all while looking right into my eyes, his gaze never wavering. “If that happens,” he said, his voice a whisper as he leaned forward to get even closer to me. I could smell the coffee on his breath. “They will leave you alone.”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Yeah. But maybe I’m right, too?”
I bit my lips and looked away from him, unsure of what I was supposed to say, but just from looking at him, I could tell that I wasn’t going to be able to talk him out of it, no matter how much I wanted to.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m not going to fight you on this. Should we just go back to my place and forget about all this?”
He nodded. “Yes,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “That sounds like a wonderful idea.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
2019
When we got back to my apartment, the mood felt sober. I wanted to enjoy my time with him, but it felt like there was a cloud hanging over us, and I didn’t know how to get around it. He sighed as he closed the door behind him, looking around before his gaze settled on me as I walked toward the bathroom.
“Wait,” he said.
I turned around to face him.
“I know that this isn’t what you want,” he said. “For what it’s worth, it isn’t what I want either.”
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said.
He walked over to where I was and looked down at me, placing a crooked finger under my chin as he stared into my eyes. “Listen to me, Jess,” he said. “I wouldn’t do this unless I had to. You understand that, right?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Sure,” I said. “I guess.”
“I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place,” he said, his voice soft. “I’m just going to do everything I can to keep you safe.”
“At your expense?”
“Yes,” he said. “At my expense. Whatever happens, I need to make sure that you’re going to be okay.”
I shook my head, taking a step away from him. “I don’t like this whole martyr thing,” I said. “I don’t appreciate it.”
He laughed. “I don’t like it, either,” he said. “For what it’s worth.”
I took a deep, shuddering breath, and he wrapped his arm around my waist, as he moved my body closer to his. I let myself be guided by his touch and when he tilted his head down, I kissed him softly on the lips when he pressed his lips against mine.
His hands slowly moved down my body until he was level with the back of my skirt. His fingers fumbled, finding the zipper on the back of my clothes and slowly sliding it open. With dexterity, he grabbed the fabric of my skirt and pulled it slowly down my legs. As it fell on the floor in a heap at my feet, I stepped away from him and giggled as I bit down on my lower lip.
“What do you think you are doing?” I asked, looking right at his face. The skin on his cheeks and above his nose was red, and his eyes were shining as he continued to stare at me. His gaze slowly went from my
