CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
2019
“I’m going with you,” I said.
He shook his head, his eyes wide. “No,” he said. “No, you are not doing this.”
“Just how I get a say in how you are not doing this?” I replied. We were arguing over breakfast, sunlight pouring into the dining room from the half-open blinds. It was a beautiful day, but I was too worried about my problems to care too much about the weather.
My problems, I thought, trying my best not to scoff. They were more like his problems and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about them. I took another sip of my coffee, which wasn’t enough to calm my nerves.
“Okay,” he said. His toast remained untouched in front of him, the melted butter getting cold on top of the rye bread. “For the sake of argument, let’s say that you, too, have all the expertise it takes to deal with this. You know that I’m doing this for your safety—”
“That’s what you keep saying—”
“And you know that I have to do this, and the last thing I want to do is get you involved.”
“And the last thing I want you to do is this, but once again, we can’t always get what we want.”
He furrowed his brow, scoffing before he spoke. “You are not going to give this up, are you?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “You know I went to med school through the skin of my teeth.”
“Ugh,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I would hate how determined you are if it wasn’t so attractive.”
“Thank… thank you?” I replied.
“You can wait in the car,” he said, then leaned over slightly so that his gaze was level with my eyes. “I’m serious, Jess. The car. You never get out. No matter what happens.”
“No matter what happens?” I repeated, half-mocking, half-afraid.
“Yes,” he said. “No matter what happens.”
I bit the inside of my mouth before I gave him a firm nod. “Fine,” I said. “I promise you I won’t get out of the car, provided it doesn’t take you more than two hours, and I don’t hear anything which might sound like you are in trouble.”
His eyes widened. “You definitely can’t get out of the car if it sounds like I’m in trouble.”
“Can I call an ambulance?”
“Ugh,” he said. “I guess. As long as you don’t call the police.”
“I have a couple of EMTs on speed dial,” I replied.
“Great,” he said, his tone tinged with sarcasm. “Then your presence there will be welcome.”
“I understand that you don’t want me there, but I do have emergency training.”
He nodded. “Great,” he said. “Can you operate on yourself?”
I flipped him off. “I will be fine,” I said. “Will you?”
He rolled his eyes and stood up. “I’ll send you an address.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “You could send me anywhere. Why don’t we just drive together and I can wait in the car?”
“Fine,” he said, groaning, then stood up and walked over to where I was. “You’re very annoying.”
“Get used to it,” I said.
He laughed, planting a kiss on my mouth. “Tonight,” he said. “I can’t keep putting it off.”
“You’ve been putting it off?”
“Yes,” he said. “Do you think I turned off my phone and left it in the kitchen for like, three days, because I was being forgetful?”
“Yes?”
“No,” he said. “That’s not why.”
“I know,” I said. “But that’s why I want it to be.”
I licked my lips. “What time tonight?”
“After dinner,” he said. “Maybe eight or nine.”
“Okay,” I replied. “That sounds…”
“If you say good…”
“I’ll see you then,” I said. “Bring Chinese food or something. This kind of thing is always easier when you don’t have an empty stomach.”
He smiled at me, but I could tell that his heart wasn’t in it, and as soon as I saw his expression, I could feel my heart dropping to my stomach.
***
I was the one to drive us back to his neighborhood. The streets were all crowded with traffic, and each pothole put me in a shittier and shittier mood. There were a few minutes of panicked silence in the car, when I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say to him, because I knew I couldn’t just talk him out of it no matter how much I wanted to.
I could tell that he was nervous. I kept staring at him, waiting for him to say something, even when I was supposed to keep my eyes on the road. But I couldn’t do anything about it. I could only wait and wait, biting my tongue as I thought more about how dangerous and reckless this idea was.
Unfortunately, Jody was just as stubborn as I was, and I knew there was no way that I could talk him out of this. There was no way that I could tell him that his idea was ridiculous and wrongheaded, and that I couldn’t bear the thought of him getting hurt.
I knew better than to try and talk him out of it, but he extended his hand, put it on my shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. I looked at him and sighed as we pulled into the block where this ridiculous thing was supposed to take place.
“Here,” he said. “Park here.”
I parked where he was pointing to, never saying a word of disapproval
