But I couldn’t stop myself.
Not for that long. As he grabbed the handle to get out of the car, I took a deep breath and tugged at his shirt, as if I was a child. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I do.”
I stared at him for a second before I let him go. It was pointless, of course it was, but I had to try.
He turned a little so that he could look at me, a smile on his face. I could tell that he wasn’t actually happy, but he was trying his best. Putting my mind at ease seemed more important than his own safety, which was, of course, absolutely ridiculous.
This was all absolutely ridiculous.
Since I couldn’t talk him out of it, I had to wait. As he slammed the car door behind him, my heart did flips in my chest, and I felt like I was going to throw up.
Then I watched his body as he began to walk away from me, and when he turned a corner and I couldn’t see him anymore, I realized that I wasn’t breathing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
2019
I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I tried not to check my watch too often, but that was basically impossible. I moved in the driver’s seat, back and forth, trying my best to forget all about what he was doing, and pretending that I was there because I wanted to be.
But I wasn’t there because I wanted to be.
If it were up to me, we would be back at my place, snuggling under the blankets and watching a movie one of us might not have seen before. Something cozy and safe was currently my idea of a perfect date. Anything so that I wouldn’t have to worry about his safety, about whether he was okay or not.
It was getting darker and the street I was parked at didn’t seem to have any street lights. Jody had been very thorough about telling me to keep the lights off and to not call attention to myself. I was trying my best not to, but I was getting even more anxious, and since I couldn’t see or hear anything that was going on, it wasn’t making me feel any better at all.
I wanted to pace back and forth, but I was stuck in the car, waiting for him. Waiting for something to happen.
I didn’t know how long I had waited for, but it felt like hours.
He had told me not to text them or get in touch, and I was trying not to, but my hands were searching for my phone, wondering if he was at least going to send me some information about what had happened or what was happening, if he could. If he was well enough to.
The idea that he was not well enough made me feel like I was going to throw up, but I was trying my best not to think about that. Letting myself get carried away was absolutely pointless, but I needed to know.
I needed to know what was happening, where he was, what was happening, if he was okay.
God, I really, really hoped that he was okay.
As soon as I picked up my phone, feeling the cool material in my hands, the sound of the car’s door opening startled me enough that I felt like I needed to jump out of my skin.
I craned my neck to look, my eyes widening as I realized that it was him, he was there, looking harried.
“Drive!” he exclaimed.
“What?”
“Jess, drive!”
I did as I was told. I turned the key in the ignition and my car sputtered into life. I was normally a careful driver, but I didn’t even look before I pulled out of my parking spot, and I was practically shaking as I got to the first intersection.
As I rolled the car to a stop, I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head, my mouth dry before I spoke again. “I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know. Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”
He laughed, throwing his head back, a belly laugh that came from so deeply inside of him that I didn’t think I had ever heard it before. He was doubling over, his hands placed firmly on his stomach, and I was worried about him, but this was better than being worried for his safety.
Once he had gathered himself, after I had cracked a smile, he looked at me. “That was so weird.”
“How so?”
“Well, first of all, I had to make sure that they didn’t have any weapons.”
“Okay,” I said, as we approached the entrance to the freeway. The further away we got from his neighbor, the happier and less anxious I felt. “Good. That makes sense.”
“So after I realized they didn’t have any guns on them or anything, I thought I would tell them the truth.”
“What about a knife or a shiv or something?”
He looked at me for a second too long, then he shrugged his shoulders. “You didn’t think they would have a shiv, right?” he said. “I mean, we are not in prison or anything.”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “I don’t know anything about the whole crime side of this!”
He shook his head. “There is no shiv,” he said. “Don’t worry.”
“And knives?”
