Tears fill my eyes, running down my cheeks as everything comes crashing down. He told me he never loved her, and yet I know she’s telling the truth. It would explain why he doesn’t want the distraction from hockey and why he wanted to use me as a shield to keep other women away, just so he can go back to her. He told me that he’s only ever used protection during sex, but that had to be a lie too. Something to make me feel like I’m the special one and no one else mattered but me. Everything was a lie.
“So nice talking to you, Kathleen! But I have to go break the news to Jeff that we aren’t a thing anymore, officially this time, since Granger is going to be needing me,” she says gleefully, and then slides away into the crowd. I hardly see her leave, because the one man I’ve ever loved, who broke my heart, is standing five feet in front of me.
He flicks his gaze over to Victoria as she walks away, then glances back to me. The look on his face says it all. Maybe he’s been trying to tell me this whole time that he doesn’t want to see me anymore, but I’m just the pathetic girl that clung to him and he felt bad for poor me. My God, I was a charity case. As each tear falls from my cheek, he just stands there staring at me without saying anything. My heart bleeds open, and I don’t think it’ll ever recover again. He tries coming closer, but I hold up a hand and ignore the people around us starting to stare. I’m about to break in front of him, but I won’t give him that. I’m done with people breaking me inside and out over and over again.
“Kat…I can explain. Just let me explain, pleas—” He starts to talk, finally, but I cut him off because I can’t be here and deal right now.
“Just stay away from me, Granger. I’m done,” I tell him in a harsh, broken tone as I turn around, but he grabs my wrist with a desperate, wild look in those green eyes I’ve come to love.
“Kat, it’s not what it seems. Just let me explain! If you trust me, even a little bit, you’ll stay and let me explain,” he begs, and there’s a plea in his deep voice. His eyebrows draw together as he tries to make me stay, but I yank away from him. I’m taking one step at a time before I stop and turn back to him to look him in the eye one last time.
“I can’t trust you, Granger. Everything was a lie.” My voice cracks, and I watch as his face closes off, his eyes turning cold as he shakes his head.
“A lie. I’ve never lied to you, but you have to me. You said you were at Mary’s last night, Kat, but I saw you. I watched as you got into some guy’s car.” He swallows hard, and I could swear his eyes start to water, but he just blinks, shaking his head again with a hurt look until it’s gone.
Right from the beginning, he’s really never trusted me it seems, and he just comes to conclusions without asking me or trusting in me. Maybe this was a mistake from the very start, but I still love him, even as I feel like every breath is killing me just being near him.
“I’m done, Granger. Jus-just leave me alo-alone.” I suck in a watery breath and dodge around people as I take off running down the tunnel towards the exit with blurry eyes.
I ignore his parents calling my name and him shouting mine, my only purpose is getting away. Once I’m alone, I can cry and get it all out, if it ever stops hurting. I’ll still have to see him around campus, class, and every place we’ve been together… What if I’m not strong enough?
I don’t stop running until I’m at Mary’s dorm. She opens the door with understanding and open arms without a word as tears trail down my cheeks. I don’t stop crying, even when my eyes are dry and my body feels numb. Heartbreak really does kill you inside and out.
26
Granger
We won the game, I’m going to be skating for my dream team starting mid summer for training, and my parents finally came to watch me skate a few days ago. I should be celebrating all these achievements, but the funny thing is, that I feel anything but happy. My fucking Princess was supposed to be here with me, tucked close to my body and by my side where I always want her. I fucked up big time, and her face the last time I saw her said it all.
I’m lost without her, and I can’t think of a way to fix it. I could blame Victoria for all of this, talking to Kat and telling her about the pregnancy before I ever got a chance, but the thing is…there were plenty of times it could have come up, but I was a coward. By her facial expression the moment Victoria told her, I just fucking knew it was all going to go downhill.
During half-time, I had decided to talk to her and not jump to conclusions about her getting into a car with another man. To hear her side of the story and for one goddamn time in my life, learn to trust her because she deserved that. But no, I had to
