Three long, miserable nights have passed, and I deserve every lonely moment because I’m a screw up. Finding love for the first time and watching it walk away really does something to a man. It’s like someone took a knife to my chest, cut my heart out, carved their initials into it, and then stuck it back in so I have something to remember them by.
I really miss my Princess, but then again, she might be better off without me. How can she love me when I’ve hurt her? She’ll move on in no time, and I’ll be just a memory of college years. The thought alone of her with another man makes me want to chew them up for breakfast and spit them out. I really need to get myself together and maybe stop coming to the bar off campus, but I can’t stand being at home, where her things are, where the memories eat me alive every waking moment.
“Can I get you anything else to drink?” the bartender asks, and for the life of me, I can’t remember his name. My mind can’t focus on anything. I’m pretty sure he’s told me three nights in a row, but I’ve decided to call him Joe, and he’ll be a Joe until I get my head on straight.
My phone chimes in my pocket, and it’s probably my parents again. Since the game, they’ve been calling non stop, asking if Kat and I made up yet because they like her. I mean, who wouldn’t? She’s talented, smart, funny, and so damn beautiful, she makes my eyes sting like looking into the sun. My parents knew about the whole mess last year with Victoria, and yet they wanted me to go chase after Kat, saying she isn’t someone you let run away when you just found them. The question is, if I caught her, would she want to stay in my arms? These thoughts drift through my head as I stare down at my half full drink, hunched over the bar and ignoring everything else around me.
“No, Joe. Not right now. Maybe in a little bit,” I grumble grumpily under my breath, and glare at the shiny wood surface of the bar top as if it holds the answers to my problems.
A hand clamps on my shoulder with a pounding of his palm before he pulls out a bar stool next to me. I don’t bother looking over because I know it’s Beast. You could hear his stomping feet a mile away, plus he’s been coming here just as much as me every night. Kat is holed up with Mary in her dorm, and apparently, Mary’s not answering for anyone, even the moody giant next to me.
“How many has he had, Jake?” By his wary tone, you’d figure I’m three sheets to the wind, but it’s not like that at all.
Hey, at least I got one thing correct. I knew Joe’s name started with a letter J.
“None. He’s been sipping on Pepsi all night again,” Joe who is now Jake says with an exasperated sigh. He’s probably shaking his head at my pathetic self.
“Bro, you have to man the fuck up and go get your girl. It’s not just killing you, but me too. I haven’t been able to see my Latino goddess in person for three whole days. But I’ve had a tongue lashing over the phone every single day,” he says in a gruff voice, turning towards me on his stool to look at me.
My hair is unkempt, there’s dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, and I feel bone tired. I’ve only been able to make it through class and hockey practice by some miracle, but the moment I stand still, it all comes back. Grabbing my glass, I swirl around on my seat to look at him fully, and almost feel bad because he doesn’t look so good himself.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do? She hates me. I couldn’t—didn’t tell her about everything, Beast, and she might never forgive me for that. She’s already been through so much, and I just added to it.” My voice comes out deeper than usual, emotions climbing up my throat so it makes it hard to talk.
“Do you love her?” He stares me right in the eyes, telling me to not bullshit him.
“Yes.” My answer is simple and matter of fact. I’d have to be the dumbest motherfucker to not love that girl.
“You’re a dumb motherfucker. You're sitting on your ass in self-pity when you could be at her door, begging for forgiveness and praying to God that she takes you back. Take back what’s yours and never let it go, before it’s too late.” He steals my drink out of my hand and drains it in one gulp before slamming the glass on the bar.
Standing, he slaps me on the back and tells me to stop being someone I’m not before he walks out. Dropping a few singles on the bar, I walk out the door with one destination on my mind. My hands shake as I rake them through my hair, and my stomach drops down to my ass with nerves.
That son of a bitch is right. I’ve always been a man to go after what he believes in, and I’ve believed Kat was meant to be by my side since the moment I saw her skating on my ice. A small smile comes over my face at the memory of her telling me off that day, putting me in my place before gracefully walking away from me like the princess she is. Even if she doesn’t love me back, I at least want
