She’s sad.
My body aches for her, to hold her, to kiss her, to comfort her.
“Does she… um… does she miss me at all?”
“What the fuck do you think? She’s completely in love with you, we’ve all seen the way she looks at you, how she acts around you, I’d say if she wasn’t missing your sorry ass, then she’s the best damn actress on the planet.”
“I need to get her back, Luke,” I say, my voice coming off desperate. “I need her.”
He looks me in the eye, a small smile curving up in the corner of his mouth. “Right, come on, get showered and dressed, dickhead.”
“Pretty sure you already gave me a shower just now, asshole.” I fight back a smile, shaking my head.
I love my brother.
Technically, not my brother, but that’s how we were raised.
No matter the situation, my brother is always there to show me what an asshole I am.
“Then go get another shower, prick. Time to go get your girl.”
Chapter 40
Hayley
There’s a light knock at my bedroom door and Aaron pokes his head around the door.
“Hey.” He smiles sympathetically, his voice soft and soothing. “Front door was unlocked, hope it's okay.”
“Of course, come in.” I drop the pile of clothes I was in the middle of folding down next to me on the bed.
My dad left earlier to go to his group session, leaving me home alone, which really isn’t the best thing right now, so I’ve spent all day cleaning and tidying my room, anything to stay busy, anything to keep my mind from wandering to Kyle, but It’s impossible. Whether it’s a song on the radio that reminds me of him, or just a single memory, my heart lurches, my insides squeezing painfully.
It’s been two days, and it still feels as fresh and raw as it did that night, like a wound that won’t heal, even just a little bit.
I can’t remember where I heard it, probably in some book or something, 'It’s better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all.’
Bullshit.
If I hadn’t have fallen in love with him, then I wouldn’t feel like this, I wouldn’t feel this pain. This heartbreak. But then I think of all the good times we had together, do I really wish I could go back to the beginning and start over, erasing all of those happy memories to save me this heartache?
No, but sometimes it feels like it would be easier if I did, that it would be easier to have not met him at all. Why does it hurt so much?
My head is pounding, my eyes heavy from crying and lack of sleep, thoughts of Kyle filling my head, keeping me wide awake.
I’m not the only one who’s hurting, though. Kyle is too. I saw it. I’m haunted by one image every time I close my eyes, the image of Kyle falling to his knees, tears streaming down his face, the hurt and anguish on his face. The look of a man utterly defeated.
As much as I wanted to pound his chest with my fists, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck.
I should hate him, I want to hate him, but I don’t. After everything that’s happened, I can’t seem to make myself hate him. The reality of it is, I still love him. I’ll always love him, which makes it hurt all the more. It would be so much simpler if I could simply just hate him.
Aaron makes his way over to the bed and perches next to me, his hand squeezing my knee gently. “How are you?”
“Not good.” I offer him a weak smile.
“I knew it. I knew he would hurt you.” He shakes his head, pulling his lips tight over his teeth. “What happened? What did he do? Gwen called me asking if I’d seen you.”
I lower my gaze. “Let’s just say he lied to me and leave it at that, I don’t want to get into it.”
He brings his hand up to my face, tipping my chin up to him. He kisses my forehead as he’s always done since we met, only he doesn’t stop there. Before I realise what’s happening, Aaron’s lips are on mine.
I pull back out of his grasp. “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” he replies softly, leaning back in, kissing me harder this time.
“Aaron stop.” I slide off the bed away from him, crossing my arms over my body protectively.
“It’s because of him isn’t it?”
“This has nothing to do with Kyle, this has to with the fact that my best friend just kissed me.”
“I’m in love with you.”
Wait, what? I stand there in silence, staring down at him wide-eyed.
“What?” I breathe out.
“I love you, I have done since we first met.”
“I had no idea.”
“I guessed as much." He laughs softly. “Hayley, I want to be the one you confide in, I want to be the man you come home to at night and wake up to in the morning. I want you.”
“Aaron, I... I don’t feel that way for you.”
His face falls in disappointment. He stands up and steps towards me, placing his palm on my cheek. “You and me, we can be good together, good for each other. Forget about him, he’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve you.”
“Aaron, leave Kyle out of this, it has nothing to do with him.”
“He’s got you wrapped around his little finger. He’s changed you, Hayley.”
“I’m the same as I’ve always been.”
“The old Hayley would never allow herself to be defiled against a car outside a bar,” he spits.
My eyes widen in shock. “You saw us.”
“Yeah, the night you brought your little boyfriend to Terry’s, when you allowed him to feel you up for anyone walking by to see, it made me sick, he was practically dry humping you in the street!”
“No one forced you to watch,” I snap.
He steps forward, gripping my
