“It’s where I should have kept you,” Gabriel murmured.
My gaze was ice. “Was that your blood?”
“No.”
“Then whose was it?” I snapped.
Thomas picked up an empty blood bag off the nightstand and looked at the label. “Tiffany Steadham. Maybe you should find her and thank her. Volunteer donors are a vampire’s best friend.”
I got up off the bed, my movements quicker than I intended, making the three of them tense up.
I walked to Thomas until I was inches from his face. “I’m not in the mood for your tasteless jokes,” I said.
He smiled genuinely, the light in his eyes relaxed and carefree. “And I am not in the mood for your spoiled attitude, but we can’t all get what we want, can we?”
“I said I didn’t want blood!”
“Child, you went into the coma sleep. It was the only way to get you out,” Inola said, toying with her braid nervously.
“Maybe that’s the way I wanted to stay!” To prove my point, I closed my eyes, ready to dive back into the only darkness I had never been afraid of.
Gabriel’s voice cut me like steel. “Do it again, and it will be my blood that wakes you. Those who are in the coma sleep are too deeply asleep to form a connection, so I just won’t stop when you awaken. I am stronger than you; you will have no choice as I give you a copious amount of my blood from the vein. And going back into the coma sleep cannot break a blood connection, just so you know. If you go back into the coma sleep with a blood connection formed, time and death are still your only options to break it.”
My eyes opened quickly. There was no life in Gabriel’s eyes as he stared at me, but his mouth turned up at one corner. “If you don’t want that pesky blood connection between us, I recommend not doing it again,” he said.
“How dare you?” I whispered.
I’d forgotten how cruel Gabriel could be. I waited to see if a spark of the real Gabriel was in there, but I saw nothing but green ice in his eyes. Maybe this was who he really was, and I had been wrong to think otherwise. Maybe my hatred had somehow bled into him, and now he hated me, too.
The thought of Gabriel’s hatred hurt me more than it should have. I winced and turned away from him, but not before I saw the briefest sliver of confusion flash across his face.
Inola took my hands in hers. “Go take a shower, and put on some nice clothes. It will make you feel better.”
Not knowing what else to do, I nodded. I knew arguing was pointless, and trying to escape was stupid. Who knew if Elias was even truly done with me?
I shuddered and held her hands tighter. Red tinged my vision, and cold tendrils swept along my spine. I was still so afraid—afraid enough that it took everything I had not to scream. My teeth began to chatter, and the sensation vibrated my entire body.
“It’s ok,” Inola soothed. “I know you are still scared. The shower will feel nice though, I promise.”
“Will you come with me?” I asked her, the words sounding strange because of my chattering teeth.
“Of course I will.”
Inola’s presence seemed to keep the hysteria at bay, but it still bubbled beneath the surface as I showered. She talked to me calmly, although I forgot most of what she said as soon as she said it.
The water on my skin was distracting and very warm, and the smell of the soap was intoxicating. It did feel nice, and the smallest bit of me started to relax until I realized Inola had asked me a question.
“Can you say that again?” I asked.
Her tone was patient. “Do you think you can handle the joining ritual today with Violet Memory?”
I flung the curtain aside. “I have to join?”
“Well . . . no. But it is a good idea to, especially with . . . him still alive. It is an honor to be a part of a coven as old as this one.”
“What does it matter if he is still alive?” I hissed. “I was never safe here before!”
Inola sighed. “Actually, you were safe here. Especially when it became apparent that none here would harm you. Gabriel never should have let you leave; his desire for you to love him clouded his judgment. He also never should have taken you to such a remote location. And . . . Thomas and I never should have left you two alone.”
I hid behind the curtain. “It’s not your fault.”
“Part of it is. And I have the feeling it will be many centuries until I forgive myself.”
I studied my palm. Three soapy bubbles glistened like globed rainbows against my skin. The colors were beautiful, but it was the color red that stood out the most to me.
I sighed. “This coven does not prohibit killing. Why would I join a coven that encourages its members to kill people?”
“I wouldn’t say it’s encouraged, but it is allowed. It is most definitely not frowned upon. There are restrictions, and Jasmina will tell you our rules. But just because killing humans is allowed does not mean you have to hurt people, Kara. No one here will care whether you kill humans or not. Some of the older vampires may think you are strange if you don’t, but older vampires tend to be more hardened, and many do not value human life.”
“I don’t want to join,” I said truthfully.
“Just like you didn’t want blood? Child, you are no longer hum—”
“Don’t!” I screeched. “Don’t say it!” I reached out a shaking hand and turned the water off.
I didn’t want to hear the words. I knew exactly what I was, but . . .
She handed me a towel. The surface felt scratchier than it should have, and it was unnerving to be able to discern the individual fibers.
“Not saying it doesn’t change
