Just a little blood. Only a little to take the edge off. I wouldn’t kill it—I just needed a little.
The dam around my heart cracked a bit further as the squirrel squeaked, and my eyes almost grew misty as I bit into its neck. The blood flowed into my mouth, and I immediately gagged. The taste was so bad I dropped the squirrel. It ran away, squeaking in pain.
I coughed up the blood. Ugh, it was so nasty! It tasted like how sewage smelled. Only a little managed to go down my throat, and it did nothing to soothe it.
I punched the tree in frustration, sending splinters of wood flying everywhere as I jumped down. I landed silently and listened. The squirrel had been a bust, but maybe a different animal would work. . . .
A twig snapped. I whirled around and grabbed at a ball of fur. A rabbit squirmed in my hands.
My fangs brushed my lips. I leaned down toward the warm life thrashing in my arms. . . .
I set the rabbit down gently. It sprinted away, crashing into the underbrush.
My breathing hitched, and a dry sob echoed around me as my fangs slipped back inside my gums. I wiped desperately at the blood drying on my chin; it looked almost black in the silver moonlight.
Then I heard a different heartbeat, one that was slower than the animals around me. A heartbeat in perfect synchronization with mine.
I aimed the stake gun toward the sound. “Stop, or I’ll shoot,” I warned.
“Go ahead. I have a feeling you’ll miss your mark.”
My ears roared, and my heart lurched. “How dare you follow me out here?” I hissed.
Gabriel materialized out of the shadowed moonlight. “Forgive me for being concerned.”
My eyes narrowed. “You just want to make sure I don’t leave my pretty prison.”
“Forgive me for wanting you safe,” he said, his words dripping with sarcasm.
“You have never kept me safe!”
He stopped, and his eyes glazed over with sorrow. His next words were soft and sincere. “Forgive me for failing you.”
I tried to shoot him. I wanted to shoot him.
But I didn’t want to kill him. Angry and bitter as I was, the thought of killing him made me sick. To my eternal shame, I had already tried to kill him once upon waking as a vampire, so confused and filled with rage I hadn’t been thinking clearly.
Out of morbid curiosity, I tested the invisible force infused within my cells that protected my creator’s life. The sensation was strange and indescribable. No matter how hard I tried, my body refused to aim at his heart. I was actually physically incapable of it.
I lowered my arm after aiming it toward his shoulder. If I wounded him, I would give in, and indulge in his blood.
“I can never forgive you. Not now,” I said.
He ignored my words and inclined his head toward my shirt. I looked down to see a drop of blood on the hem, small enough that it would have been invisible to the human eye, especially against the black fabric.
“Animal blood cannot quench a vampire’s thirst. You know this,” Gabriel said.
I turned away from him and walked toward the direction of the mansion. “It was worth a shot.”
“There are plenty of blood bags inside. We have many connections to ensure we never run out.”
It was hard to concentrate on his words because of the pain. “What do you think I’m heading toward?” I snapped.
“I can help you.”
I stopped, although I refused to turn around.
“I don’t want your help,” I said.
He was right behind me. His presence was equally angering and intoxicating.
“I know you do not want my help, but I can make your pain stop. You don’t ever have to feel the pain of thirst,” he said.
“You just want my blood so you don’t have to be thirsty,” I scoffed.
His hands gripped my upper arms, and he whirled me around, pulling me to him and applying just enough pressure so that I couldn’t escape.
“I would never drink your blood if it was not what you willed. Even if for every single day of eternity you denied me your blood while I gave you mine, I would respect your wishes and refrain from drinking yours,” he said.
I wouldn’t look at his eyes, so I stared at his shoulder. “You drank my blood when I didn’t will it, Gabriel. You drank from me when I needed you the most.”
He trembled against me.
“Look at me,” he said in a hoarse whisper.
“No.”
“Kara, look at me.”
I closed my eyes.
One of his arms snaked around my back to keep me in place while his other hand gripped my chin and forced my face up.
“Look at me now, or I’ll kiss you. I’ll kiss you and break down every fragile barrier you have managed to build, and then you will not be able to deny me any longer.” His voice became unimaginably soft. “I know you do not want that.”
My eyes opened. His gaze was green fire, and now he wasn’t the only one trembling. His touch, his eyes, his nearness, and my thirst made me horribly aware of the losing battle I was fighting.
“I do not even know what I can say, my heart. I know I broke you, and it’s my fault you are this way. I do not know how to earn your forgiveness when I have failed you so many times. I promised to keep you safe, but I couldn’t. How can I earn your forgiveness after everything I have done? Please, tell me what I can do. Anything you want, just tell me, and I will do it.”
I was going to shatter. My fangs snapped out.
His eyes blazed
