“I know because I have seen the darkest sides of others. No one is as good as they think. All have darkness within them, including you. And knowing that Gabriel can kill you just as easily as he can kiss you . . . That is what draws you to him.”
My eyes snapped open.
“It’s not just because he is your Eternal. You are enthralled by his darkness, smug only you can bring out his light. You saw in his eyes that he once desired to end your life, but he didn’t, and it thrills you knowing that he is capable of it, even if he would never do it. It gives you a rush knowing he would kill any who would harm you. So there it is, the buried truth. You are in love with a killer, and you are loving every minute of it.”
I wanted to put my hands over my ears, but what use was that when the words had already been spoken? I was frozen in horror, or maybe it was shame.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” he pressed.
“Is this a new form of torture?”
“Possibly. No one wants to admit their darkest desires, especially the ‘good’ people like you.”
Silence filled the room, and I surprised myself by being the one to break it this time.
“Maybe I’m better off with you killing me.”
“Why is that?” His voice was akin to someone who was disinterested, but his face belied his indifference.
“I know Gabriel well enough to realize he would have broken his promise to me and turned me at the first sign of aging, disease, or probably even a small injury. You told me that once, remember? You told me that although you would be the one to kill me, Gabriel would be the one to betray me. Gabriel loves me an almost impossible amount. I have felt it, but I have also felt there is something he feels even above loving me, and that is the fear of losing me. He would have turned me eventually.”
I paused, my next words barely audible. “I don’t want to be a vampire. I’m scared of the dark, I don’t want to live forever and I don’t understand why anyone would, and I have felt Gabriel’s heightened emotions. I can’t control my emotions now, so I can’t imagine feeling like that all of the time.”
Elias said nothing. I looked at the dried blood staining me, the floor, and the wall. Elias didn’t seem tempted by my blood in the least.
“How did you know I would never want to become a vampire? That Gabriel would one day betray my trust?”
His face was now cold and unreadable. “Your fear of the dark was the only thing I took from you when I tasted your blood. I assumed it would keep you away from joining the eternal night. Also, Gabriel is inherently selfish. I’m honestly surprised you are still human.”
“I’m just surprised I’m not dead yet,” I replied weakly.
His laughter was strangely without edge as I drifted once more.
***
I woke up. Where was I? Why was I chained? Why was I here?
I fell into darkness before the answers came to me.
***
Silver eyes gleamed at me in the dark. I thought I was supposed to be afraid of them, but they were so pretty. So, so pretty.
“Pretty eyes,” I croaked before curling back up into my ball. “Should be green, though. Should be green.”
The silver eyes spoke. “Are you still aware, Kara? Do you understand what is happening?”
Realization trickled back. “Yes . . . and no,” I replied tiredly, licking cracked and bleeding lips. My head felt like it was going to explode. My fingers were going numb.
“What part of it do you not understand?” He was angry.
“Understand what?” I mumbled.
The light flicked on, and he leaned down toward me. “Are you toying with me?” he hissed.
I shrugged, pain cracking along my bones. “I don’t know.”
And it was true. I could no longer discern reality from dreams. But one thing remained constant. I longed for him.
Gabriel.
***
I saw Miles and Lila. They sat in front of me, smiling.
At first, I just savored seeing them, but then I could bear it no longer, and I had to speak to them.
“I’m sorry,” I told them, my voice now completely unrecognizable. “It was . . . to keep you safe. I had to . . . stay away. But before that . . . I was so cold. . . . I had changed. . . .”
“It’s ok, Kara,” Lila said warmly.
“Yes,” Miles agreed. “You did the right thing.”
“Besides, things are going great for us,” Lila said happily. “School is fantastic, and there is so much to see in London. My roommate and I are already like best friends!”
“I have a girlfriend,” Miles said shyly. “Had you stuck around, I would have just kept waiting on you.”
Equal parts of sadness and happiness filled me at their words. Happy for their happiness, but sad I wasn’t there to share their happiness with them.
“My mother . . . warned me once . . . that even best friends drift apart. . . . I’m sorry it was because of me. But I still wonder . . . was it always destined to be my fault?”
They couldn’t answer. They were gone.
Not too much time passed before Grandma took their place. She sat in her rocking chair, her face serene and her eyes clear.
I looked up at her. “Grandma?”
“Sweet Kara,” she said, her smile soft. “I’m so glad to finally speak to you, remembering you and everything we have shared.”
Tears tried to fill my eyes, but couldn’t. “Me too, Grandma.”
“Remember your hooky days? Oh, I know there were times when you were actually sick, but you weren’t fooling your old Grandma. You were always a sucker for my soaps.”
I laughed. “Nothing like . . . sappy daytime television. Grandma . . . I . . .”
“Say no more, Kara. I know what you want to
