But now he held Gabriel’s love, and she was dying in his arms. Gabriel would finally know the pain he felt, the pain that never left.
Because Gabriel didn’t deserve the quick mercy of death. He deserved an eternity of pain.
Even if Gabriel committed suicide after this, which was very likely to happen, at least he would finally understand. He would feel this pain, at least for a moment.
Elias’s hands tightened on Kara. How many people had he killed? Endless numbers, a blur of blood and death.
So why was he hesitating?
Kara was only a human, just like all the others had been. She looked nothing like Lucy. She certainly acted nothing like Lucy.
Except for her compassion—that was a trait they both shared vehemently.
Elias didn’t want Kara’s pity. He didn’t want her compassion. It angered him that she’d even felt it for him.
What was the matter with her? How could she feel compassion for someone who had tortured her? She really was an idiot. But then again, Kara had fallen in love with Gabriel, so he shouldn’t be surprised that she’d felt compassion for him.
Elias wanted to view her as weak, but doing so would mean Lucy had also been weak, and he could not consider that.
Was it all just an act? He could drink her blood to see, or he could try to wake her up and Control her to tell him the truth, but the dimmest part of him was afraid that Kara truly thought he was evil.
She’d been the first since Lucy to see something else. Jasmina didn’t count; her pity was personal and distant, and just like everyone else, she thought he was a monster. Jasmina had made it very clear that she believed there was nothing inside of him but darkness.
It wasn’t like it was hard to assume that. Yes, he hunted and killed just like most of the vampires in Violet Memory, but the other things he had been accused of? It was easier to be hated and to let others think he had done the unspeakable things he would never willingly inflict on others the way he’d been forced to in Grace’s coven.
Better to confess guilty to lies and rumors so he could keep everyone away. If he was hated, if he cared for no one, he couldn’t be hurt. There was only so much pain someone could handle; that was another reason why he tried to not have much contact with Olivia.
No. He couldn’t think about Olivia. Olivia did not belong in his life. She did not belong in his world.
It was revenge he focused on. Revenge was the only thing worth living for.
So why the hesitation?
Disgusted with himself, he put Kara aside and waited for her to die.
Minutes ticked by, her heart beating fainter and slower. She barely breathed. He could hear how hard her heart was trying to keep her alive.
He studied her. He had thought he would feel . . . happier? More relieved?
“Lucy would hate you if she saw you now!”
The words resonated throughout his mind, tearing at him. He knew that. He had known that for centuries. But what did it matter as long as Gabriel finally understood?
“Elias . . . don’t do this! It won’t bring her back!”
Bring her back. . . . Why even consider it? How long had he waited for this?
But was Kara right?
Was there something of Lucy left inside of him, a part of her soul that had latched to his before she’d died? Some of her light? Lucy’s soul had been a mirror image of his own. That didn't mean they’d been the same person, but it did mean they’d belonged together.
So was it Kara of all people who could help him find that small piece of Lucy hidden deep in the darkness? Was there really something more than this never-ending hatred?
If Kara stayed alive, he could find out. If there was truly nothing left or if he changed his mind, he could always kill her later. . . .
Hardly even aware of his actions, Elias cursed before kneeling over Kara. He propped her up against him before tearing deeply into his wrist with his fangs, deep enough to see bone, and he forced the blood into her mouth, rubbing her throat to make the liquid go down. He also dripped it over the open wound on her shoulder. With heightened eyes, he watched his blood trickle into her body. The shoulder wouldn’t heal, but everything else, including her dehydrated state, would.
He listened to her heart as it forced his blood to spread throughout her body. He had given her a copious amount of blood, enough that he actually felt dizzy. His throat burned in protest.
He had given her enough blood to form a blood connection.
What had he done?
Shocked by his actions, he barely heard the door open. Scarcely saw the flash of green and black that came toward him. Only faintly felt the sting of the stake inside his chest, an inch away from his heart.
But he did hear the sharp intake of breath that came from the red-haired human on the floor.
Kara was still alive.
***
Just like that night under a sea of stars when Gabriel had forced his blood into me, I felt life pulse through me. But there was no time to be grateful. There was no time to think.
I turned my head toward the fighting. Two shadows were a blur of black and blood, throwing one another against the walls and the floor. Pinpoints of bright silver and green swirled within the depths of the fight.
My eyes could not truly follow the movements, but I focused on the green as best as I could.
“Gabriel!” I screamed.
Gabriel stopped, his face a mixture of agony and hatred. Elias, bloody and disheveled, took his chance and went toward me.
My memories of the past days were muddy and strange, but there was a deep instinct inside of me that wasn’t wrong; I
