Going to his room, John found Eva on the bed, gently rocking Mathew as tears rolled down her face.
“What am I doing, John?” she whispered as she looked up at him. “I’ve no idea how to be a mother. Sometimes I can’t even look after myself.”
“We’ll figure it out,” he murmured, climbing onto the bed and wrapping them both into his arms.
“How can you be so sure?” she mumbled, turning her face into his chest. “We haven’t even begun to know each other, and I’m a complete mess. Maybe he would be better off with Melody.” Mathew whimpered. “She’d be the better mom. I just couldn’t listen to him cry anymore and watch it tear you apart.” She sniffed loudly. “Damn it, why do I keep crying?”
Laughing gently, John sat back slightly and cupped her face with one hand, swiping his thumb across the tears tumbling down her face. “Women cry.” He shrugged.
“I heard what Melody said,” Eva admitted. “She’s right. I’m not your mate. Maybe you’d be better with your own kind.”
John’s grip on her tightened as his breath froze in his lungs. “You’re my mate, Evaline.”
She shook her head, eyes glassy and sad. “Not like the other couples here. I’ve heard them talking about the mating bond like it’s some magical connection. We don’t have that.”
“Not yet, but we will when you’re ready.”
“Me?” she asked, fear clouding her eyes.
With a smile, John kissed her softly, before gazing down at Mathew, who’d stopped crying and was peering up at them both, his face blotchy.
“Yes, you. If it was left up to me, it would have snapped into place the second I laid eyes on you.”
“Just like that,” she whispered. “That quickly you knew?”
“Yeah. Took me a little longer to accept it though,” he admitted. “I’m not fearless, Eva. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know I’ll love you for all of time.”
Eva’s face screwed up suddenly. “Eww! Matty, you peed on me.” Shuffling off the bed, she held him at arm’s length. “We need diapers, John. So gross. It’s all warm. Eww!” She laughed.
John took her in, the laughter on her lips, tears glistening on her skin, jeans wet and a giggling Mathew in her arms, and somehow, he knew in his heart they’d be okay.
They had to be. They were a family now.
“I’ll go find some,” he said, biting his lip to keep from laughing.
“Come on, you. You need another bath,” Eva said, marching Mathew out of the room, still at arm’s length. “And clothes, John, he needs clean clothes.”
Leaving Eva to it, John walked out of the cabin and tipped his head to the sky. Clothes, diapers… what else do two-year-old’s need? Turning left, he did what any other man would do in the same situation. He went to see his mother.
***
It turned out his mother was a hoarder and had somehow managed to keep what seemed like everything from his childhood packed in boxes, which had, by some miracle, survived the fire and everything else Dark Shadow had been through.
He’d left armed with clothes, and toys, and things he had no idea the use of, and a promise to bring Eva around to meet her. Apparently, the pack’s gossip line wasn’t good enough for her. His news had to come straight from his mouth in the future.
Later that night, he laid Mathew asleep on the bed in the spare room, wearing a pair of faded train pajamas, which had once been his. John hugged Eva close to his side, and they watched Mathew’s little chest gently lift up and down.
“Are we really doing this?” Eva whispered.
“It appears so.”
“I’m terrified,” she admitted.
Turning her, John looked down at his woman, who was far stronger and braver than she gave herself credit for, and whose heart, although broken from the loss of her mother, had found the strength to let in a little boy who’d called out in need.
“I’m terrified too,” he whispered. Bending, he kissed her. “We can be terrified together.”
That night, he slept with her head on his chest, her limbs tangled with his and his heart as full as it could get. At some point, he registered movement in the room, then a light weight joined them on the bed, and John’s heart surprised him again, expanding to the point of pain. Mathew wiggled between them, Eva’s arm automatically curling around his small frame, and Mathew became the glue that held them all together.
Chapter 31
Eva
Being woke by little fingers prodding her face was both beautiful and strange. But the strangeness soon faded away as she shifted to find John awake and watching them with eyes shiny with emotion.
“Can I do this forever?” he asked softly.
Mathew wiggled and sat up, patting his stomach.
Eva smiled, her gaze meeting John’s. “Seems not. You’ve got to go hunt and gather.”
Growling low, John made a scary face. “Rabbit or deer?”
Mathew returned the noise, his squeak of a growl the cutest thing Eva had ever heard.
“I was thinking more like pancakes or Pop-Tarts.” Her nose wrinkled up. “Go hunt in the pack kitchen.”
“Got it.” John climbed out of bed, blowing her a kiss as he headed out the door, doing up the jeans he’d just pulled on, a shirt in his hand. “Be right back.”
Mathew jumped into John’s space, seeming to roll about in his spot more like a cat than a canine. “You know,” Eva said, moving onto her
