Like hell I will.
Jiston studies us both, but I can see it in his face that he`s going to cave. He`s scared of being sued.
„Okay, fine. I don`t usually give out my sources, but I`ll make an exception because I`m such a fan.”
I manage not to roll my eyes. Barely.
„Her name is Julie Dodd.”
It wasn`t Sophie. I`m both relieved and petrified. God, I`m going to have to grovel like hell to get her to forgive me.
„Who the hell is Julie Dodd?” Simon asks since I`m too paralyzed to do it myself.
„Said she`s a receptionist at your doctor`s office. She had a fling with him, but he went back to his wife, so she decided to get a bit of revenge on him. Pillow talk, it`ll get a man every time.”
Sophie
It`s Tuesday night, and I wish I could say that I`m feeling much better after almost 24 hours of crying, but I can`t. I`m still just as raw as I was yesterday.
I`ve had a short visit from Ema, during which she assured me she believed in my innocence. If only her brother had been as sure as she was.
Both Gwen and Sam had texted me all day, asking how I was until I finally broke down and asked them, as nicely as possible, to leave me the hell alone.
I`m in my oldest most comfiest sweats, and my hair is in the messiest of messy buns, and I`m eating chocolate fudge ice-cream straight out of the carton: cliche but whatever.
When my doorbell rings, I debate ignoring it, but I don`t want Sam or Gwen to worry, so I go to the peep-hole to see which one of them it is. I`m betting on Gwen. Hey, maybe she has junk food.
I`m not prepared to see Max through the peep-hole, so when I do, I back away suddenly, my right hand going straight to my mouth.
What the hell is he doing here?
„Sweetheart, I know you`re in there. I saw someone looking through the peep-hole.”
I glare at the door like he could see me through it.
I should let him in, that`s what I should do. Let him have a piece of my mind. I mean, why should I be hiding? I didn`t do anything wrong.
Before I can think better of it, I open the door, glare firmly in place.
„What do you want?”
He looks like hell. He has dark circles under his eyes, his skin is pale, and his hair looks like it`s never seen a comb in its life.
Unfortunately, to me, he still looks beautiful. The asshole.
„Hey. Can I come in?”
„Why would I let you come in?”
„Because I need to apologize, and you`re not the kind of person who would force me to do it in your hallway.”
„Oh, right now, I might just be that kind of person.”
„Please, sweetheart.”
Again, I wish I could say he didn`t get to me. But he did.
I step to the side and gestured for him to come in. He does it quickly, like he`s scared I might change my mind. Smart guy.
He looks around my small apartment, his hands in his pockets, and he looks so vulnerable that, for a moment, I want to go and hug him. Thankfully sanity returns before I do such an idiotic thing.
„Your apartment looks nice.”
„It`s tiny, and it`s full of miss-matched furniture, I`m sure it`s your dream house,” I tell him, snark firmly in place.
He looks like I kicked him, and again I have to keep myself in check so that I don`t throw myself into his arms. Have I mentioned I`m stupid?
„I`m sorry about yesterday, sweetheart. I acted like an idiot, and I hurt you.”
I can feel my eyes welling up, and I`m so annoyed with myself. I don`t want him to see me cry.
„Why the change of heart? You seemed pretty sure of my guilt yesterday.”
„I got drunk last night, really drunk. When I got up this morning, even though I felt like crap, things were a lot clearer. I realized you couldn`t have betrayed me like that, so I went and got the truth from the guy who wrote the article. My doctor`s receptionist was the one who gave him the information.”
„So, until he told you who it was, you still believed it could have been me,” I can hear the disappointment in my voice.
„I needed to be sure, Sophie. Please try to understand, people knowing about the Fentanyl was my worst fear. I worked so hard to get to where I am today, and it seemed like it could all go to hell because of a simple mistake. It obsessed me. Then it happened, and it`s like I froze .Everything came tumbling down on me, and I just stood there frozen into place. The next morning, when my mind was clearer, I realized that losing you, not having you there with me, was much worse than anything that could happen to my career. But I had to be sure, sweetheart. Please try and understand.”
He looks so tired and sad and alone, but even though I understand a little bit more about why he reacted the way he did, it doesn't change how I feel.
„You made me feel like I meant nothing to you.”
His face gets even more pale, and he looks like I slapped him.
„Sweetheart...”
„No, you need to hear this. I heard you out, and now you need to do the same.”
He looks like he wants to argue, but he seems to realize I`m determined because he finally nods.
„I understand how you feel about football, about your career, I do, but how you reacted the other day... I can`t accept that. You wouldn`t hear me out, you turned your back on me and acted like I wasn`t there, acted like we weren`t in bed together just a couple of minutes before. I became a stranger, and I won`t be treated that way. I think you know I`m in love with you, how could
