„That`s not what happened. God, I didn`t mean to make you feel like that. I told you, I was frozen or in shock or whatever you want to call it, and that`s why I acted the way I did.”
I want to believe him, I want to be content with that explanation, but I`m not. That feeling of being insignificant is still there, and I don`t think him saying I`m sorry is going to fix it.
„It`s not enough. I`m sorry, but it`s just not enough for you to say I`m sorry.”
„What do you need me to do then? How can I make this right? Sweetheart, please, I need you.”
The look in his eyes. God, he looks like he`s in pain, but I can`t get over that awful feeling.
„I don`t know what you should do; I really don`t.”
„I lo...”
„No, don`t say it. If you say it now, it would just seem like a sort of apology, a way to get me to forgive you.”
His frustration is as clear as day, but he does as I say.
„Listen, maybe we should take this one day at a time. We could start by being friends again,” I say even though the thought of being just his friend seems wrong.
He doesn't seem any more pleased with the idea than I am.
„Friends? I don`t know if I can go back to being just your friend Sophie.”
„Well, that`s the best I can do for now.”
He lets out a frustrated sigh, which I can honestly relate to. To tell you the truth, I`m feeling a little frustrated with myself as well, but it would seem that I can hold a mean grudge, and he should seriously take note of that for the future.
It`s like he reads my mind because he shakes his head.
„God, Sophie, I need to make sure I don`t upset you in the future. You`re killing me right now, sweetheart.”
„You hurt me, Max.”
I don`t say any more; I don`t need to. I think he understands me.
„I suppose you coming back to live with me is out of the question, isn`t it?”
„Totally out of the question. As I said, we can try to start over, but that`s about as much as I can offer right now.”
Chapter 15
Max
I hate my life. No, that`s not true. I don`t hate my life, but I do hate the fact that I`ve landed myself in this situation.
How the hell did I end up playing friend to the woman I love?
It`s been two weeks since the clusterfuck with the fricking article about my so-called drug problem, and, surprisingly enough, my career hasn`t suffered too much from it. There were a few fans that declared themselves disappointed in me, but thanks to Simon`s brilliant PR work the whole thing died down fast. The fear I lived with for two months was a lot worse than the fallout.
If only winning Sophie back were that easy.
We`ve been hanging out, going to the movies, and coffee dates, but we`re nowhere near where we were before.
I`m trying very hard to be patient, but I don`t know how much more I can wait.
When she first told me she wanted us to start again as friends and go from there, I didn`t like it, but I didn`t think it would be this hard. I want to hold her, kiss her, and I especially want her living with me again. The house is empty without her, hardly a home anymore. I don`t know how she became so essential to me in such a short amount of time, but she most definitely is.
I need to make this right again, but I`m not sure what to do, so I`m getting out the big guns: Simon and Ema. I`ve asked them both to come over to my house for a meeting because they are now officially a part of the get Sophie to forgive me, team.
They arrive together, and I hear my sister`s irritated voice.
„She is a classic, and like all classics, she has a temper.”
„That car is a bloody pile of rust, that`s what it is. Your brother can very well afford to buy you a new car, I`ll bloody well buy you a new car, but that thing needs to go.”
My sister lets out a sound that is both a huff and a shriek, which is rather impressive.
„You`re not going anywhere near my car, Simon Masters. I swear to God I`ll kick your pompous English ass all the way to London if you try.”
Ok, time to step in.
„Children, children, what did I tell you about fighting in the house.”
„That thing your sister insists on driving is a hazard. Its place is in the junkyard.”
„How dare you!”
„Oh, for fuck`s sake, will you two stop it. I called you here because I need your help not because I was interested in hearing you two bicker.”
That gets their attention because they both look at me with interest.
„What do you need help with?” Ema asks
„I need you two to help me figure out how to get Sophie to forgive me. This whole being her friend thing is not cutting it for me. I need her to come back home.”
Two months ago, I would never allow myself to show so much vulnerability, but right now, I`m beyond caring. I need to get my girl back.
„Oh, honey, I`m so proud of you. Buttercup, can you believe my grumpy brother`s in love?”
Simon smiles affectionately at her.
„I can see that, love. He does, however, need help since he kind of fucked-up big time.”
Ema sighs unhappily and gives me a reproachful glare.
„You did fuckup, Max. I still can`t believe you were so stupid.”
„Yes, love, he knows, let`s try to move past that.”
„Thank you, Simon. Now, Ema, I`m especially counting on you, as the female in our team, to give me helpful tips on how to make this right.”
My sister`s frown of concentration would be funny if I weren`t so tense.
„Ok, all right,
