The fairy flutters off Bryenna’s shoulder, hovering in front of my face. She’s a cute little fairy with her blue tipped hair and a tiny nose ring. “Are you sure?” she asks in a light voice with sadness in her eyes. Nodding my consent, Ronnie shouts, “No, wait,” while Brooke blows a handful of glittering dust in my face.
Euphoria over takes me. My head and shoulders drop with the release of the tension that has built up over the past few days. The never-ending stabbing pain in my heart and my brain float away from my body in a dark cloud I can see with my eyes. A peace settles in my mind while I feel a shell harden around my heart.
“Thank you,” I say to Brooke. Sadly, with tears trickling down her little cheeks, she nods her head and flies back over to Bryenna’s shoulder.
Grabbing my hands, Shayden says, “If you ever need to contact us, Esmeralda knows how to find us. Bless’ed Be, Tensanne. May your future be everything you need it to be.” Smiling with sadness hidden underneath, they leave.
“How do you feel?” Ronnie asks nervously, fluttering her hands over my body searching for a sign of damage.
“I feel like the weight of the world has been removed from me. I feel free. Now help me pack, I’m going home with my mom,” I insist smiling, shooing away her hands, feeling better than I have in days.
Chapter Thirty-One
Sometimes I wonder if we are all living a real-life game of The Sims, where someone is clicking away to determine our destiny.
—Tensanne to her mom
Tensanne
ALL MY THINGS have been packed away in boxes and loaded in mom’s car. The last thing I need to do is go to the admissions office to plan my education at home.
Dr. Parker is waiting for me inside the Dean’s office.
His mouth in a grim line, “I asked you to be careful with who you trust, Tensanne,” he says.
“I know, Dr. P, and I thought I was,” I say cringing at the disappointment in his eyes. “I’m not ready for campus life. I will still get my degree; I will still be the best cognitive psychologist I can be.”
“I have no doubt that you will, Miss Craig. I can’t wait to see the medical strides you will make.”
“Miss Craig, I have you all set to begin your classes online,” the Dean says. “I’m sorry that your experience here has been so rough.”
“Thank you, both of you. This is an experience I will carry with me always, the good and the bad,” I say walking toward the door.
“Oh, Tensanne?” Dr. Parker calls.
“Yes, Dr. P?”
“I need to apologize. I asked Mr. Black if he would befriend you. I thought I was doing a good thing. He seemed like a genuine young man and he fooled me into believing that he would be a good friend to you. I never guessed it would lead to something like this.”
Shaking my head, “I thought he was a good friend too, Dr. P until he proved he wasn’t. I know you had good intentions. Sometimes, even the best in people can’t outweigh the evil living inside,” I reply sadly.
“To ease your mind, all of the videos have disappeared from the internet.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. I didn’t have anything to do with it. I thought I would let you know that they were gone.”
“Goodbye, Dr. Parker, Dean,” I say leaving the office and the building for the last time. I don’t know how the videos disappeared and I’m glad they’re gone but the damage has already been done. There is no way I can remain in this school when almost everyone has seen all of me.
Ronnie leans against Mom’s car, waiting. After many tears and hugs, she begrudgingly lets me go. “Promise you’ll text and call? Promise I can come visit you?” she asks as tears stream down her cheeks.
Hugging her tightly, I reassure her we will never lose each other.
“I know you don’t want this right now, but maybe someday you will,” she says, handing me an envelope she’s holding.
Taking it, I stuff it in my bag. I have no interest in reading the words. I recognize the scrawling script on the front, I know it’s from Kohl. I’m sure it’s his attempt at explaining himself and I don’t have any fucks left to give for him. I’m leaving this campus and this experience behind me with a clear head and a healed heart knowing I will never be hurt this way again.
Once we reach her home, Mom helps me carry all my things into a room she has designated as mine. After I have everything unpacked, I tuck the letter in my top drawer where I know it will be safe but will not be taunting me to read it. Maybe someday I will want to know why he did what he did and hopefully this letter will hold the answers but for now, I just want to forget the last few months and attempt to move forward.
Mom explains that she is trying to mend fences with Dad. She still loves him but she has changed so much, she’s not sure if they can recapture what they had. She’s been visiting him again at his lab, coaxing him to at least come outside and sit with her. She’s hoping they can get to know each other again.
Over the next few weeks, she plays the same songs over and over. She calls it, ‘Ten’s Heart Healing Tune’s’. The sounds of, I’m Still Standing, Fighter, Beat It, along with other songs from the eighties and nineties fills the house daily. She’s a huge believer in music therapy, encouraging me to be infused and empowered by the words.
Day by day, I send my memories of Kohl to the dark recesses
