It felt as if a ripple of static electricity slid over her skin as he came closer to her. Oh yes, she wanted to touch him, just as badly as a heroin addict craves their next hit, and with as much knowledge the next hit might kill her.
"I have to go," she gushed out and turned and bolted from the room.
She felt like a child as she fled into her bedroom and quietly closed the door. Her hands shook as fresh tears streamed down her face. What an awful mess all of this was, what an awful, heartbreaking mess.
And yes, as she stood there leaning against the door and weeping uncontrollably, she realized that was exactly what this was. For the first time in her life, her heart was shattering.
Emma let her hair drop back down before plopping onto the bed beside Jill and Mandy. She couldn't do anything with it anyway, and right now she didn't care. Her eyes were still bloodshot, and felt as if someone had thrown sand into them. She'd barely slept last night, she didn't look much better than she felt, and her hair was not cooperating with her at all.
She turned back to her friends, it was on the tip of her tongue to tell them what Ethan revealed to her yesterday about mates, but she held back. Though she didn't understand it, she knew his revelation was something extremely private. He’d spoken of a bond that went even deeper than human love, and he wouldn't appreciate it being shared with others.
"I'd like to get out of this house if only for an hour," she muttered.
"I don't see why we can't, there are still plenty of daylight hours left for us to enjoy," Jill said cheerfully.
Emma stared at the balcony doors as she thought over those words. "The humans they control can move about in the daytime though."
"I'm not saying we go out there alone, I'd like to keep you alive, but our vampires are completely capable of moving about in the sunlight."
"Our vampires?" Mandy asked.
Jill tossed back her hair as she flashed a smile. "I wouldn't mind making one of them mine for at least a night or two."
"You're incorrigible," Emma told her.
"Have you seen his brothers, I'm only human after all."
Emma shook her head. "Yes, you are, and you're annoyingly accepting of the fact they could eat you in the middle of the night."
Jill waved her hand dismissively. "You're still alive, so I'm sure I'll survive."
Emma couldn't help but laugh at Jill's cavalier attitude as her friend fairly bounced on the bed.
"But we have to get out of this house before we all start to go stir crazy and try to kill each other,” Jill said.
Emma agreed as she walked over to the mirror and tugged her hair into a loose knot against the nape of her neck. There was nothing she could do about her eyes, so she grabbed a pair of tinted aviator sunglasses and slipped them on. It wasn't much of an improvement, but at least she didn't look like she'd just been on a weeklong bender anymore.
"Let's go see if we can get an escort out of this place," Mandy said and climbed to her feet.
Emma took a deep breath and braced herself before opening the door. She felt like a kid trying to catch Santa, but after the events of last night, she wasn't sure how well she was going to be received by Ethan. She wasn't surprised to find all of them gathered on the patio. Ethan was leaning back in his chair, legs out before him, and his arms crossed over his chest. A pair of black sunglasses covered his eyes, and though she couldn't see them, she felt it the instant they landed on her.
Any words she'd been about to utter died. Thankfully, Jill wasn't as easily overwhelmed by a man as she was. "We were hoping to get out of this house for a bit," Jill said.
Ethan remained silent as his gaze stayed locked on Emma. It was taking everything he had not to fall apart, not to give in to the spiraling pit of madness he felt opening just beneath his feet. The sight of her helped take away the edge of his impending insanity. But like the whiskey, it was only a temporary fix, one that would only dull the agony until his mind splintered apart and he would finally have to be put down. It was a conversation he planned to have with Stefan and Brian when Brian finally arrived; it was time to face the reality he may have to be destroyed when all this was over.
If not beforehand...
No, he would keep his sanity until he ensured her safety. He could keep control of himself long enough for that to happen, or at least he hoped he could. Even now he could feel the monster within him slithering through his mind, urging him to take her, to change her, to ease his misery and screw the consequences. She would forgive him over time; she would have no other choice if he completed the bond. He would never forgive himself though, and he loved her too much to violate her in such a way.
"I think that might be a good idea. I wouldn't mind checking out some things," Aiden said.
He loved his siblings, but there were times when he would really like to choke them. His jaw locked as his gaze slid toward Aiden. "So would I," Ian said.
"It's too dangerous," Ethan grated out from between his teeth.
"No more dangerous than in here. You said yourself they can’t move around in the daylight," Ian reminded him.
"There are more humans out there; any one of them could be under Tristan's influence."
"And any one of them could try and get in here," Jill pointed out. "As long as we
