“But to Pat, growing up, it wasn’t just mom and dad to look up to. He also had me. I can’t say that my love life was as clear cut as mom and dad’s, alas.” A soft smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I said that. One that wasn’t quite bittersweet, but perhaps along the same lines.
Pat glanced at Helena. It made me smile. Helena had played a large part in Pat’s life and I wanted to give her credit where it was due. “Still, I think that we can all agree that Helena giving up her best friend for Pat to marry shows dedication,” I joked, pleased when that earned a laugh from everyone, including Helena and Charlotte.
“To me, love has been very different from what our parents had. And different from Pat and Charlotte’s relationship, too. It’s been challenging, mostly because of me, but it’s also been good. I think that that’s something Pat has always appreciated.” The way my brother nodded made me smile.
“But importantly, and our mom will very much insist on this,” I teased, glancing at her. “Pat has taken all these different experiences he’s seen and he’s put them together, building something that works for him. And for Charlotte.
“So today, I ask you to raise your glasses,” I said, raising my own. “Raise your glasses and celebrate Pat and Charlotte’s love, the promises they make to each other, and the way we can all take a little piece of it and learn to use it to build our own love stories.” Turning back to the happy couple, I smiled widely at them. “To the happy couple!”
Taking a sip, I just about managed not to give a deep exhale. There were cheers, so I assumed the speech had gone well. Mom was still crying; that probably wasn’t an indication of very much.
Pat, however, got up to hug me. And that? That meant a lot.
He whispered a ‘thanks’ in my ear and we exchanged some very manly ‘I love yous’ before Charlotte hugged me, too. It had gone well! And thankfully, I only had one brother. It was unlikely I’d have to give another speech like it.
There were a few more speeches, but none as long as mine. The evening proceeded with cake-cutting and dancing. As people started to mingle and Pat and Charlotte left to dance, I found myself at the head table with only Helena there.
“Thank you,” I told her gently, moving my chair closer so we could talk over the music. “It... went okay, yeah?”
Her eyes were shining. Even without words, that reassured me. Helena had always supported me, but that had never meant telling me my work was good when it wasn’t. Her method of support had been to talk me honestly through my weaknesses, showing me where I could improve.
“It was beautiful, Sam,” she sighed. “I’ve never heard a more perfect wedding speech.”
I believed that she was telling me the truth.
“What you said, about building our own love stories…” She trailed off, lifting her wine to her lips without actually taking a single sip.
I’d meant it.
Having Helena help me with this speech had inspired it a lot. It had made me think about love. Not just what Helena and I had shared, but also what I’d had with Becca and even Kelly. Outside of my own experiences, there were also the love lives of my teammates, watching them fall in love one after the other.
All of those experiences, I had realized, shaped the way I thought about love. What I wanted, what I hoped for.
And those thoughts made me look at Helena. Not who Helena used to be or the Helena I fell in love with when I was sixteen, but the Helena now. The Helena who was all of those things but also so much more.
“I’m glad you liked it. I hope it wasn’t... too much. I... I wanted to thank you. For being in Pat’s life even after we broke up. I know you mean a lot to him, not just because of Charlotte. He’s always viewed you as an older sister.”
Helena’s eyes widened, like she’d truly been startled by what I said. “You don’t have to thank me for that,” she said, glancing down at the napkin still in her lap. “You would’ve done the same, if you and Kate had been friends.”
Maybe that was true. Or maybe it wasn’t. There wasn’t a lot I could have done from Salt Lake. Moving back had never been an option I’d considered. Helena hadn’t moved home for Pat, but all the same, she had moved home. And she had stayed in touch with my family.
“We didn’t break up on bad terms,” Helena pointed out. “I know we had fights, but it was never because you did anything to hurt me.”
It was true. Our break up had been more mutual than anything else, but it hardly meant that Helena would have had to stay in touch with my family. Of course, on the other hand, I wouldn’t have wanted her not to just because we had broken up. It was a tricky situation.
“Well, I’m still glad.” I shrugged. “Anyway, before this conversation becomes too awkward, do you want to dance?” I asked, nodding at the dance floor. I found myself very much hoping that Helena would want to dance with me.
Charlotte and Pat were already on the dancefloor, turning graceful circles in the midst of a crowd of other couples. My mind raced back to the night Helena had come into my life, when I’d asked her to teach me to dance.
Hopefully, in the intervening years, I hadn’t
