With the dancefloor being somewhat busy, no one paid us any attention. Not that people would anyway. We were the best man and the maid of honor, it was expected that we’d dance.
Taking Helena’s hand, I waited for her to settle her other one on my shoulder. My hand felt huge against her slight side. It felt different than it had when we’d been teenagers, but that different was definitely not bad.
As a new song began, we moved with the music. If I focused on it, it was almost possible to forget that anything but Helena and I existed. And for the length of this song, and maybe the next one, that seemed pretty perfect.
Chapter Sixteen
Helena
I didn’t realize how much I’d been on maid-of-honor duty until, suddenly, I wasn’t. The reception had been fun, chatting with Pat’s other groomsmen, watching both sets of parents getting emotional, dancing with Charlotte to celebrate her becoming a wife.
It was only when she and Pat left, Charlotte’s poofy white dress carefully bundled into the back seat of her dad’s car, that I had the chance to let my attention drift. It felt… strange. All day, my focus had been intently on Charlotte, keeping my eyes and ears out for anything she might need.
It was my job, as maid of honor. And I didn’t mind. One day, Charlotte would do the same for me. But there was still a strain that had barely made itself felt until it was gone.
Now that Charlotte and Pat were winding their way towards their new house, it was time to relax and party!
Ordering two drinks from the bar, I skirted the edges of the dancefloor until I found who I was looking for.
Sam was probably as relieved as I felt. He, too, had been attending to someone else all day. Now it was time for us to take a breather. “So, how did it go?” I asked, handing him the second drink.
At his blank look, I continued. “Telling Pat about the window, I mean.”
Offering me a thanks for the drink, Sam gave a small shrug. “Not too bad. I could have told him anything today and Pat would’ve been too happy to care,” he laughed. “I did tell him that we changed the sheets and that you’ve stocked the fridge. Pat was excited about the prospect of cheese,” Sam informed me with a grin.
I doubted that was quite true but it made me laugh nonetheless. “You enjoy the wedding?” Sam asked. “It’s nice to be done with my best man duties. As much as I do love Pat, it’s a bit stressful.”
It so exactly mirrored my own thoughts that I nodded without even thinking about it. “Yeah, it was hard to relax feeling like I had to keep one eye on Charlotte.” Even though there was minimal chance of something going wrong, I wanted Charlotte to have the perfect wedding she deserved.
And now that she had, I could feel the muscles in my shoulders relaxing. “You did your duties brilliantly.” It was an echo of my earlier statement. Bits of Sam’s speech still chased each other around and around in my head.
My parents had never loved each other as obviously as Sam’s did. And I wondered, now, how that had affected the kind of love stories I might write for myself.
Mom and dad’s goals in life had always been aligned. Unlike Sam’s and mine, they’d never argued over where they would live, or what kind of life.
But if Sam’s parents had ever disagreed about that kind of thing, I felt like they would find a way to overcome it.
“What did you mean, when you said love had been challenging because of you?” I asked, sipping my drink too quickly.
The look Sam gave me seemed almost skeptical. But he didn’t say that. Instead, Sam shrugged. “For us, it was my presumption that you would just move with me wherever my job would take me. For Kelly and I, it was that neither of us was ready for a relationship. With Becca, we wanted different things, I wanted to settle down and have a family; she didn’t.”
It was kind of nice - and kind of weird - that Sam listed all of his girlfriends. It was fair, of course. I’d had relationships after him and he’d had them, too. It was interesting to hear how there had been different reasons with each person. I supposed that was true for me, too.
“What about you?” he asked, drawing me out of my thoughts. “What do you feel you’ve learned from your relationships?”
It wasn’t a question I’d been expecting, on Charlotte’s wedding day. Fortunately, Sam had always been good at giving me time to think. And good at listening when I had to say anything personal.
“I suppose, with you, I learned that it’s not always easy to predict what life is going to be like.” I, too, had presumed that I would move with Sam. Had presumed that taking the bar exam in different states every few years would be an effort I was willing to make.
I gave a slightly sad smile. “And I learned that when I realize I’m wrong about it, I have to say something.” I’d kept it to myself with Sam, not wanting us to fight, afraid what the consequences would be.
Not telling him hadn’t made it any easier for us to stay together.
“With Louis, I learned that there’s such a thing as having dreams that are too similar.” In many ways, Louis had been the opposite of Sam. He’d been similar to me, interested in the same things, the same kind of life. And my parents had loved him.
“There was nothing to keep it interesting.”
