Kelsey abruptly stopped, about ten feet away, and she turned her head back to me, her dark eyes twinkling. “Oh, could you do me a favor? If you see a bridge, jump off it—or invite me along so I can push you off it.” And that was the last thing she said to me before leaving.
Leaving me. Leaving me a type of crushed I’d never felt before, not even last year, after I found out Mel had tried to kill herself because of what I did, because of Dean, because of my fraternity ‘brothers.’
I could’ve run to her, could’ve tried harder to explain the truth. I could’ve gotten on my knees and begged her to give me another chance, but that wasn’t me. I didn’t beg. I didn’t run and frantically try to explain things I shouldn’t have to explain.
If Dean had taped us, that meant there was a camera somewhere in my room. If Dean had taped me and Kelsey, I could only imagine who else he’d taped, other rooms in the house, other unknowing girls who bared it all for the camera without knowing.
Really, with what I did last year, me not caring enough, this was what I deserved. I didn’t deserve to have Kelsey, to be happy. This was payback, karma for what happened with Mel, for the life she’d almost taken because I was the world’s biggest dick to her, all to stay in Sigma Chi, to get my mom off my back.
No. I’d merely been playing with fire every second I was with Kelsey. All along I’d known, but I’d went for her anyways. She was better off without me, and me? This low, aching hurt would eventually go away in time. I’d get used to it. I’d learn to ignore it.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
At this point, I didn’t know what to do. Play it cool? Act as if Dean hadn’t gotten to me? Pretend that this…breakup that wasn’t really a breakup since we weren’t technically dating? I had no idea what the best course of action was, but I knew one thing for sure.
I was going to kill that motherfucker. I was going to get back at him in the worst way for doing this to me, to Kelsey. I couldn’t imagine how she felt. I hadn’t seen the video, but I knew it didn’t paint her in a good light. A slut, a whore. I tried not to use those words, but I knew other people still used them frequently.
She was the one who deserved better. I’d been a fool for thinking that we could be together.
A fucking fool.
Chapter Eighteen – Kelsey
God, I really needed to get out of this campus for a little while.
That thought constantly replayed in my head over and over, intensifying when classes resumed the next Monday. I tried my hardest not to think about what happened, not to picture the look on Levi’s face when I walked away, but it was impossible.
That guy…the asshole, he’d looked shocked. Flabbergasted. He’d looked like he wasn’t expecting me to walk away, like he thought he had me forever, like I didn’t have enough of a spine to put my foot down, tell him fuck you, and walk away like any self-respecting bitch would have when caught in a similar situation.
Some girls might not, I knew, like Mel. Mel wasn’t that strong. She needed people to back her up, people to remind her what was smart and what was stupid. Me? I’d known all along something could go wrong with Levi because he was friends with Dean, but a secret, tiny part of me had hoped desperately that I’d be wrong.
Normally I loved being right. Normally I reveled in me being right, but not now. When it came to this, I couldn’t have hated being right more. This was literally the one situation that I’d gladly take being wrong about.
My bio professor did not ask why I wanted a seat change, not since I said personal reasons—and probably because I’d threatened to go to above his head if he refused. I may have mentioned the Me Too movement, which I thought he’d understand, help him know the situation without me having to really tell him all of the details.
My new lab partner was a girl named Felicity. She seemed nice enough, and even though she had to switch partners, she didn’t seem too upset about it. She’d claimed her old partner was stupid anyway, so she’d be better off with me—I, of course, neglected to tell her that biology was my worst subject and that I hated experiments. It just meant I’d have to try harder in class, that’s all, since our grades were linked.
Levi didn’t show up to the first lab after the incident, which was just fine. It wasn’t like I wanted to see his stupid face anyways. His stupid, sexy as hell face which a part of me still adored and wanted to cover in chocolate and lick off.
Not thoughts I should be having about that asshole.
The days honestly passed in a blur, and I was too upset to even talk to Ash about it. Ash had felt more distant as the semester wore on, and I…I feared I dug myself a hole I had to crawl out of myself.
Fuck Levi. Fuck everyone. Fuck literally everyone else on this campus except for Mel. Mel was the only one who I could trust, and yet I
