“Mel,” I said, causing her eyes to look up. “What are you doing here?” This was the last place she should be, so close to Sigma Chi, so close to Dean. Dean was either inside the house or still at his classes for the day, otherwise I knew he’d be out here with her. He might be the biggest tool around, but he still held a flame for her.
He was toxic, but even toxic people could love.
“I was waiting for you, actually,” Mel spoke, a sad look in her eyes. I hadn’t seen her in months, but I knew…I knew what happened. I knew that she’d tried to kill herself last year. What I did, combined with what Dean had done before—it was too much for her. Too much for her to handle.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“I know.” She tossed a look over her shoulder, as if expecting Dean to stroll up and make his presence known. But Dean was nowhere nearby. “But it’s the only place I could think of to catch you.”
“Dean could’ve—”
Mel cut in, “I know, but I decided to take that chance.” Her dark gaze studied me, running up and down my body, and I wondered if she still felt for me, if she’d ever felt for me. Maybe her feelings for me last year were simply because of a broken heart. She’d wanted me to put her back together again, but I didn’t. I went and broke her apart further. Dean had led her to the cliff, and I’d pushed her off. “I need to talk to you.”
I had no idea why she’d need to talk to me, unless…
“Dean texted me a video,” Mel added, her brown gaze rising to meet mine. It held not a trace of the fire Kelsey’s amber gaze held. “It’s not the first time he’s tried to talk to me. I don’t know how he got my new number, but I know Dean has his ways.”
My stomach hardened. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I knew what video she was talking about.
“Just tell me, Levi,” Mel said. “Tell me why. Do you plan on hurting Kelsey the same way you hurt me? Is this some game you guys do every year? Place bets on who can break someone so much they want to…” She had to pause to swallow her emotions. “To kill themselves?”
“No,” I told her, meaning it. I knew believing me would be near impossible for her, but she had to know that I…it wasn’t like that with Kelsey. What I had with Kelsey was real, and Dean had made sure to fuck it all up. He apparently hadn’t fucked things up enough, though, if he’d sent the video to Mel.
Dean wanted Kelsey to be miserable too. Oh, that guy… I felt my hands clench into fists at my sides. I was going to beat the shit out of him.
“No, I…it’s not like that, with Kelsey,” I told her, wanting her to believe it, believe me. A hard sell, considering our pasts.
“So it was just like that with me?”
“That’s not what I said.” It wasn’t what I said, but it was true. I never felt for Mel, never cared for her. She wasn’t my type. Her personality didn’t mesh with mine. I needed…well, turned out I needed someone like Kelsey, but Kelsey was off the table, especially now. It was only a matter of time before Mel sat Kelsey down and told her, if she hadn’t already.
Mel shook her head. “That’s always been the thing with you, hasn’t it? It’s always what you don’t say. You always keep the truth to yourself, and you know what? That’s what makes things hurt even worse.”
Her words were true, but still I didn’t like hearing them.
“Let me ask you this: does Kelsey know about us? I’ve mentioned what happened last year with her, but I never got into many details because…” Mel paused, staring at me with an expression of pain. “Because it hurts to remember those days.”
I wanted to walk away from this conversation, pretend none of this was happening. This was all too real, and if there was one thing I didn’t handle well, it was real emotions—in case you didn’t already know. I was fucked up.
Eventually I said, “No, Kelsey doesn’t know about us. I didn’t tell her.”
“Did you know she was my roommate before you…” Slept together. Mel couldn’t even say it, not that I could blame her.
Shaking my head, I said again, “No. I didn’t know.”
“And once you found out, you and Dean came up with a plan to get back at me again?”
“This isn’t about you,” I told her, a bit harsher than I wanted to be. Well, in a way it was about her, because I’d refused Dean when he told me to talk to Kelsey and help convince her that she should tell Mel to get back with him. But everything else? No, it wasn’t about her. It was about me, and my inability to tell the truth, to fight for what mattered most to me.
“It’s not about me,” Mel repeated. “Has it ever been about me, or has it always been about Dean?”
“Mel, I—” This was the first time I’d spoken to her after what happened. There really was nothing to say.
She bent to pick up her bag, wrapping the strap around her shoulders. “I really don’t want to hear it, Levi. I only came to see if you were trying to play Kelsey like you played me, to tell you that you should just give up. Kelsey’s not like me. She’s stronger, and
