I didn’t bother to pause it, and it took everything in me to ignore the sounds of Levi’s and mine’s lovemaking, to turn toward Mel and say, “I know I should’ve told you, but I didn’t want you to think that I was…I don’t know, sleeping with the enemy or something. I told you to be strong against Dean, and then I go and sleep with one of Dean’s friends—”
“So you don’t know, then,” Mel spoke sadly, giving me a frown that I felt in my very soul.
The video abruptly cut to another scene; Levi and I were no longer having sex. Instead, we were laying with each other, practically cuddling. I watched in horror as I confessed to Levi the fact that my parents were getting divorced. Me, being so open, so honest, so emotionally vulnerable, to someone who I hardly knew. Me, practically laying my soul bare.
Me, making the worst mistake ever.
This…this part of the video, it was almost worse than the previous part. This made me see nothing but red, feel a type of hatred so strong it threatened to shatter my bones. I wanted to dick-punch Levi so hard he’d never be able to get his cock erect again. Future children? Oh, he won’t be able to have them once I was through with him.
I hated how weak I sounded. I hated how open and vulnerable my voice was in the video, how innocently I’d laid there, confessing something to him I hadn’t even told my best friend. This. This was it. I might’ve still lost myself to Levi in daydreams, but that bastard was done.
“You never told me your parents were getting divorced,” Mel whispered, still frowning. Still ridiculously sad. Still heartbroken.
I shrugged. Below me, the video was finally over, and I handed her back her phone.
“You also never told me you slept with Levi,” she added.
Burying my face in my hands, I said, “I knew you’d hate me for it.”
“Kelsey,” Mel said, setting her phone aside. “I could never hate you. I know you wouldn’t do that to hurt me. What I’m worried about is Levi hurting you—and this video…it just proves it. He’s not a good guy.”
“I know—”
“Do you? Do you know?” She interrupted me, something so unlike her I couldn’t help but stare. “I don’t think you do. Let me tell you exactly how bad of a guy Levi is. Last year, after I found out Dean had cheated on me and broke up with him, I was depressed. I’d lost my first love in the worst way possible…and then there he was. There to pick me up and dust me off.”
I stared at her, my mouth falling open. The one who’d hurt her after Dean was…Levi?
Mel continued, “I fell for him, because who wouldn’t? I fell for him, and because I was so broken from Dean, I…I let him in. The day after we slept together, he sent me a text and broke up with me, telling me that I was just an easy win. One after the other. I thought…I thought I was unlovable, that something was wrong with me.”
My emotions were all over the place. My gut was on the floor, my heart practically palpitating in my chest. I wanted nothing to do with Levi after this. Absolutely nothing. That man was dead to me. This…there was no coming back from this. From our sex tape? Maybe. Maybe I would’ve let him grovel for a while before slowly coming to accept his pathetic apology.
But there was no apologizing for what he did to Mel, for what his actions led her to do. He had a hand in her attempted suicide, and I knew better than to say all blame was on her, even if she was ultimately the one who’d tried to end her life. When you were depressed, you felt alone. Why the hell would anyone want to live the rest of their life alone?
“I didn’t know, Mel,” I told her, hoping she believed me. I didn’t want her to think I’d purposefully hurt her like this. I never…if I would have known what Levi did, I never would’ve gone to him that night. I would’ve cut myself off from him from the root. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
Me? I could handle. I could handle the sex tape—and even the extra-long tape where I confessed my parents’ failing marriage. It ticked me off, but I could handle it. This? Mel shouldn’t have to deal with any of this. I’d brought this particular storm to her door, and I just hoped she wouldn’t regress and become the same fragile girl she was last year.
Granted, I didn’t know how bad she was last year, but I could imagine.
“I’m not mad at you,” Mel spoke quietly. She fiddled with her hands on her lap. “I just…I didn’t want you to get played like I did, but I guess it’s too late for that.” She referenced the tape, to which I could only shrug.
“I don’t care about the tape.” A lie, considering my blood had been boiling so much I could hardly think straight when I first saw it. “Who showed it to you?”
“Dean,” Mel said. “It’s funny. I changed my number, but somehow he got it anyways. He texted it to me, told me that I had the right to know my roommate is lying to me.” Her voice got quiet, and she pursed her lips. “I don’t think you lied to me on purpose. I think this is all just some fucked-up way of my life saying this horrible chapter isn’t over yet.”
I didn’t know if I could agree with
