I didn’t even bother to pull my hood up. Let me get drenched. Let me get soaked. At this point, I didn’t give a fuck. Even if all my books got soaked in my bag…oh fucking well. There were worse things in this world than wet books and clothes, like losing Kelsey, for instance.
Heaving a silent sigh to myself, I waited a moment, seeing if the rain would let up at all. Usually downpours like this lasted a few minutes, tops, but this…didn’t look to be stopping anytime soon. Best to just go and get it over with. I pushed outside, having been so slow most of the other students were nowhere nearby. I was alone as I walked from the side of the science building.
Or that’s what I thought, until I heard an angry voice shout, “Hey!”
My back went rod straight, and even though the air was cool under the rain, even though the top layer of my hoodie was already wet, I found myself slowly turning to the owner of the voice. Kelsey stood, leaning against the brick building, her arms crossed. She kept under the overhang of the roof, so she was dry. Me? The longer I stood there, the more soaked-through I became. My hair, my skin, my pants. Everything.
“I have something to say to you,” Kelsey spoke above the loudness of the rain, above the thunder in the distance.
I shook my head, both wanting to walk away and wanting to stay. This girl made me so many different kinds of conflicted; I hated it. I hated it and I loved it, hence the issue. Hence the crazy she drilled into me, so easily and effortlessly.
Kelsey stepped out from her spot under the overhang, immediately getting drenched. Her long brown hair splattered across her face, her cheeks red. Fury lingered in her eyes, and though I wasn’t afraid of her, I knew I should be. This girl, even though we weren’t together, held my heart in her hands.
The sad thing? She didn’t even know she held it. That wouldn’t stop her from breaking it, though.
“How dare you,” she hissed, baring her teeth at me like she was some sort of animal. She was barely over five feet tall and she acted like someone double the size with her attitude. “How fucking dare you weasel your way into my heart while lying to me.”
We stood five feet apart, the rain pelting us both, neither of us attempting to move out of the storm. “I never lied to you,” I told her, meaning it. The rainwater seeped in between my lips as I spoke, tasting dirty.
“Oh, so you had no idea Mel was my roommate?” Kelsey posed the question, cocking her head. Water fell from her nose, her lips and her chin, and I wanted to wipe it off, to touch those lips again and feel them against mine. That night in the parking lot felt so far away right now, practically another lifetime.
“I…” My hesitation must’ve been all she needed, for her lips curled downwards into a sneer.
“You did. You knew she was my roommate. Tell me, Levi, did you only want to use me to hurt her again?” Kelsey said my real name, not her nickname for me. God, what I wouldn’t do to hear her call me Blue one last time. “How fucking dare you try to hurt that girl again. Mel is a sweet, kind, nice girl—but you know what? I’m not. I’m anything but fucking sweet.”
That I knew well enough by now. That’s why I fell in love with her. Kelsey had always been my kind of trouble; didn’t she realize by now that our trouble complemented each other’s? That our personalities were one and the same?
“I never claimed you were,” I said, practically shouting over the heavy rain. I was drenched to my bones now, but did that stop me from taking a step closer to her? From saying more? No, no it didn’t. “That tape—it wasn’t me. It was Dean.” A confession. A confession in the pouring rain.
It was high past time for confessions now.
She let out an incredulous chuckle. “Was it? Tell me how the fuck I’m supposed to believe you after all this time? Why should I trust any of the words coming out of your mouth?” In Kelsey’s eyes, I was only trying to save face, maybe even get back with her…all to hurt Mel again.
But this—this wasn’t about Mel. It never was.
“Because it’s true,” I said, feeling the intense need to make this girl believe me. To have her by my side one more time. God, what I wouldn’t give to feel those legs wrapped around my waist and that tongue dancing along my jaw. “Because I love you, Kelsey. Because you make me go crazy. Yes, I made a mistake with Mel, but—”
She held up a hand. Slowly and steadily. It was as if I hadn’t just confessed my love for her, like she didn’t hear it. Did she? Did she even realize what I said, or was she too blinded by her rage, like I’d been these last few weeks? Kelsey was more like me than I realized, and that…that would be our downfall. Both of us too bullheaded to stop and think. Both of us too unwilling to be the one in the wrong, and now that I was here, telling her the truth, it was simply too late.
“You made a mistake with Mel,” she repeated, spitting out rainwater with each word. The dark sky made it feel so much later
