“Of course. Anything.”
“I know I agreed to walk down the aisle with Clay, and I’m not asking for you to alter that. It’s too late to change things up, but can you sit me next to someone else this evening? I just can’t—”
“Done. You don’t need to worry.” She paused and glanced up at the ceiling as if thinking. “Gary is flying in this afternoon. I’ll arrange for you to sit by him.”
I knew from previous discussions that he was one of Hunter’s groomsmen. “Is that the one that got a divorce last year?”
“Yep, that’s him.”
“All right. Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome.” She hesitated. “Just so you know, I’m pretty sure Clay won’t give up on you. He’s been chasing you from day one, and regardless of whatever conversation you had, I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”
I raised my palms in the air. “It’s in God’s hands.”
“Yep, it is.”
After that, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The ache was still there, but I determined to press forward and enjoy what little time I had left with Sabrina. I finished ironing the dress and put it in the closet, and then we got the whole family to go outside for a snowball fight.
Lamentations 3:22-24 came to mind. The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.”
The passage brought a smile to my face because I’d been dwelling on what I didn’t have, but there was so much He’d blessed me with. I made a conscious effort to focus on what He’d given me, to not let my mind slip into despair. For one, I was His child, and there was no greater blessing than that.
I watched my cousins and their kids as they ran back and forth, laughing and screaming with delight. I may not have children, but I had something far more precious. I had a Savior who loved me, who died for me, and who would never let me go.
Yes, Lord. You are my portion, and I will hope in you.
***
At three-thirty in the afternoon, I made my way to the church for the rehearsal. I drove on my own in Hunter’s truck so I could leave when I was ready and wouldn’t have to depend on anyone else. I’d walked out of the house first, but the others had said they’d be right behind me.
It was as if God had wrapped His invisible arms around me and infused me with His peace. I was still nervous about seeing Clay again, but I had the sense that it would be okay. Whatever the Lord had planned, I could trust Him. If it wasn’t for that indescribable peace, I would have been a complete wreck.
As fate would have it, I pulled into the parking space just as Clay drove into the one facing me on the opposite end. Our eyes met, and my heart picked up its pace. All right, Lord. I don’t know why you allowed this to happen, but I’m going to roll with it.
I got out of the truck and hugged my purse close to my side, feeling a little awkward. Once we broke the ice, it would get easier.
I waved. “Hi, Clay.”
He walked over in the same dress pants he’d worn at the auction, and he had on a light gray sweater and a long black coat. “Jazmin.” He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. “How have you been?”
“Okay. Just hanging out with the family. You know how that goes. Everyone’s excited about the wedding so…” I glanced behind me. Where were the others?
He nodded and brushed a hand through his hair. “I haven’t called or come by because I wanted to give you space, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” He let out a breath, and by the look on his face, I had a feeling this was even harder for him than it was for me. “I want you to know I’ve been praying about us.”
“Me too.”
Just then another car pulled in next to the truck and a broad-chested man with blond hair got out. He looked at Clay and then his gaze fell on me and lingered there. “Are we all here for the rehearsal dinner?”
“Yes, the others should be here any minute,” I said.
He walked over and extended a hand. “I’m Gary.” He stood a couple of inches shorter than Clay, but he was much broader. Clay had a leaner, more athletic physique, but his muscles were well defined. Both men were equally handsome, but I still preferred Clay because I was drawn to his heart most of all.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Jazmin.”
He took my hand and didn’t let go. “You’re Sabrina’s pretty cousin from California.” He smiled and swiped his fingers along the side of his jaw. “Hunter posted pictures on social media of you and Sabrina during your trip last summer.”
“Oh, right.”
I glanced over at Clay, and he was looking at Gary with a wary expression. “I’m Clay, by the way. One of the other groomsmen.”
“Nice to meet you,” Gary said. He let go of my hand to shake Clay’s and then brought his gaze back to me. “Are you two together?” He motioned between us and his meaning was clear. He wanted to know if we were a couple. His straightforward manner was both refreshing and annoying.
I said no and Clay said yes at the exact same time. My eyes widened, and Clay opened his mouth and then closed it as if
