It was up to me to put the brakes on this thing between us, and if I didn’t, it would only get harder to let go.
During the drive, I sensed his gaze on me, and I could tell he knew something was up. A couple of times I almost worked up the courage to have a conversation about boundaries and just being friends, but the lump in my throat prevented me from doing that, so in the end, I chickened out. One would think these kinds of discussions would be easy for me since I was a therapist, but discussing other people’s problems was not the same as dealing with your own.
By the time we drove up to his house four hours later, I was ready to jump out of the car to get away from him. Everything about him pulled me in. His humor and straightforward manner of speaking. His kindness. The humility with which he carried himself. It was almost too much to take.
We parked, and the rest of the caravan drove up behind us. His house was situated on a piece of private property in a secluded area, and it was so beautiful my breath caught in my throat. It wasn’t around other houses, but it definitely wasn’t off-the-grid. Red and white Christmas lights lined the frame and twinkled against the cloudy sky. It wasn’t dark yet, but the lights still flickered brilliantly. Clay had told me that in Anchor Point, sunset happened at four p.m. this time of year, and we were a few hours away from that.
As our entire clan walked through the front door of Clay’s house, there was a collective gasp. His place was stunning, like something out of a magazine. All this time, I’d pictured him in his small cabin, and I’d had this image of the type of person he was, maybe because of his beard and long hair. Seeing his mansion and the classy way he’d decorated his home showed me a completely different side of him. Clay Drover was full of surprises.
My mom circled the living room, taking in the landscape pictures on the wall, the high ceilings, and open space. “Wow, you have a lovely home, Clay. Thank you for letting us stay here.”
“It’s my pleasure,” he said, nodding his head in her direction.
She smiled at him, approval and admiration showing in her expression. She glanced at me and winked, and I tried not to roll my eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder if she would have had the same reaction if she’d seen his cabin and thought that was all he had.
I wouldn’t fault her for being impressed though. I was as well, but it didn’t mean I’d changed my mind. I needed to reiterate that we could only be friends, and I needed to do it soon. It wasn’t fair to let him think there was hope, and I wasn’t the type to string anyone along.
Clay gave us a tour of his home which included a huge living room, dining room, kitchen, office, recreational room, and eight bedrooms. There was even an outdoor sauna. He was graciously allowing us to stay for two weeks to attend the wedding and celebrate Christmas afterward. Sabrina and Hunter would be on their honeymoon during the holiday, but the rest of the family was looking forward to remaining in Anchor Point.
We divvied up the rooms and Sabrina and I decided to share as it would be our last time together before she tied the knot. I’d thought I would be sad about that since we had been the final hold-outs in the family, waiting much longer to get married than the others. Now, I would be the only one left who’d remained single, but honestly, I was just happy for her. She was marrying her best friend, and I’d never seen her so elated.
After putting my clothes away, I made my way to the kitchen to get a drink of water, but before I even got there, Clay intercepted me.
“Jazmin, can I speak to you for a moment?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
He motioned for me to follow him and led me to his office. Instead of sitting at his desk, he gestured for me to sit on the couch, and he joined me there. He gave me a scrutinizing look, a muscle pulsing in his jaw. “I don’t always read people correctly, but I can tell something is bothering you.”
“Is it that obvious?”
He nodded solemnly, and my heart broke a little. I had put off the conversation in the car, but I couldn’t procrastinate any longer.
I cleared my throat. “Clay, you’re a wonderful man but—”
“You just can’t live without me.” His grin was all teeth, reminding me of the Cheshire cat.
“That’s not what I was about to say.”
He chuckled. “I know. You were going to give me the boot, weren’t you?”
“I…uh…”
“I picked up on your vibe while we were in the car. You’re uneasy with the possibility of something happening between us.” He shifted so he faced me head-on. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable during your trip here. I’ve made it very clear how I feel about you, but I won’t beg you to be with me—”
“I would never want you to feel like you had to do that.”
He smiled sadly. “I know you wouldn’t, but I get it. You’re not interested.”
I should have left it at that, but I didn’t want him to think I was rejecting him because there was something wrong with him. It had nothing to do with him personally…it was all because of my own issues. “It’s not that I’m not interested. I’m just better off on my own.” I reached over and patted his hand. “You deserve everything you want. A wife. Kids. The
