Because now I know my past has cost me everything I want. Marley Grove. The girl I love. The girl I can never have.
Marley
The bar is full, which makes sense. It's a Friday night in Riverside, and all the fishermen are looking for a few pints. The locals are looking for some entertainment. I smile doing my rounds, making some tips, pouring beer and delivering chicken wings. Trying my best to believe this life is enough. For 24 years, it was. And then I met Maker. And my whole world seemed to shatter, to no longer seem quite as full as it had appeared.
It's been two months since I've seen Maker, since he wrapped his arms around me and swung me around the dance floor, kissed me softly on his boat with the whole night ahead of us. It seems like a dream, a good dream.
But the day after, with the fight in the back yard of our house, it all became a nightmare. My brothers had black eyes, a broken rib. Gavin even lost a tooth, which I'm not supposed to talk about because he's mortified about it. Three on one, and somehow Maker was the least scathed. If Sheriff Price hadn't shown up, I don't want to think about what would have happened.
Still, every single day I find myself thinking about Maker, about our night together. And tonight as I round a corner with a tray of beers in hand to give the table in the corner, I see a bearded man walk into the bar. I pause, thinking for a split second that it's him.
But then he turns and I see his eyes. They're much too blue for Maker.
I blink, realizing he actually looks nothing like Maker. He's shorter and not nearly as tough. The two men aren’t even built the same. And when he slides onto a stool at the bar, my heart tightens with disappointment. God, how I wish everything would have ended differently.
I give the table their beers and I realize the couple there had slipped into the bar without me realizing I went to high school with them.
"Marley. You're looking so good these days. You're literally glowing,” Tamara says. She's with her husband, Marcus. High school sweethearts. If I’m the golden girl of Riverside, Tamara, a year ahead of me, always was vying for that position. We were both Homecoming Queens of our respective years. Not like there was much competition at our school of twenty graduating seniors.
"What are you up to these days?" she asks.
"Oh, work mostly."
"And taking care of your brothers?” Marcus asks with a laugh. "Dude, Price told me about the fight that happened at your place a few months back. It's fucking insane.”
"Which part was insane?" I say, wondering how much they know.
Tamara shrugs. "Well, we just heard that there was some criminal, like an actual wanted criminal from California, who was living up here? That he got in a fight with your brothers. I couldn't believe it. I was like, 'Why would he be in Riverside in the first place?'"
"Right,” I say, looking for an excuse to leave this conversation. The pair of them have always seemed so smug and I resent them for it. "Why would he be?"
"No, but seriously. Why was he here?” Tamara asks. "Like, do you have the inside scoop?"
I laugh. "What, you want the gossip like we're in some reality television show? Tamara, this is Riverside, Alaska. There's nobody here. Nothing interesting happens. The guy had a friend who was getting married in the Whiskey Mountains. That's all."
"Oh, like, so you know him?"
I nod. “I met him at the wedding. Near Whiskey Mountain.”
Tamara's mouth falls open. "Wow. I had no idea you were like that. Hanging out with people in the backwoods. I always thought you were such a good girl. And yet you're hanging out with a wanted criminal."
"He's not wanted," I say. "He'd been in some trouble before, but he's not like that."
"Oh, so you do know him. Like him even.”
"What makes you say that?" I ask.
"You're, like, defending him." she says.
"Maybe,” I say. "He was my friend, or is my friend, or whatever. It doesn't matter."
"Right," Tamara says with a laugh. "I'm sure it doesn't matter. It's not like a wanted criminal would want to be with a girl like you."
The tray of beers in my hands seems to shake. I want to pick up a pint and throw it in her face. "What do you mean, a girl like me?"
"Marley. You're risk-averse. I mean, have you ever done a bad thing in your entire life? I remember back in high school, all the guys would want to go down to the bonfire and drink and smoke."
"And fuck," Marcus adds.
"Right," Tamara says with a laugh. "Anyways. You never wanted to do that sort of thing. You’d stay home and study.”
"Yeah. It's never been my style."
"Exactly,” she says. "So the idea of you being with a guy like that, it's just really out of character."
"Maybe you don't actually know me all that well," I say to her. “Maybe I’ve changed.”
"Maybe you have,” she says. "I like this version of Marley Grove. No wonder your brothers were so pissed."
"What’s that supposed to mean?" I ask.
"Your brothers just have a tight rein on you. To be honest, I wondered what took you so long to stand up for yourself."
"Right,” I say. "Well, now we know what it took."
Tamara nods with a knowing grin. "Good for you, girl."
I walk away from them, wondering what the hell that was about. Not that I'm surprised. I know what people here think of me. I'm the sweetheart, the darling. And I'm not
