She chokes on a sob, raising her saddened eyes to meet mine.
“I told you I’d wait because I thought you just needed time, and you’re worth every minute. But I don’t think that’ll be enough.” More tears fall down her face, smearing her light mascara. “I’m not enough because I’m not the one you want,” I whisper, the realization making the monitors flatline in my head.
We were having a perfect evening. I was happy. When I walked through her door earlier, I was dead tired from my day at work, but when I laid eyes on her and Jacob, nothing else mattered. I was brought back to life. They breathe joy into my existence. A joy I’ve never known before.
I finally understood what my own father felt when he came home to us.
But it’s not real.
With one “mistake,” as she calls it, the whole illusion is gone.
They’re not my family.
They still belong to another man—the man they really want.
She buries her face in her hands, shaking her head as though she wants to believe I’m wrong, but she stays silent.
We both know I’m right.
Silently, I open the door and force my heavy feet to move. I leave the one who got away—twice—behind me with only her soft whimpers calling after me.
But I don’t look back.
Twenty-Eight
Clara
I put my car in drive, sighing—I’ve been doing that a lot this week.
Since I called Dax by Mitch’s name.
Once I reach the school, I bury my face in my hands, wanting to disappear. This town is too small. Our world is too small. I see Dax everywhere, even when it’s not really him.
Every sandy-blond-haired guy with a confident gait is Dax.
The school bell rings, and students slowly trickle out of the building.
Jacob walks out with Luke and another kid I don’t recognize. Jacob laughs along with the two boys, his fingers curled around the straps of his backpack.
My shoulders immediately sag, and the corners of my lips curl as he jumps in the car. No matter how much of a mess I am, the sight of Jacob always eases my tension.
“How was school today?” I ask, grabbing my coffee from the cupholder.
“My math homework was all correct,” he beams. “Dax is so smart.”
I choke on my coffee, recalling the night Dax helped Jacob with his homework. How right everything felt.
We were a family.
The only family I’ve known besides my parents has been with Mitch. When I was watching Dax with Jacob, it reminded me a lot of Mitch. How Jacob used to look at his dad. How much he loved him, and vice versa. It’s why Mitch’s name slipped.
I clear my throat. “That’s great, honey.”
“When’s Dax coming over again? He promised me a Minecraft day. We have a lot of work to do.”
My chest aches, unsure of how to answer him. “It may not be for a few days. He’s very busy.”
“He always makes time for us, though, so I know he’ll be back soon.”
“I hope so,” I mutter, putting the car in drive as the pickup line starts moving.
I come to another stop and glance behind me at Grayson and Sidney. They smile widely as Luke leans between them to show them a piece of paper.
My heart squeezes, wishing I had someone to share these moments with.
Wanting that someone to be Dax.
My fingers itch to call him and tell him Jacob got an A on his math homework.
To share these moments as Jacob continues growing. He’s growing faster than poppies, and he has so many stories of his grades, friends, and sports that I wish I could share with Dax.
“Mom, are you watching the road? You can go.”
“Right.” I put the car in drive and inch forward.
The whole way home I try to wrack my brain for how to fix things between Dax and me. He hasn’t answered my calls and won’t return them.
If it wasn’t for Staci, I’d think he was sick, but she said he’s fine, albeit moodier than usual.
We come to a stop in our driveway. Jacob has been silent this whole time, and he’s now fidgeting with his seatbelt.
“What’re you thinking about, bud?”
Sighing, he undoes his seatbelt and opens the door. “Nothing.”
Once inside, he shuffles to his room and slams the door.
I frown and knock to check on him. I let myself into his room and find him on the bed with a comic book.
“What’s our rule?” I ask, hands on my hips.
He doesn’t say anything or look up at me, and I know he’s about to throw a tantrum, although I don’t know why.
“Jacob?”
“I just wanted to read the first page,” he mumbles, then pulls his legs up on the bed.
“Okay, but you have to do your homework first. That’s the rule.”
He rolls his eyes, shifting on the bed, then turns his focus back to the open comic book in his hands.
“Jacob,” I say more firmly.
“No.”
I exhale. “Jacob, you can read this after you finish your homework.”
“I want to read it now!”
Grinding my teeth, I steady my voice. “I’m only going to say this one more time. Put the comic book away, and do your homework first.”
He throws the book onto the floor and rushes past me, out the door.
I cross my arms and give myself a minute to calm down.
Again, I wish I had a partner. Someone to lean on. Someone to help me get through to Jacob when he’s upset.
The guilt eats at me as I leave his bedroom. In the kitchen, I find Jacob at the table, but he’s not working on anything. He’s merely staring out the window.
Quietly, I sink onto the seat across from him and wait for him to speak first.
After a long pause, he finally asks, “You don’t think Dax is going to come over anytime soon, do you?”
“What makes you say that?”
“You called him Dad’s name.”
The wind is knocked out of me.
It’s hard to breathe. My vision blurs. Panic takes over.
I don’t know how to respond. This is all uncharted territory.
