12
Kayden Harrison
“So, yeah… my feelings are on the table,” I tell her the moment Evan goes back into the club and gets out of our way.
“And?” she asks.
That’s a valid question, I guess. I haven’t talked to her in a year and then I come in and tell her I love her. “And I’d like us to give things a second try,” I add, feeling like I need to get everything out of my chest while I can.
“A second try,” she says, echoing my words as she stands there as beautiful as ever.
I nod. “We can make it work this time around.”
She pushes back an errant curl. “Why would I want to do that? What if I already moved on? If I have a boyfriend back at school waiting for me,” she says, and I can see that she’s frustrated with me.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” I ask, praying the answer is no. I stand up straight, feeling my body go on alert as it waits for an answer that I may not like. “Honestly, even if you did have a boyfriend,” I tell her, interrupting just as she’s about to open her mouth and speak. “What we have, you and me, it’s the kind of love that happens only once.”
“How would you know?” she asks again, disbelief written on her face.
“Because it’s been a year. A year without talking to you or seeing you. And every day of that year I couldn’t help but think about you. Think about how much I missed you and how much I love you. Because, although time heals all wounds, you’re fresh in my heart. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I do about you and I doubt I ever will. So if you have a boyfriend and you feel about him the same way you know I feel about you, then fine. But if that’s not the case, then why not try again?” I ask. It may seem weak or like begging but I’d get on my knees if that would mean I get to have Ari. I’d beg over and over again because she’s worth it. Because she’s worth everything I didn’t give to her. Honestly, I don’t deserve her. But I want her just the same.
“So it’s true love or something because you haven’t gotten over me,” she says, rolling her eyes.
I sigh. “It’s the once-in-a-lifetime kind of love because it’s still burning bright, just like it has our entire lives… at least for me.” I take a step then two toward her. I close the distance between us until it’s just the wall behind her. I give her enough space that she can leave if she wants to but hope she stays and lets this moment between us speak for itself. “Do you still love me?” I ask the question I’ve asked myself every day since I lost her.
“What does it matter?” she asks, and hope starts to grow within me. “We’re in a worse condition now than we were back then.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Before, you were in school a couple of hours away. I was at Bragan Prep. Long distance didn’t work for us then. What makes you think now that I’m in Virginia and you’re in Florida things will work?” she asks. It’s a fair question.
“Because we both want it to. Because I’ve learned. Because I’ve grown over the last year. Sure, it won’t be easy. At times it may suck, but it won’t end for lack of me trying. It won’t end for my failure to prioritize. If you give me this chance, and it’s up to me, it’ll end when death does us part,” I tell her. I surprise myself with my last words but it’s the truth. Ari is the woman I want to marry. The one I want to spend the rest of my days with.
“I don’t want to hurt again,” she says, and a tear rolls down her face. I hate that I did this to her.
I watch as it descends then catch it before it falls. “I never want you to hurt again either,” I tell her.
“I don’t think this is going to work,” she says, not entirely believing my plan for the future. I get it. I made her promises of making things work in the past and I broke them. What makes now more different when things will be even harder?
“Do you want it to work?” I ask. All I need to know is that she still loves me and she wants this to work. If the answers to both of those questions are yes, then we can figure out the rest. They say true love wins in the end, right? I’m hoping in this case they’re right.
She closes her eyes and her head rests on the wall. She stands there quietly for what feels like hours but are just mere seconds as she mulls over my question.
She opens her eyes. “The moment you stepped on my ladybug I knew you’d be trouble. What I didn’t know was that I was going to fall in love with you. That I was going to love you for most of my life. That I’d love you even after things ended. I wished every day that I could stop loving you but no such wish was granted. So yeah, I guess if this is another opportunity to see if things could work, I’m willing to give it a try.”
As the words leave her lips, I put my arms around her. I hug her tightly, loving the comfort I feel the moment my arms are wrapped around her. She hugs me back and for those two seconds it feels like nothing’s changed and everything is right with the world again.
I let go of her and take a step
