I sit up tall and inhale deeply again. “I know, man. I fucking miss her. The look on her face when she walked out my door haunts me all day. I let her down. I don’t ever want to see that look from her again.”
“Then fix it.” He clasps his hand on my shoulder before rising once more and walking out of the locker room.
I decide to shower at home, so I gather my stuff and hop in my truck to make my way back to my house. The place I’ve turned into my home has felt so empty and cold without out Sydney here. I hate sleeping in my bed without her body next to me. I hate not having her hover over me at the stove while I cooked her dinner. I’m disgusted with the way that night plays over in my mind each time I’m in the living room.
She’s right. I am a fucking coward, but I’m done. I need her. A realization hits me as I exit my shower.
I thought I was scared to jump into a relationship with the girl who was someone I used to hate. I thought that fear was the worst once her father confirmed my deepest insecurities on the subject.
But now I know that the scariest part of all of this is knowing that Sydney loved me two weeks ago, and might possibly have changed her mind.
Nothing terrifies me more than to know I was so close to her, called her mine, and now she could become a stranger to me all over again.
I change into black shorts and a white t-shirt in record time as desperation overcomes me. I need to see her, talk to her. I can’t wait anymore. I may have lost her forever and then that will be the guilt I’ll be living with for the rest of my life.
As I search for my keys, a knock on my door catches my attention. I sure as hell wasn’t expecting any visitors, so the presence of one has me curious.
However, nothing could have prepared me for the person standing on the other side of the door as I swung it open.
George Matthews stands in front of me in khaki pants and a navy polo shirt. He pushes his glasses up his nose and then clears his throat as we stare at one another.
“Javier,” he greets me as he pushes his hands into his pockets.
“Judge Matthews,” I acknowledge him back as the hairs on my neck start to rise. What the hell is he doing here?
“Please, call me George.” What the fuck? Okay …
“George.”
“Can I, uh … can I come in, please? I’m afraid we need to talk.”
I turn to check the time on the clock, wondering how long this will take. I had every intention of racing to Sydney’s condo to beg for her forgiveness, but something tells me that George’s unexpected visit may have something to do with that.
“Uh, sure.” I hold the door open wider so he can come inside, then shut it behind him. I’m instantly nervous as I watch him assess my living accommodations, but I fight desperately to bury the anxiety. If I want this man to accept me, I have to stay true to who I am.
“You did all of this work yourself?” He asks as his eyes move around the room.
“Yes, I did.”
“Sydney told me that, but to see it with my own two eyes. Wow. It’s remarkable. Nice work, Javier.”
“Sydney spoke about that?”
He turns to face me with a half-smile. “We’ve been talking about a lot of things lately, especially when it comes to you.”
“I see.” Maybe he’s here to tell me she’s changed her mind about me and that I’m never to contact her again. I’ve never put my hands on a judge before, but there’s a first time for everything, I suppose.
He takes a seat on one end of my couch as I inhabit the other, resting my arm along the back. “How can I help you, George?”
“Well, Javier. It seems I owe you a much overdue apology.”
My eyebrows shoot up at his words. “Okay …”
“I’m sorry for the way I treated you a few weeks ago at my home. I know you don’t have children of your own, but I assure you when you do, you will only want to protect them as much as possible from pain and heartbreak.”
“I can understand that.”
“Although, it seems my actions that night inflicted a pain on my daughter that was completely my fault and I’ve been fighting to repair.”
I look down at the ground for a moment and then flick my eyes back up to his. “You’re not the only one who hurt her that night.”
“I know. But you wouldn’t have pushed her away if it weren’t for me. And I’m here to say I’m sorry that I misjudged you.”
“Uh, thank you.”
“I obviously know about your record and the time you served. But Sydney gave me quite the tongue lashing the next day and informed me of exactly why you went to prison.” Anxiety spikes in my chest as I absorb what he said. He knows about Selena and Jesus. She told him everything.
“Okay …”
“And I want you to know that after hearing your story, I admit that I was wrong about you. I didn’t think you were the type of man that my daughter needs—someone to protect her and care for her the way I do. But I was wrong. Your actions, although violent, were completely warranted in my opinion. And regardless
