“You’re absolutely right. It is my fault that I’ve felt like the sludge that builds at the bottom of a trashcan.”
“That’s quite the picture you painted there,” she says on a slight tip of her lips.
“It’s true. I’ve missed you and I’ve been a fool. I was on my way over here earlier when your father showed up on my doorstep.”
That bit of information makes her perk up. “He went to your house?”
“Yes. He apologized for the way he behaved during dinner and relayed to me that you told him why I went to prison.”
She nods in confirmation. “I did. I didn’t think it was fair that he was judging you for something that he didn’t know the whole story of. And I wanted to reiterate to him that despite your past, you are the man that I want in my life.”
I reach out to tuck a strand of unruly hair behind her ear, stroking her cheek with my thumb. “God, I’m an idiot,” I whisper as her eyes soften and search mine for clarity.
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m so fucking sorry, Princess. I’m sorry that I let my own doubts and fears tear us apart. I’m sorry I was a coward and couldn’t get to this point sooner. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me to be.”
She sighs and then reaches to hold my hand. “My father had a part as well, but here’s the thing, Javi. I’m scared that every time this happens, because it will happen again, that you’re going to run. My feelings for you never wavered. In fact, they only grew. I accepted all of you knowing that people would have opinions about the two of us together, especially if they know about your past. But I can’t be in a relationship where I’m constantly wondering if someone or something is going to make you run away and abandon me. I can’t live like that.”
I bob my head, hearing her loud and clear. Her concerns are one-hundred percent valid. “I agree. And all I can do is promise you that it won’t happen again. This time apart has shown me that I can’t live without you. Now that I know you and you’ve been a part of my life, I don’t want to live without your soul intertwined with mine.”
I see the reservation in her eyes, the tremble of her lips as she contemplates my words.
“It’s now or never, Javi. I won’t do this again.”
I shake my head, preparing to correct her. “No, Sydney. It’s not now or never. It’s forever.”
“Forever?” she asks with a hopeful gaze, resting her head on her knees.
“Yes. I want forever with you.”
“You love me, don’t you, Javi?” Her smile builds and I can feel my lips do the same.
“Guilty as charged, Princess.”
She jumps across the couch into my arms and crashes her lips into mine, sealing our promise with a kiss that makes me dizzy and desperate for her. As we get more comfortable and Sydney straddles my lap, I give her the most intense kiss of her life. I show her that she’s the one I crave, the only woman who has ever made me feel worthy of anything—but most importantly, love.
“I love you, Javier Montes.”
“God, I love you, Sydney Matthews. It’s so strange to say that, but fuck, it feels so right.”
She chuckles and then kisses me once more, slower this time as we run our hands all over each other, savoring the feeling of being back in each other’s arms.
“I’ve been miserable without you,” I mumble against her lips before she leans back and looks at me.
“Then why didn’t you come to me sooner?”
“The longer I waited, the longer I couldn’t come up with a valid reason for staying away. Then I just became so fucking angry at myself, the last thing I wanted to do was show you that side of me while trying to reconcile with you.”
She holds my face in her hands as ours eyes move together. “I want every part of you, Javi. Don’t you get that? I know that when you’re angry about something, it’s because you care. I know when you’re intense, it’s because you have so much passion running through your veins, you feel like a rubber band about to snap. And when you’re scared, I know you really just need me to remind you that everything will be alright as long as we’re together.”
“Fuck. How do I deserve you? How can you be such an incredible woman and want me? I feel like I’ve let you down in so many ways…”
“You’ve disappointed me, sure. But you’ve never let me down.”
“What about Jesus? Your father told me about the attack. It’s part of the reason he came to see me.”
Her eyes fill with tears almost instantaneously. “I figured, given your reaction at my door …”
“Yes. And I’m pissed I wasn’t there. If I were, he never would have put his hands on you. That same guilt I felt about my sister came rushing back. But God, I’m so fucking proud of you, Sydney. You defended yourself, just like I taught you. When your dad told me that, I had never been so proud in my entire life. I thought I was going to fucking cry.”
She chuckles as she wipes her tears. “I was so scared, Javi. But I just kept hearing your voice in my ears, telling me what to do, remembering practicing the moves with you in the gym. Even though you weren’t physically there, you did save me. You helped me save myself.”
I wrap my arms around her and move to stand as her legs wrap around my waist. “I think we’ve saved each other in multiple ways, Princess,” I reply
