“Risk everything?” Jay asks.
“If you guys want me out of the band, I understand.”
“Dude, what the fuck?” Sky exclaims. “Now I’m pissed. You think we’d kick you out?”
“I don’t want to mess up anything for you guys.”
“Merrick, we’re family,” Carlos says. “I’m mad you felt you had to hide this from us, but I’m not mad that you’re gay.”
“And what do we care who you’re attracted to or who you fuck?” Sky adds. “You’ve been in the band since the beginning. We practically lived at your brother’s house, practicing and driving him insane. There is no band without you.”
Jay sits down across from me, resting his elbows on his knees. “And if we lose fans because they don’t like that you’re gay, then so be it. We don’t need fans like that, and I’m more than positive we’ll still have plenty.”
Relief pours over me, washing away any fear or doubts. Overwhelming love and appreciation for my friends fills me up, creating a lump in my throat that I have to clear before I start talking.
“Fuck,” I say, shaking my head. “I can’t explain how I feel right now.” I meet their gazes again, fighting off tears. “Thank you. Thanks for accepting me for me.”
After we all embrace and go back to our seats, I decide to tell them one more thing.
“I’m in love with Ali. He’s who I was with ten years ago, and he’s who I want to be with forever.”
Sky grins. “I knew it.”
“Alejandro?” Carlos asks, his eyes wide.
Jay laughs. “Are you serious?”
“How did you know?” I ask Sky.
“This is why I thought you were bi, because you’re different around him. I noticed little things the last couple times we’ve all been together.”
“Apparently we aren’t as good at keeping this secret as we used to be.”
“Yeah, because we had no clue back then,” Carlos says. “Holy shit.”
“I have to talk to him, but first I’ll tell the label, then the world. After that, hopefully he’ll agree to be with me. Just wanted you guys to not be surprised, because I’m hoping he’ll be around a lot.”
“Well, shit. At least we already know and like the guy,” Jay says.
My heart feels full, and after a few minutes, everything feels like it used to. Except now I feel a hundred pounds lighter, which makes me happier.
38
Alejandro
Present Day
After I get off the phone with Merrick, I make sure to clean up my place, focusing on the living room and bedroom, then jump in the shower. He said he’s coming over with good news, but the fact that he’s coming over is good enough news for me. Though, I won’t pretend I’m not curious what he has to tell me.
I scrub myself clean, lotion up, and throw on a pair of gym shorts and a black tank top. We’re staying in, so it’s not like I need to be dressed up, plus, I’m sort of hoping we end up without clothes anyway.
Curious if I should make something to eat, I pick up my phone and send him a text.
Me: Are you hungry? Should I cook? Order something?
Kingston: I got it taken care of. Be there soon.
Ten minutes later, Merrick arrives with his arms full.
“What is all this?” I ask when I open the door, reaching out for a bag.
“Dinner. I went to Freeman’s and got curbside service so I wouldn’t have to go in. I looked it up before I drove out here. They have a good selection of food,” he says with a shrug. “Let’s hope it’s good.”
“I’ve been there before. It’s pretty good,” I reply, taking the bag to the kitchen.
“I got steak medallions, chicken teriyaki, rice, baked potatoes, fries, steamed veggies—”
“Is that all?” I ask, cutting him off with a chuckle.
“What? I was trying to cover my bases,” he says, putting two more bags on the counter.
“What’s that?” I ask, pointing to a brown paper bag.
He pulls out a bottle of Johnnie Walker with a wicked grin on his face. “For the celebration portion of this night.”
I cover his fingers with mine when I move to grab the bottle. “What are we celebrating?”
He comes in close and presses his lips to mine. “I’ll tell you later. Let’s eat.”
“What if I want to celebrate a different way?” I ask cheekily.
He wraps his arm around my waist and squeezes my hip. “We could have a threesome with Johnnie,” he says with a wicked grin. “We can lick it off each other if that’s what you want.”
“Maybe.”
He smirks and kisses me again. “Where’s the dishes?”
We fill our plates with food, and I grab a couple bottles of Coke out of the fridge, and we sit down at my small dining room table and enjoy dinner together.
“What’s the news?” I ask between bites. “You seem awfully happy, so are you gonna fill me in, or what?”
Merrick wipes his mouth with a napkin and grins. “You’re impatient.”
“I’m curious,” I amend.
He pushes his plate away and rests his arms on the table. “I told the guys.”
My eyes widen as I stare at him in shock. “You did?”
“Yep.”
“And they’re okay with it?”
“Carlos was mad that I felt I had to hide it from them for this long, but they’re not mad-mad.”
“And Sky? Jay?” I ask, forgetting my own food.
“Sky said he was suspicious. He knew I wasn’t always going with the girls we’d meet up with. I guess they would go find their friends who were with Sky, so he knew I wasn’t hooking up with them.” He pauses and chuckles. “And I guess Jordy was right, because
