“Well, all right. Text me when you’re back, okay?”
I nod and he gives me a kiss before leaving my apartment. We’ve only been together for a few months, but it’s been amazing.
I pick up my phone and text back.
Me: Meet me at Antoni’s? 15 minutes?
Kingston: Sure.
I’m there in ten, and I watch as he rounds the corner and crosses in front of the window. God, he’s grown. He looks taller and broader in the shoulders. I haven’t seen him in nearly eight months, and almost forgot how fucking sexy he is.
He pulls open the door, triggering the bell above to jingle, and walks straight to me with a tiny smirk playing on his lips. He always looks like he’s thinking about something lascivious. I stand up, unsure what to do. I want to hug and kiss him and tell him how much I’ve missed him. Not in just the least eight months, but these last few years. I wish we could go back to being seventeen again.
“Ali,” he says with a small chuckle, opening his arms to me.
I step to him, and we’re chest to chest with our arms wrapped around each other. “Hey,” I manage.
“God, you look good,” he whispers into my ear, sending goose bumps down my arms.
I clear my throat and step back. “Nice to see you again,” I say, sitting back down in my chair. No need to let anyone see I’ve already started getting hard.
“Dude, it’s been what? Four months? Five?” he asks.
“Eight.”
“Shit. Eight fucking months? Really?”
“Yep. How’ve you been? Busy, I guess.”
He grins and runs his hand through his hair, and I track every movement. The veins in his arms catch my attention, as does the twinkle in his eyes as he looks at me. “Yeah, man. Real busy. We’ve been doing shows all through PA and up to New York. Of course, we started here in Ohio. Jay’s dad has some connections, I guess, and he hooked us up with this guy who’s been our promoter.” He chuckles. “Shit, can you believe how that sounds? We have a promoter. Anyway, yeah, so he’s been calling all over the place and sending emails, setting up gigs. We’ve played state fairs, charity events, store openings, and even been in some bars and casinos. We got lucky and got squeezed into a music festival in Philly and New York. It’s been crazy.”
I can’t help but smile as I listen to him. He always lights up when he talks about his music. “That’s good, man. I’m proud of you.”
“Yeah?” he asks sheepishly. He glances around the room and lowers his voice when he says, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot.”
I fight off my grin. “Oh yeah? I haven’t heard from you in a long time.”
Merrick ducks his head, scratching at his jaw. “I know. I’m sorry. You just can’t imagine what it’s like out there. We’re on the move non-stop.”
“I get it.”
He looks around again. “I want to touch you. Why did you pick the most public place to meet?”
It takes me a few seconds before I can lift my head and look him in the eye. “We gotta talk, Kingston.”
He sits back, already looking heartbroken. “What is it?”
I exhale deeply. “I’m dating someone.”
“Oh.” He tries to hide the disappointment, but I see it. I’m watching him too closely to miss the hurt in his eyes. “Who is it?”
I chew on my bottom lip for a second, scared to tell him. “His name is Shae.”
Pure shock blankets his face. “I’m sorry, what? Who? It’s a him?”
I cross my arms over my chest and lean back in my chair. “Why is that a surprise, Kingston? Obviously, I’m into dudes.”
His eyes shift around the room again, nervous. “Uh, yeah, but. . .”
“I came out already. Anybody I care about knows the truth.”
“You came out?” He sounds like he’s in a daze.
“I did.”
“We had planned to do that together.”
“We planned a few things, Kingston. Shit changes. You’re never here.”
“Ali.” He whispers my name, falling back in his chair. The dejection in his eyes pierces my heart. “Nothing’s changed. I still want the same things we talked about.”
“Oh really? So you’re ready to quit playing music? You want to move away with me to New York? That was our plan, Kingston. We wanted to turn eighteen, tell our families we were gay and in love, then run off to New York and live happily ever after in a city that offers much more than this little town.” I shake my head. “Those are the dreams of children. I don’t expect that to happen.”
“Back then I didn’t think music was going to take off like it did. We could get a record deal, Ali. We’ve been sending off demos and selling our music at the shows we do. We could really make it.”
“And I mean it when I say I’m really proud of you. I am. I hope you do make it. But you and I both know that if that happens, there’s no room for me.”
“You could come with us,” he offers. “You know the guys. We can travel around together.”
“Do the guys know you’re gay?”
Once again, he’s quick to scan the surrounding area. “Can we go outside, please? Take a walk?”
I stand up and pay for my soda, then meet him outside. “I can tell by your skittish behavior that nobody knows you’re gay yet.”
“Of course nobody knows. We were going to do that together, remember?”
“Yeah, two years ago.”
“I’ve been busy!”
“I know, and that’s fine, but did you expect me to keep hiding who I am from everybody until you were ready? That’s not fair to me. And what am I supposed to tell the rest of the band? That I want to travel along just for the fun of it?
