We turn the corner, moving farther away from people traveling down Main Street. “I still want a future with you,” he says.
I sigh. “You’re not ready.”
He yanks me into an alleyway and pushes me against the concrete wall. His hips pin me in place and his hands go to my waist. “I know I want you. I know how I feel when I think about you. Why is that not enough?”
I force myself to keep my hands at my sides, even though I want them to explore his body. “I don’t want what we have to be a secret, and you’re not ready to be out yet.”
Merrick runs his thumb over my lips. “Then I’ll come out. I’ll tell my brothers and I’ll tell the band. Then we can be together.”
My chest heaves with deep breaths as I get lost in his eyes. “I have a boyfriend,” I say softly.
Merrick dips his head and lets his nose run down my cheek before he buries his face in my neck and inhales. “But I want you.”
“You want to fuck me,” I say, bringing my fingers to the belt loops of his jeans.
He groans and I feel his cock harden against mine. “That too.”
“Then let me know when you tell people. Don’t rush, and don’t do it for me, but let me know when it happens.”
He slowly pulls away from me. “You’re killing me, Ali. I’ve been dying to see you and you’re here telling me you have a boyfriend. A fucking boyfriend. God! I’ve only ever been with you.” He shakes his head slowly, his eyes full of sorrow. “You’re breaking my heart.”
My own heart shatters at his words, then he turns and walks away from me.
5
Merrick
Present Day
“I’ll tell you what,” Jay says, laying across the couch, his blond hair hanging over the arm. “I can’t wait until this tour is done. We’ve been on the road for almost a fucking year. I am exhausted. I think I’m gonna head to that island with Sky.”
“Fuck off. Get your own island,” Sky calls out from the bar in the suite of my hotel room. “It’s only gonna be me and like five or six chicks. Only one dick is allowed on my island.”
Jay rolls his eyes. “What’re you doing, Merrick? Goin’ home? Goin’ back to Paris to find those chicks you were caught with?”
I ignore the comment about the girls in Paris. No need to tell the band that when we got into the hotel, I got them a room for themselves and called it a night. “Yeah, I’m goin’ home. My brothers are already expecting me.”
“I thought about it, but my parents don’t even live there anymore, and I didn’t really stay in touch with people we went to school with. So.” He shrugs, then throws a baseball up and catches it.
“I’m probably going back for a few days,” Carlos says from the other couch. “That’s about all I can take when it comes to being around my family. I bought them a bigger house out in the country, new cars, and I throw some cash at them every once in a while. It’s still not enough.”
“I’ll be staying in a hotel,” I tell them. “I usually stay with Elijah, but I don’t want to intrude on newlywed time.”
“I can’t believe Elijah got married,” Sky says with a laugh. “Man, he hated when we’d practice in the garage. Always coming out and asking when we were gonna go home.”
“Yeah, he found the love of his life and didn’t hesitate to lock her down. But I’m happy for him. Royce is planning his wedding now, too. And Cill and Midge just got a house together, so I imagine wedding bells are in their future, too.”
“Damn, everyone’s getting old and settling down,” Jay says, still throwing his ball. “You next, Merrick?” he asks with a laugh, like he knows I’m far from settling down.
“He better not be,” Sky says. “I need my wingman.”
I shake my head and chuckle. “Come on, none of us are getting married anytime soon, right? We’ll have this little break, then be back at it.”
“I’m with Tish,” Jay adds. “We make it work.”
Sky scoffs. “Tish is nothing but a groupie, bro. She’s probably at some other band’s concert right now.”
“Fuck off,” Jay says. “She loves me.”
Sky gives me a look then takes a drink. “And Carlos over here is in love with his high school sweetheart.”
“Did you love her when you were screwing those chicks the other night?” Jay asks.
“Hey, she knows I have needs. She’s doing her, and I’m doing me. We’ll be together again.”
“Yeah, sounds like a good plan,” I deadpan. Sky almost spits out his drink when he laughs.
“Look, neither of us is stupid enough to think that we’ll be faithful to each other during this time. We’re in love, but we’re young, man. We don’t talk about the shit we’re doing, but we stay in touch. When we’re ready to settle down, and when we can buy a house together and figure out our lives, we’ll do it. Until then. . .” he shrugs, leaving the sentence hanging.
Sky tilts his head side to side. “I kinda get it.”
Carlos goes back to the PlayStation game he’s playing, but aims his next words at me. “And you? You’re cool being Sky’s wingman forever? You don’t have anyone back home? Or haven’t met anyone on the road?”
Sky comes over to me and wraps his arm around my neck, tugging me into his side. “Come on, man. Don’t put ideas in his head. Me and Merrick are like two peas in a pod. Like you said, we’re young. Why do we need to rush into settling down?”
“Now that I think about it, are we young?” Jay questions. “We’re between twenty-six and twenty-eight. Aren’t chicks ready to be having babies around thirty?”
“So,
