“Well, yeah, sometimes. But it’s always to protect the community.” I said, wanting to collapse in on myself in embarrassment.
What was it about this guy that got me so… so wound up?
He took another gulp of water, then asked, “And I’m guessing you know all the gossip.”
“I hate gossip,” I said firmly.
I could practically feel him recoil.
“…sorry,” I backtracked, adjusting my position. “But it’s just that I spend all day in gossip. Trying to get stories from different people, compare them, look for mistakes, look for gaps in logic… it gets exhausting.”
There was a beat as he took this in. He listened.
It had been so long since I was actually, truly listened to. Usually, people just told me everything. But this guy… Luke, he was attentive to what I was telling him.
“That does sound terrible, sorry, I was only trying to make conversation…”
“No! It’s not a bad thing,” I said, almost pleading with him to stay in this conversation with me. For a minute I had to wonder who was here for whom. I had come into this bathroom and sat down thinking that I was a life vest tossing myself out to a man who was clearly drowning, but now I felt that he was some kind of buoy that I was clinging onto.
Something about him made me want to tell him everything.
But I couldn’t. The last person I told everything… couldn’t handle it.
“Gossip is a bad thing,” Luke said, his voice hardening a bit. “I have to worry about gossip every single day that I live with my mom. Her reputation is everything.”
I remembered that his mom was probably the most well-known person in the community: Sarah DuPont.
“It’s got to be hard to go through that,” I said flatly, though I was hoping it came across as empathetic.
“No one gets it,” he said. “It’s like… it’s like I’m just this extension of her. Everything I do needs to go through her first.”
“Does she know you bartend?” I asked, already knowing the answer. There was no way that Sarah DuPont would let her son do something like that.
“Absolutely not! And… and please don’t tell her…” he begged. “It’s like… the one thing that I have away from her.”
“Your secret is safe with me,” I assured him in full confidence. I would keep his secrets, that was something I was sure of.
We sat in silence for a few more minutes. There was something about this silence that was… it wasn’t awkward. It was comfortable.
I was sure that my brother had gone home without me; there was no way he was still waiting for me in the bar.
“Do you want a ride home?” I asked, breaking the silence.
There was a pause, then, “That would be nice. But could you drop me off a block away from my house? My mom can’t know.”
“Sure thing,” I said, eager to do anything and everything to please him. He was innocent; he needed to be protected.
There was a shuffling from the stall, then I heard the lock click and the door swung open.
Out stepped Luke, more beautiful and blonde than ever. Even seeing him under this dingy fluorescent bathroom light took my breath away.
“…do I look okay?” He asked innocently. “Is it obvious that I just had an attack?”
“No! I mean yes, you look fine!” I said, the words bubbling out of my mouth.
Seriously, what was wrong with me?
He went up to the mirror and examined his reflection.
“Oh my God, I’m a mess! Ugh, and I have to stay here until eleven…”
I frowned. I didn’t realize how much I’d been looking forward to driving him home.
With a tilt of my wrist, I checked the time. It was only nine-something.
Standing up to my full height, I towered over him. “You shouldn’t have to work when you’re all shaken up. I’ll talk to the barkeep — we’ve got a rapport.”
“Really?” he asked, brightening up. “I don’t want to disappoint her.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll get it handled.” I assured him. And nothing made me feel better than making problems like this go away.
A few moments later, I was at the register explaining to Claudia about Luke needing to go home. I needed to ask him some questions about a case, I told her.
The way her eyes widened when she looked at me made me realize that she thought I was my brother Jake at first. She thought she was going to have to get into some kind of scene. But they softened when they took in my wider face, my taller, more filled-out form.
It was almost as if I could see the words form in her head, Thank God he didn’t come back.
I too was glad that Jake was already gone. That meant that I could spend some time alone with this angelic guy.
It was as if all the stars had aligned, and now I finally got what I had been wishing for the past month: To get some of his time all to myself.
I opened the passenger door to my truck and gestured for Luke to climb in.
Then I shut the door, walked around the beast, and got into the driver’s seat.
This was turning out to be an interesting night.
5
Luke
“I thought we’d be in a cop car,” I said to the giant man next to me as I strapped myself in.
“I’m not on duty right now,” he answered simply, backing the truck out of the parking spot.
Stupid, my brain heckled me. Of course he wouldn’t be driving a patrol car — he was at a bar.
“It’s okay,” he said, as if sensing my internal recoiling, “I wish I was in the patrol car most of the time, anyway. It’s really hard to park this thing…”
And truly, it seemed like it was. He had to back up and pull forward at least half a dozen times to get the huge truck out of the tight parking spot.
As he maneuvered the massive vehicle, my exhausted mind was still whirling away with the memories of today.
At the bookstore, I thought I’d never see this guy again. This guy
