“What do you mean?” I asked. “It felt like I was just lying there.”
“No, you let me know when you weren’t comfortable. You said ‘yellow’ when I walked away, remember?”
“Oh yeah, I remember…” I said, trying to see through the fog in my mind. All I could think of when I pictured Adam walking away from me was fear. “Yeah, I didn’t like that you walked out of my sight. It was kind of triggering… but other than that, oh my God…”
I touched my hand to the side of his gorgeous face. “How are you even allowed to exist? I can’t believe you’re real…”
He smiled, and I could tell that happiness was coursing through his veins the same way it was coursing through mine.
“I love you,” he said, looking me in the eye.
“I love you too,” I muttered.
We kissed long and deep. It wasn’t a sexy kiss; it was a kiss filled with sweetness and care.
When we pulled away, he stroked my hair, his eyes flickering to all of the features of my face.
“What are you doing?” I asked sleepily.
“Memorizing this moment,” he said. “You’re perfect, you know that?”
“No, you’re perfect…” I said, nuzzling into him. I breathed in his scent; the scent of fresh pine needles.
We squeezed each other tightly and laid there for what felt like hours, just enjoying being in each others’ presence.
“What time is it?” I asked after a while.
“I don’t know, and I don’t really care,” he said. “I could stay like this forever.”
“Me too,” I said. “The outside world can… it can all be a nuclear wasteland out there for all I care.”
“Heh…” he said. “You know what I’m thinking of…”
“What, what are you thinking of?” I asked, ravenously eager to know his every thought.
“That one episode of Twilight Zone—”
“Wait! The one with the guy who goes to the bank vault, and when he comes out, everything is destroyed and everyone is dead?”
“Yeah!” Adam exclaimed excitedly, “And then when he comes out, he’s all happy that all the annoying people are dead, and he goes around collecting books,”
“He puts them in stacks, gets his whole life planned out for him,” I continued.
“And then when he has everything all perfectly set up, he leans down and—”
“—and his glasses fall off and break!” I finished.
Adam was chuckling. “It’s a classic!”
“I know, right?!” I said, squirming with happiness in his arms. I loved this; this simple, stupid connection we had.
“When’s the last time you watched the Twilight Zone?” he asked, watching me keenly.
“Oh, um…” I had to think to remember. Then my face fell. “Oh, it’s actually the time I was mad at you.”
“That recently?” he asked, his face contorting into that smile I loved so much.
“Yeah… that was the night when I saw the texts on your phone from Brian,” I said. “I was feeling really jealous, and I didn’t know why. Maybe because I already felt so connected to you, and I didn’t like having to think about you having that connection with anyone else.”
Adam chuckled, then said, “I’m sorry it made you feel like that; I don’t ever want to make you feel like that. But just so we’re clear — what I had with Brian never even came close to what I feel for you.”
“Really?” I asked, wanting to believe him.
“Oh, are you kidding me?” he asked. “What I had with Brian was more… transactional. From here, I’m realizing I just had a crush on him. It was nothing compared to what I feel when I’m with you.”
From the certainty in his eyes, I knew that he was being genuine.
All of the fear, jealousy, and possessiveness that had been growing in my gut about Brian melted away in that moment.
Adam was all mine.
20
Adam
After a while of us enjoying each others’ presence in the bed, I finally checked the time.
“We’ve got a few more hours of daylight,” I said.
“Do we have enough time for me to show you my campus?” he asked.
I gave him a puzzled look.
“…it’s only a short drive away,” he explained, “and I want you to see where I’ll be going next week; show you around in case you want to visit me sometime…” he said, fear creeping into his eyes.
“Of course I’ll come and visit you!” I exclaimed as we got out of bed. “What did you think, that as soon as your out of my sight you’ll be out of mind? You’re my boyfriend, Luke, and I’ll visit you as often as I can.”
I planted a kiss on his lips.
He looked happy for a moment, but then he looked sad.
“What is it?” I asked, dying to know what was eating at him.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” he said lamely, then forced himself to brighten up. “Come on, let’s take showers and then we can go— I’m all sticky from the lube.”
“Can we take a shower together?” I asked, my lips parting with want. Even though I’d just had Luke in my bed, I already wanted more of him.
“I thought you’d never ask!” he said with a sly smirk.
The next half hour or so, we got in the shower together and washed each other with soapy suds. He got on his knees and gave me another mind-blowing blowjob.
When I came, he looked up at me with those innocent eyes of his, opened his mouth, and let my come dribble down his face.
“That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” I moaned, leaning back against the tile of the shower wall.
He looked so smug.
Afterward, we got dressed. Luke wore one of his new Zara outfits, and I donned one of my tight black v-neck shirts and jeans.
After barely being able to keep our hands off each other long enough to put on clothes, we got in the truck. It only took an hour or so to get to Luke’s campus.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been here,” I mentioned, driving the beast down the road at a slow pace. Students were jay-walking across
